The Pages of a Girl Called Me

Changeover

2009-01-04T23:52:00.003+08:00

I've always stayed true to this blog..went through many skin makeovers.. ahha.. my first ever blog.

So I want it to stay just the way it is. Hrm..

I've created a new blog at

http://thisisnursafiah.blogspot.com

So I'll be posting there from now on. (:

THANK YOU!

A Japanese Woman's Experience of Hijaab (and a bit of mine)

2009-01-01T19:51:00.001+08:00

I've always wanted to give a post on why I wear my selendang/tudung/hijab. Since I've put it on in Primary 5, my friends or people who were around me have been asking me why I wear the tudong. It's hard to explain in such a short time and it's hard to put it in words, especially when I have not put my thoughts into words.

When I decided, I didn't think to myself about the reasons. I just knew that it was one of the rules in the Quran, Allah's words...I told my mum of my decision to put it on.

She asked me, "Are you sure about this?"
I said," Yes".
"What if one day, you feel like taking it off and not wearing it anymore?"
"Then that will just be the shaitans."

There have been so many times, so so many times that I felt like not wearing my tudong since when I first started. Sometimes, it's cos of the shaitans. Though, it's quite hard sometimes, especially because I was young and my friends could put on any old t-shirt that they wanted but I had to find long sleeved ones. But over the years, as my thinking matured or should I say progressed? and as my friends wanted to know and I always got involved in activities where there were not many people wearing the tudong which increased the numbers of those types of friends, I had to really sit down and think why I made this decision in the first place.

Sometimes, significant things happen and you don't really notice. Well I noticed that since I did put on the tudong, I notice that the people around me start to put them on too. Me and my cousin, Najihah, who's around the same age as me had this code on what to wear as we neared what age. At some point in growing up, we stopped wearing shorts, then bermudas then 3/4 pants and we only put on long pants. Even without anyone telling us, we preferred not showing so much skin. It was some kind of inborn instinct. I can't remember who put in on first or what. I don't remember if we discussed about it but I think we made the decision at around the same time. And Najihah is one of my close cousins.

I had violin lessons every Saturday too, since K2 and it might be a surprise for them when one Saturday, I turned up wearing the tudong. I can't remember if any of the students wore it too but I believe, I was the first in my class. There were some other seniors though. Then a few months later, I think another student in my class started and some time after that, another. My own teacher didn't wear the tudung but I guess, after some loooong time, something made her wear it too. Maybe some people thought that it was a requirement only after marriage. But she was still single. Even till now.

Am I saying that because of my decision, I influenced people to start wearing the tudong? No. But I guess, it's still nice to think that way. *can't be perassan right ehemm**

Also, after Kak Noi, me and Najihah are the eldest girl cousins in that side of the family. All our aunts wear tudungs. But Kak Noi doesn't wear it. It's a personal thing. It's not culture or tradition. But after Najihah and me, all the girl cousins wear tudungs after they reached maturity. It's easier when you have a family to support you. However, there's no certain age by when you HAVE to decide when you want to put it on...when it's right for you, you'll know. Hence, no one pesters Kak Noi to wear it, because she's her own person.

So yes, anyhways, this all started from me reading this article: A Japanese Woman's Experience of Hijaab

And I took a break and I can't remember what I actually wanted to say. Hrmm..ahha!

It's also very difficult sometimes when I go to school and I can't wear the tudung and when I'm not going to school, I'm wearing it. So therefore, I don't wear it for school-related activities. I just try not to take advantage of the times when I go to school wearing uniform and unable to wear the tudung.

Sometimes, I also see my friends who stop wearing tudung but I don't judge them because, who am I to judge. It's great though that they are thinking about the reasons that they're wearing the tudong. It's a commitment and no one should be forcing them to do so because if you're forced to do something, you won't follow through it full-heartedly because you don't believe in it. Also, when one is ready.

Well, yup I realise sometimes of how weak I am... all the things I wish Ihadn't done. I hope I find the strength not to commit any more sins...

Humans are just so weak aren't they. But it's easier to follow the rules.

So, to a new Hijrah year and to a new A.D. Year, I'll just have to be strong. Yupp.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

oh-nine

2009-01-01T00:54:00.001+08:00

wooo
So, it's a new year... bahh... there's so many things and I just can't put it into words...A fresh start and I can FINALLY start using that '09 diary. YABBADABBADOOOOO

WOO HOOO
YESSS!!! I can finally start to write and see my day planned out. I don't know why but I really like to see my day on a piece of paper. Surprises are always welcomed tho. Not everything is and will be planned is it?

The past year... wow, a lot of ups and downs... So many times I was crazily happy and equally as many times I was so down in the dumps. But... I always now that there are a select few that I can always turn to. And my classmates are hilarious as they always are.

Mari Mambo was a success but I think...hrmm..more organised stuff would'nt hurt too. HAHA. But it was really great seeing a plan becoming a reality. It's always great when that happens.

So for the next weeks, I foresee a lot of catching up of homework, reading of Shakespeare's plays, practising of SYF pieces and Borak Buddies date at Jannah's just us....homework + fondue. BAGOSSSS sangat. HEHEHEHE.

OH AND ERMA's SIS's WEDDING!!! GAHH homework everyday SAFIAH. YAHAHAHH!

ALL THE BEST ALL THE BEST!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

sleepy eyes

2008-12-29T09:24:00.001+08:00

8.33am in the morning...
"wake up. wake up ah, the faster you do your homework, the faster you finish it"
*grunts** "I still wanna sleeeeep"
"oh can you buy deodarant for me?"
"WHAT?! you want me to choose the way you smell?!"
"yup. deodorant ah. not perfume."

Yesterday:
"Go and read New Moon ok. Got some stuff I wanna tell you, it's in there"

hahahaha...
To Do List for Today:
1. Call Muu, ask when can I borrow her book
2. DO THOSE FREAKING FOUR ESSAYS!!!
3. Buy deodorant! WAHWHAHA. xP

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Suria Hatiku by Taufik Batisah

2008-12-27T01:25:00.003+08:00

Bought Beyonce's album already.
Need to buy Taufik's. Am so out of this world. I dint even realise that HE RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. BAH.
Reconsidering Ne-Yo's.
Feel like getting Akon's too. GAHH.
I don't really buy albums y'know. WAHHAHA.
Will save up for it.
Cos i seriously no money le.

Can't wait for Mari Mambo.
Got to publicise it to the Cedar-MJCians now. WAHAH. Think I wanna sleepover then. Hrm..and make it a mugging session too, but guess that'll be impossible huh?

Well Well Well...
I have grown a lot in this month, character-wise.
When's school's out,
real life enters.

Family, responsibilities, life, the great balancing act.
Guess I'm just kinda one way now huh.
HAHA...

Don't feel like updating much.
Since, homework is still there.
One heap and mountain of it.
Don't know why I'm writing like this.

I kinda miss Elliot now.
That was very random.
And I miss my crazy girlfriends cum classmates.
I miss Miss L.
I miss Lit classes.
I miss being school-booky and studious.
I do not miss guitar cos have been having it throughout hols.

Holidays...really saturated with topsy-turvy wild rides, exciting moments, tears, laughter, love, warmth, hugs. HAHA. Good holiday Safiah...ready for the new year?

How They Make Toys At Google

2008-12-27T00:00:00.001+08:00

This is...
err

hahaha... interesting and cute..

CLICK

Blogged with the Flock Browser

The Storyteller, Part 2

2008-12-25T14:36:00.001+08:00

"On no soul does God place a burden greater than it can bear."
al-Baqarah, last verse...

The Storyteller, Part 2

Blogged with the Flock Browser

wishlist (music)

2008-12-22T01:04:00.001+08:00

If I could...
I'd buy:

Ne-Yo's Year of the Gentleman

and

Beyonce's I Am...Sasha Fierce

GAHH. I'm trying to put their songs from the albums on my playlist... heehee...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

That's why. This is why.

2008-12-21T16:22:00.001+08:00

"What drew Mooradian to the story was not its exoticism, but rather its universality. "There have been thousands of vampire films made," he says. "What sets this apart is the love story. Vampirism in this story is simply a metaphor for teenage lust, for that feeling of 'I want you, but I can't have you.' I thought that was such a wonderful metaphor to express teenage longing. "

- From the official website of Twilight

First time I chiong-ed a book and then straightaway, went to watch it after going swimming with Geraldine. Met Filzah then we went to watch after dinner. Felt rushed tho... wished had more time to talk to Filzah....

Thought the book had a very simple language...Not very literature-ish. Nothing really to analyse and all that... ahhaa..

BAHH....
Muscles aching after swimming. Just a bit. But it's a good ache...

Something's aching more though.
NYA!

4 more days...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

If I Were A Boy- Beyonce

2008-12-20T15:10:00.002+08:00

This was the first time I heard the song and saw her perform. Was moved cos she was crying...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

holiday homework reminder to myself

2008-12-17T21:47:00.001+08:00

1. Dear students,

Afraid you will be out of touch in your Economics? Feeling inadequate about your ability to tackle case study questions?

Dont worry- there are two pieces of assignments you can practice during the holidays.

Refer to the 'green book' MJC Revision Questions and complete these two assignments:

i. N2004 , The market for sugar in the UK, p 20

ii. N2007, H1 Economics case study, International Tourism, pp 35-37.

Complete these assignment and bring them back for your first tutorial January 2009.

2. Dear Students,

P&P Context Practices and work on any one passage (full-length essay, typed) for holiday homework.
All essays are to be submitted during the first Literature tutorial in 2009.

Have fun (not being ironic)

Love,
Msschoo L.

3. Hi guys,
December break doesn't mean a break from Geography. In order to prep for next year (y'know, given your grades and all), we have prepared work for you.

Please download this from the IVLE workbin from Monday.

1. Book Review
2. Summary work

Note the different deadlines for each part of the assignment.

H1s may do any relevant section. H2s do everything.

Ms S.

Haiz... half more month to a brand new year....and nothing's been done to catch up with the old.. GAHH

XOXO

N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

locked locked locked

2008-12-16T23:29:00.001+08:00

ok

I reaaly need to watch:

Sepet
Gubra
Mukhsin
Muallaf

And I finally realised,

I want to do what Yasmin Ahmad is doing. So, yerp... something like that... maybe more of my way la.. but yes. That's what I want...

Question is right,

HOW HOW HOW
gosshhh..

haiz.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Madagascar 2

2008-12-08T23:29:00.001+08:00

HAHAHA....

*cringes**
*cringes**

Was it reallly appropriate for the children? Only because they won't understand....
especially all the lame parts. HAAH. *cringes again**
hahaha...
man...
but..

I was just reaaaaaalllly speechless haha...
I just had to choose that movie right? WAHAHAHAH.
Dang. xP

Moto Moto. Tsk Tsk Tsk
Sorry for excessive giggling. NYAHAHS.
Gosh...

*cringes**
*covers eyes***

N there's a lot of the music videos on youtube. I wouldn't even know they existed if not for Moto Moto...hahaha... He's really innocent & sweet but he's just not deep ain't he... tsk poor boy. Still, entertaining MVs...especially with collaborations with Will.I.Am. Hrmm Hrmm...

Ok I mean... I think mb I internalised it too much to really say that it's good for kids... wahas.. It's just HIIIILARRIOUUSSSS. hahaha.

Whoever did the characterization for Moto Moto, really did it well. HOHUM. Yes, insert Lit here. xP

This is the only video I allow myself to put here. Gosh... the MVs too much for me... wahahs. ~shakes head~

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

coming sooon

2008-12-08T19:44:00.001+08:00

If there's a Mozilla fanclub, I would really join it. WAHAHHA... Mozilla really rocks.
I LOVE MOZILLA!!!
hehehehe.

Thank you thank you for making it so so so fun to use the internet and so so so easy. Thank you for always finding more ways and putting in the effort. WOO HOOS. Go MOZILLA! Nyahahahahas.

I also love handmade stuff...

And unique stuff... WOOS. So, one day, when I'll be able to do online shopping, I'll refer to this post.. (: Or when I'm really free and able to get my hands on the proper materials, I'll do 'em myself! *GRINNNNS***

wahahhah!

So, here's for the future Safiah, whatever happens to you in the end, may you always be happy (: and still be true to yourself. Yerp (:

etsy.com
Sprout Studio

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Aidiladha

2008-12-07T21:25:00.002+08:00

What is Eid al-Adha

At the end of the Hajj (annual pilgrimage to Mecca), Muslims throughout the world celebrate the holiday of Eid al-Adha (Festival of Sacrifice). In 2008, Eid al-Adha will begin on approximately December 8th, and will last for three days.

What does Eid al-Adha commemorate?

During the Hajj, Muslims remember and commemorate the trials and triumphs of the Prophet Abraham. The Qur'an describes Abraham as follows:

"Surely Abraham was an example, obedient to Allah, by nature upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He was grateful for Our bounties. We chose him and guided him unto a right path. We gave him good in this world, and in the next he will most surely be among the righteous." (Qur'an 16:120-121)

One of Abraham's main trials was to face the command of Allah to kill his only son. Upon hearing this command, he prepared to submit to Allah's will. When he was all prepared to do it, Allah revealed to him that his "sacrifice" had already been fulfilled. He had shown that his love for his Lord superceded all others, that he would lay down his own life or the lives of those dear to him in order to submit to God.

Why do Muslims sacrifice an animal on this day?

During the celebration of Eid al-Adha, Muslims commemorate and remember Abraham's trials, by themselves slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel, or goat. This action is very often misunderstood by those outside the faith.

Allah has given us power over animals and allowed us to eat meat, but only if we pronounce His name at the solemn act of taking life. Muslims slaughter animals in the same way throughout the year. By saying the name of Allah at the time of slaughter, we are reminded that life is sacred.

The meat from the sacrifice of Eid al-Adha is mostly given away to others. One-third is eaten by immediate family and relatives, one-third is given away to friends, and one-third is donated to the poor. The act symbolizes our willingness to give up things that are of benefit to us or close to our hearts, in order to follow Allah's commands. It also symbolizes our willingness to give up some of our own bounties, in order to strengthen ties of friendship and help those who are in need. We recognize that all blessings come from Allah, and we should open our hearts and share with others.

It is very important to understand that the sacrifice itself, as practiced by Muslims, has nothing to do with atoning for our sins or using the blood to wash ourselves from sin. This is a misunderstanding by those of previous generations: "It is not their meat nor their blood that reaches Allah; it is your piety that reaches Him." (Qur'an 22:37)

The symbolism is in the attitude - a willingness to make sacrifices in our lives in order to stay on the Straight Path. Each of us makes small sacrifices, giving up things that are fun or important to us. A true Muslim, one who submits his or herself completely to the Lord, is willing to follow Allah's commands completely and obediently. It is this strength of heart, purity in faith, and willing obedience that our Lord desires from us.

What else do Muslims do to celebrate the holiday?

On the first morning of Eid al-Adha, Muslims around the world attend morning prayers at their local mosques. Prayers are followed by visits with family and friends, and the exchange of greetings and gifts. At some point, members of the family will visit a local farm or otherwise will make arrangements for the slaughter of an animal. The meat is distributed during the days of the holiday or shortly thereafter.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Only One knows best

2008-12-07T20:58:00.006+08:00

"Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind."
(Hadith; Muslims & Bukhari)

"You will not enter paradise until you have faith; and you will not complete your faith till you love one another."
(Hadith; Muslim)

For some reasons, I just can't do certain things. I think it's because, I see my flaws beside you. Increasingly, I realise how much how much my faith is weak. And people think I'm strong because I wear the tudung. I'm sooo not that state yet. I'm still so weak, so weak...

Maybe then, I should improve myself first, think of myself first before I can even think of anyone else.

It's so hard sometimes because there's distractions everyday. Sometimes I just want to go to some very very quiet place and be alone and think and gain more knowledge because I feel so weak and so inadequate with what I have, and have no other responsibilities but just wanting to know and wanting to learn even more. Like haha... I wish there was a cave in Tampines huh? Maybe my room would do. Maybe I could buy a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign with an indication of how many hours I would want to be alone.

Thank you for being the hard knock on my head.

Mum says, "If humans can't teach us, Allah will."

Humans have taught me a lot.

My baby brother taught me the importance of doing chores, the importance of waking up early in the morning to do chores before I leave the house. He didn't really preach it to me of course, he's just 1 year plus... but he made me realise. And I think, that's the most effective way to learn. When you realise it yourself.

My mum made me realise how I prefer things to be planned, how I prefer to know what will go on in my week, my days. She made me realise how I'd rather not follow my emotions but sit down and think it throught, but I know myself that emotions are something that just happens. So, I learnt how to let the emotion wash over me before thinking, and then, taking actions after my thoughts.

My younger brother made me realised how to manage my time, and how to be wise and think on the guy side of stuff. He's growing too...

My father made me realise how I need certain things in my life...how I need certain things to be...

What else do I need to know? What else have humans not taught me...? For now, it's all too overwhelming, what I need to do with myself. How much more I need to learn...

Learning.. learning.. I guess I should read the Doctor Faustus play by Christopher Marlowe... because humans wrote some great Literature and I always learn a lot from them too...that's why I love Lit...I always learn more about myself, about the people around me, about how and why they act the way they are sometimes...

and Love, I learn it everyday...what it should be, what it is...

How much more we need to learn...
How much more we need to know...
And yet, all that we can ever know is just a fraction of all the knowledge that exists in the whole universe...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
I've got a looooong way to go

Blogged with the Flock Browser

L Hurts

2008-12-07T15:30:00.002+08:00

This is beyond hope.
Beyond hope...

I'm just putting my faith in the one who knows about everything.
I don't want to think about anything else too.
Can we pretend nothing ever happened?
We can't deny all that has. Can we just become grammy-award winning-actors then? Can we?
I wasn't Mad.
I can't ask for anything...just let this be...just let it be please...
Can't we just see where the River Flows? Is it so excruciating for you not to know what will happen in your life? Must everything be planned? Nothing is for sure... but Surprises brought happiness

but if it hurts so much to wait and see...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Cedar updates

2008-12-05T23:50:00.003+08:00

wahhaha!

Oh man, how did I not come to know of this?!?!

My ex-cca, one of it, Cedar Media Club, came online. As in, they made INK come online too. WAHH. I'm so proud of them! Gosh, producing INK was such a sacrifice... a labour of love... but the end product... gosh, how much I loved seeing the end product and seeing people read the newsletter. The process of discussing with my writers, everyone gathering around me, giving out articles, assigning them to those who would like to do articles on it...

Anyhoos... here's the link...

http://cmc-oink.blogspot.com/

Woohoos, watching Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa and Netball Chalet tomorrow!!!! WAHHH... miss my girls so muchhh! Lots to poke and talk about. And on Thursday, I met the sec 4s-no-longer: Irdayu, Xin Yi and Inooja at Small Macs on the way to Pasir Ris. haha...wahhs.. somehow, they look bigger to me.. compared to when they were only sec 1... *goes all soft eyes*** Aww...the kids are all grown up.

am I happy? yep
am I lucky? yep
am I grateful? so so much
am I thankful? even more

Oh, check out this guy, Yiruma on Youtube... wahha.. he's from, Korea and his compositions on piano are really beautiful...I'm adding them on my playlist. ^^v Found him through Marli's blog.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

supercoolhappylovething

2008-12-05T11:56:00.003+08:00

Let's find a new adjective for you, Safiah...

How about, supercoolhappylovething?

Yeah, a bit clumsy.

How about, immaculate?

Yeah, ahh, tricky.

So, how about just, adored!?

Yeah, not new.

Last idea, Nur... imaginary.

Oh, that's really good.

Phew,
The Universe

P.S. Your imagination, Safiah, not mine. Set it free.

haha... I kinda like supercoolhappylovething. xP

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Yes Sean, last day of work.

2008-12-03T22:11:00.001+08:00

HAHA
Last day of work
Last day...

I learnt a lot a lot a lot.

A lot of things I learnt I learnt I learnt.

Mrs Chong treated me to an Indonesian restaurant at Great World City for lunch. I'm still full now. Sometimes, I feel so adult working. WHAHAH.. But it gets so boring and lonely sometimes. And I always rush to finish my work. I was rushing today. HAHAHAH. Lay Hong went to lunch with us too.

Whew... enough office work for some time.
And I get allowance which is more than my normal monthly allowance, which is really great.

But I still need rest and a lot of catching up with my books, homework, friends, my room, my bed, my darling darling baby brother, my family, my life. It's all spinning and settling down slowly. I'm really glad I chose not to go for the camp. I'm really tired of committing to school stuff. WAHH... SYF will be one pressure next year... but we'll all be able to do it fine...

Oh and this ang moh granddad just nodded to me and smiled on my way to work from Orchard MRT. I was so surprised I gave a genuine smile back. Maybe it's cos I felt so happy with life cos the wind was shaking all the dead leaves away from the trees and they were just flying everywhere and I felt so confident and powerful. Maybe I gave a very good aura too. WAHHA xP. More people should do that. It's really good. Do you think the ang moh did that to every person he passed by? Must be tiring. But that doesn't matter because he gestured to me. (:

GOOO SAFIAH! wahaha xP

I had a good long discussion/ talk with my mum. I wanted advise. And then, my brother sat himself down and he started telling us his story, his problem. And both me and my mum helped. I love it when this happens. I like being open with my family. (: I like that we trust each other this much.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
self love all the way too!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

just a wish

2008-11-26T22:27:00.005+08:00

I wish so much that Mrs Chong didn't reschedule the attachment and made it 2 days later because I miss so much on the first 3 days of December.

I'll be late for Class BBQ.
I'm missing out on being with ChildAid 2009 and thus, the IN Crowders...
aww

but I guess I spent the Monday and Tuesday well too. HAHA. Went to Courts to survey laptop and to The Central at Clarke Quay. Sim Yee's right. They have a lot of my kind of stuff. And guess what. They're expensive too.. haiz.. which are so not in my league.

Tomorrow is Thursday and then, Friday, I'll not be going for work but going to school instead for Guitar Camp. And I'd have missed out a lot because I missed playing the second half of the first piece- Dance of the Yao People and I haven't even taken a look at the second piece, the french on one. I'm dreading coming back because I'll be lost. As usual. And I got to cram practising it. Since I am Section Leader. HAIZ. And I got to make sure my section goes well. But how do I ensure that when I'm not even sure sometimes? NYAAA! Plus my fingering and theirs is so different! I hope King and Max helps me out. A lot. GOSH. I think when I come back, my section's gonna lead me instead. AHHHH. Gosh. What a lousy SL I am. I feel so bad.

But camp will be fun. Whole of Friday and Saturday....

Friday night, my batch netballers are going to have dinner together and I will miss it. GOSH. I'm missing a lot for this attachment. BAHH!!! I better put in my all and maybe do extra stuff so the DD will be so impressed she'll right a wonderfully glowing report. Haiz...

So I will only be free on Saturday night.

Then Sunday, I got to clean up my room.

I don't know when you will arrive.

Monday is back to work again and then after that I got to rush to Pasir Ris Park for class bbq. I hope mum lets me go and I hope they'll let me off early since I missed Friday's early release. Then Tuesday, back to work Wednesday, it'll be my last day.

After that, homework, study revise study, a bit of holiday, family, and bye bye to all the NS people... yikes.

And then before I know it, it's Christmas, the sales will be up, the post-xmas sales, then New Year then school starts. Lectures, orientation period, lectures..study study, and then A levels. And then, my own schoolmates will be going for NS. How weird. And then..we will all go uni. Insya'allah. Am I thinking too far ahead? No. It's just reality. Time passes fast when you're busy being busy. You just try to pepper in some fun in between. *smiles**

Azmi's going in in January or February, I can't remember. But since he got PES C, he can only do clerk work or at best, medical officer.

Oh I just realised I only have to work 10 days instead of 14. I counted in weekends too. Haha. So that changes the whole fraction. HAHAH. I'm almost done. ALMOST.

4/8
6/10

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
wishes she could have...

Morning Earthlings

2008-11-26T09:50:00.006+08:00

BAHH

I don't think I had a peaceful sleep. Kept waking up to check my phone. For a haha reason.

The first time I woke, it was 2am. Got a message.
Then I woke again at 5 am.
I'm supposed to wake at 6 am. My alarm is supposed to go off at 6.

I slept until mum woke me up for Subuh. AHH it was 6.50+ already!!!! GAHH! Why didn’t the alarm ring WHY WHY WHY?

Looked at my phone....
Oh.

I set it at 7am. NYA! I must have been too sleepy yesterday night and pressed 7 instead of 6 when setting alarm. GRRtoot.

Wasn’t a restful sleep. It’s those type where you keep waking up and you feel like you only slept for maximum, 1 hour. I woke up and had puffy eyes. I have no idea why. I put on St Ives Eye Gel. Ooh. Nice. That feels better.

But, cool, cool. I’m not late. I had time to eat breakfast, play with Ilhan for a bit and wait for my other brother to. Adik had soccer so he wanted to go Bedok Interchange to meet his friends for soccer match with Fuchun Sec. Knowing that I’ll be taking MRT, he changed his plans of taking bus to take. Aww… still can squeeze quality time with Adik.

I took 7.45am train and arrived at Orchard Station at 8.15am. I have 3 more days till my library books are due. So I’ve been trying to make travelling time, reading time too. Bahh.. so many books so little time. I think I still have 3 more books to read! GAHH!
Yesterday, I was early so I sat on the MRT towards Pasir Ris so that I’d get to seat all the way to City Hall Interchange. I was feeling sick too yesterday so I just slept the whole journey. I think it really helped me feel better the whole day yesterday.

And Jenny just plonked a cup of something liquid and hot on my table.

“What’s this?”

“It’s for your throat.”
“Oh. Orh, thanks!”
*Jenny sits back to seat**I take a peek at the drink. Hoping it’s not coffee cos I don’t drink coffee. Now come to think about it. Coffee’s not really for the throat is it? HAHA. Oh lookeehere…it’s LEMON HONEY!!! AHHH. Jenny’s da BOMB! WOO**
“Thanks so much Jenny!”
“No problem.”

I think she may feel a tad guilty for passing germs to me. Poor Jenny. YIKES. I hope she gets better soon. Coughing away…

I haven’t logged on to MSN while working for 2 days. I don’t want to start now anyways.

I need to type out notes from the meeting, which looks very menacing cos it looks so pro and the members all want the minutes so it all depends on me. WAHHH. 0.0 And after lunch, got to continue with the article search. Got my first draft of the summaries back. Need to make some changes.

Howells, let’s see what today will bring.

AND,

HAPPY 18th Birthday SEAN! (:
Singapore misses having a Sean Ang Hong Da on it’s land. NYAHAHAS.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

5th day of attachment

2008-11-25T15:22:00.002+08:00

In the morning, the meeting we prepared for commenced. Lay Hong and me had to arrange the tables and chairs cos the room we booked didn't have them. Yikes. We managed to make the room look meeting-ly. Then I had to take down the minutes of the things discussed. Very interesting...but there was so many things that they wanted but there's not enough resources I guess. Haiz. Refreshments was nice. Especially when I still feel a bit flu-ey and teh tarik was so sedap. Just like how it's supposed to taste. (:

Today, had lunch with Jenny, Sook Ching, Lay Hong, Dennis and one other Guidance Officer. Then, a teacher from Geylang Methodist joined us. He was there for training. There was a loooot of stuff to be said by them. WOO it's just interesting to sit in and listen to them back n forth. Sook Ching is so cute and funny. HAHA she makes me laugh a lot. And there are some stuff which they ask me not to bring back to my friends cos it's kinda "bad image" but it's kinda the truth too. Then they'll say "You did not hear that ah!" haha...

So I sent in my first draft of summary and now I have to finish typing out minutes for the notes, do article search for curriculum infusion & integration and get back the drafts and see what I need to do. Work gets tougher but I really learn a lot. (:

After work, met with MJI cos they finished their picnic/bday bash at Botanic Gardens. Called Jannah. Didn't know where they were going cos they just exited the place. Called Fazari. Next time, I should really NOT call Jannah cos she just follows them. WaHHAH. Jannah ALWAYS does not know where they're going. So I told Fazari to go Wheelock place but they missed the stop so I met them at McCafe at Lido. Just sat a while and chatted for around an hour. Farouk, Fazari, Azrul, Jannah, Musfirah, Wida, Munirah and Siti. They ordered some drinks but I wanted to save money. HAAH. And I wanted to go home early cos tomorrow there's work still + I'm a bit sick + didn't want to miss Maghrib. It was nice seeing them after not seeing them for so long. Got used to seeing them on weekdays.

Tomorrow's OGL camp and I can't go. NYAH!

I feel better today from the flu. But Dennis and Jennifer who sits in the cubicles in my section are all passing around the virus. WAHHHH... so I drank plenty of water and equipped myself with Strepsils Vit C and I drank the Vit C that mum bought from the Homeopathy clinic. WOO. I hope I'll be safe. I ALWAYS am the one of the first to get sick. HAIZ...

5/14
3/8

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
gooey inside huh?

thoughts thoughts thoughts

2008-11-25T14:27:00.004+08:00

am i strong or am i weak?

some kind of wonderful...

oh this is just so lovely...

lingering thoughts
lingering thoughts

happy happy day.

:D

4th day of attachment.

2008-11-24T16:16:00.002+08:00

i'm tired.
i'm sleepy.
i feel sick.

Pamela just called and said that the Ex-INCrowders are invited to join the annual end of year trip and this time it's to KL. It costs S$400. I just want to go for the company. I've seen KL in and out. THE STAR would most probably be like the ones that we saw in Bangkok and Beijing. Nya... I want to gooo but we're not subsidised anymore. I'm working but I'm not getting paid. I want to get a laptop. I shouldn't go. But I want to go. But Liyana's not going anyway. AH I shouldn't go. I've been to KL millions to times. So. What else is there to see is there? The schools? I know what they're like.

I want to ask for early leave. I want to sleep...but I gotta cut these name placards. Well then, I guess it's good that I'm just doing manual labour, which doesn't require the use of my brains...

**ahh my mucus turning to a sickly colour**

sheesh my cubicle below the aircon..nyaaa.

ok so what good and nice and happy things happened today?

1.My mentors brought me to Botanical Gardens' foodcourt to eat. One of them lent me her Civil Service card so I got 10% discount of food.

2. Someone complimented my dress. Love it. The last time someone complimented my top was my Lit teacher, John, in Cambridge, UK. WAHAH. Never had a man say that my top was unique and nice. HAHA... must be the English people. Or must be my horrible dressing sense? No actually I think I dress well enough. haahahaha.. howells, it is nice to be complimented. It is nice to give out compliments. I don't think I'd shy away from complimenting my friends or sometimes, close teachers but an acquaintance... I don't usually do that. HAHA. And I don't compliment people so that people can compliment me.

Oh it's 6pm already. I can leave now. But I think I'll finish up this post. NYAHAS.

3. I was introduced to the Deputy Director. She's niiice. They're all very caring here and very nurturing.

HAHA.

One of my mentors, Jenny just asked me if I've considered a degree in Teaching and I said, " Well it came across my mind." and she replied, "Don't think!"

"What do you mean? You mean, just do it?"
"Yes, but for your age, hrmm.. ok la think la"

Seriously though, there is a shortage of Teachers out there. I remember in Secondary school, Sec 2 especially, our class kept having relief teachers it was so frustrating.

Still, the teaching career has become much more dynamic now. There's a lot of opportunities to grow. (: But a large part of my family are teachers. And 2 are becoming lawyers and one wants to go into the medicine after NS.

Gosh gosh, so many options... what to do what to do?

And erm, one of the Specialists thought I was a teacher, and Jenny thought I was J2. WOOAHH. Actually, am used to it. HEE HEE.

Ok.

4/14
2/8

Let's go home now Safiah...long train ride, no seat, sick, wants to read book. Aww....

Well at least I'm not starving today (:
And I feel better than when I first started blogging.

I think I will blog about WHAT I do for my attachment soon since so many people are asking. And. I have ideas ideas ideas. WOOTS. Better write them down soon.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
still strong

1/8

2008-11-23T22:15:00.002+08:00

Murderous crow, hey what you know
What you reading about, what you hold in your toes
Is that a twig, are you a dove of peace
A black dove undercover, with another puzzle piece
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all

Only human
Made of flesh, made of sand, made of you and me

~ Only Human by Jason Mraz

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Office cubicle today

2008-11-20T13:25:00.003+08:00

Woo much better. N today i brought my muesli bars, chocolate bars n biscuits. M waiting for my mentors to brief me 4 nxt assignment cos i finished 2 slots earlier.
Oh mentors... Where r yous.

Called Sade during lunch. Some people just r 2 childish. Dont worry much k, some people change but let's hope they change some more.
For the good this time. N i love you. :)

K. Can't wait for gng home time. Tee hee.

I guess i could start the next assignment on my own...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
(Blogged w/phone)

Office cubicle yesterday

2008-11-20T13:25:00.001+08:00

Everything was everywhere n disorganized n messy.

Attachment Day 1

2008-11-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

Woo.

Had to reach at 8.30am. Got out of house at 7.15am.

Reached quite early but cos I got lost... so I reached just on time... kept walking and walking, passing Borders, all the rich ppl's houses and then... TEACHER'S NETWORK. YAY YAY YAY. Haha.. Though, erm, Sean's directions didn't help much. Nyahaha. nevermind, i forgive you. Cos you just kinda woke up.

So, first assignment, READ what Mental Health and Social Emotional Learning is all about. So that at the end of the week, I can summarise it and they can put it in the Holistic Health Toolkit. NYAHAHAS... Somehow, reading it all, I felt that I have seen all the content somewhere before. All these about taking care of your mental and emotional health.

Also, there was a case study.. HAHAHAH. It was very coincidental and all that. I have my own cubicle. YAY! and my own computer. YAY! and my own telephone... but I don't use it.

Office location is quite... far from cheap food places. Colleague says cafeteria not nice so she brought me to Nasi Padang at River Valley. Her name is... *drumroll**** SITI SAFIAH!!! ahahahaha... wahhaha. I've met a Siti Safiyah before. She's working there but cos she's the youngest so she thought we could get along together. I guess first days are usually the quietest? But I guess I got the feeling that we can't really click. HAHA. Though she works in admin and I work more closely with the psychological resources part. So we don't work together.. ho humm. But she showed me Great World City, which is kinda 'great'.

After lunch, did Excel stuff...Ctrl + F is my best friend today. WHOOP DE DOOP. But I was so hungry the whole time I was sitting in that office cubicle. Is it me? or is the office? or is it the fact that I was sitting so still. How could I get hungry? I didn't even do that much right? Besides sitting still and doing work?

So, I am quite happy that I only have 2 weeks of this. If this is my real job I think I may want to cry. Unless I have a stash of chocolates/old chang kee curry puffs, then I would be happy. I was thinking of the Cadbury Boost I left in my fridge and how I wished I brought it along with me. Oh and the Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar.... I'll bring it tomorrow. GOSH me ah..Oh and I would need those osim massage chairs. Or one for the head. WOOTS.

But my mentors are all very nice. Though one of them said, "Thank you sooooo much for coming in. We really need help around here". I was kind of scared at that. HAhA. But then, my cubicle neighbour said, "No lah, don't worry, we will sayang her." hahah so cute.

But they really look busy. They were rushing in and out of the office.

Also, I was too caught up wanting to finish one section of my collating stuff that I didn't realise EVERYONE in the office was gone except me. And ALL the lights and aircon were turned off except my part. WAHHHH. So I hurriedly packed my stuff and switched off the computer. GOSH. Kind of scary when it's all dark...

YEEKS

ok anyways, I'll send the pic of my cubicle frm my phone. Toodles.

I'm really tired cos I had an empty stomach and it was cold and then it was raining outside so I got even colder and THEN i think I DID stretch some when but it wasnt enough.

Haiz...

1/14

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
needs a massage... and snacks and snacks and snacks

Blogged with the Flock Browser

stamina! marathon

2008-11-16T23:14:00.004+08:00

Lectures are all finished.

Somehow, it's okay that we didn't finish in time for all the topics for Econs that we were supposed to finish before 2009 started.

And.

Recap on what I've been doing.

8 November, Saturday

Early morning, took 8 all the way to Toa Payoh. Nice to remember the route all the way to Cedar. Then had the Tea Session for Camp Vivant. Only Meridian. NYEH. Very interesting things discussed. Had Old Chang Kee munchies.

Then, went to meet Sean and Amirah for lunch at the T2 Staff Canteen at Airport. Though they were studying for A levels. Then Zikri came... haha brought Nasi Lemak, forgot to bring it with him, asked his dad to bring it. Haha...funny.

Then, bought Shafiq's present: files, cos his papers are always everywhere and went to Jannah's house for Fried Mars Bars, movie marathon and Shafiq's "surprise" party with MJI. Oh he's at Dubai now. I wonder how he's enjoying himself. We didn't see him off but I think we're gonna greet him when he returns. Anyways, it wasnt really that much of a surprise cos he already saw the candles and the nice things we made cos he snooped around in the kitchen. The class saw him do tt, ok at least the MJI part of 08A301, and I just wanted to scream but I couldnt take it so I went in to the room nearest the kitchen, Jannah's room and SCREAMED into the mattress. Jannah and Fazari were already there I think. GOSH. Jannah's mum's laksa is nice. Photos are from Jannah... as usual.

from left: Jannah, Wida, Shafienas, Siti, Me, Nadirah, Munirah, Azrul, Shafiq, Farouk (back) and Fazari.

2nd round of Fried Mars Bars... it's really nice when the inside is all melted and the outer covering is still crunchy and the ice cream is still not so melted. Yups.

SHAFIENAS FRYING MARS BARS... it's like frying bananas... i mean.. pisang goreng like tt.. ahha.

The rest of the class made this. I just bought the presents. AND whoever made the card... it's reallly nice! Cos Shafiq's going to Dubai for his Global Immersion Programme so... it's really fitting. HAHAH and when we surprised him, he act cute only. BWEKS.

10 November, Monday

I made engraved toast for breakfast. NYAHAHAs. WITH Ya Kun Kaya Toast. NYAHA...
oh then I ate with Shafienas at BBQ Chicken on the hot pink sofas. Gosh this seems like ages ago.

11 November, Tuesday

felt upset

12 November, Wednesday

rushed, cried. fell.

13 November, Thursday

Came too early for lectures. Lectures started at 10.25. So. HAHA had breakfast. So spontaneous. Was drizzling.

14 November, Friday

Back aches. OW OW OW.
Whole day was movie day.
Shakespeare in Love for Literature.
Children of Brothel for Urban Geog lecture.
Then some of them went to watch Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham... is it spelled like that? O.o while I went home, took forty winks because was really tired and sleepy and then dad sent me and Ilhan to Najihah's. Sabrina, Nadiah and Farah were already there since 1.30 and I think I reached home only at 1.30pm. So, they bought snacks and drinks and I had lunch and fed Ilhan his lunch. THEN we started watching MY GIRL instead of GOONG. Which is allright cos I've been wanting to watch MY GIRL since after Os but the first 4 episodes were missing cos Najihah's cousins on the other side borrowed it. SO it was really allright, the show is nice. Watching it back to back with my girl cousins are nice. But we didn't stay up the whole time. We watched from 3pm to 1am on the first day and then the next morning, had Macs breakfast delivery and started back at 10am. It was done only at 10pm with all the NGs and bloopers which is really cute.

I invited Amirah and Kak Noi but they're not really into these type of activities. Anyway, the aunts and uncles ended up dropping by and Mak Chor ended up watching a large part of it too. Sabrina and Farah had to leave for some parts cos of music but it's allright cos they watched it already last year. And we had to take breaks off for solat and lunch and all and we ended up playing the piano and sometimes I took the guitar to play. Me and Naj tried to do a "Better In Time" by Leona Lewis, she piano, me vocals but it didn't really fit. The chords ahhah.. but it was really nice. It was a real success, this thing. ALL COS OF ME. NAYAHHAHA.. okok. WAHAH.. really serious... I thought of it. And they all wanted it and kept bugging me when the marathon would be held.

Then, my mum learnt some Korean. I LOVE YOU is SARANG HE YO.. which we all Korean freaks know a long time ago..but only after one minute, she said... "Bang, sayonara" cos she wanted to say it to my father. AHHAAHAAHAHHA.... We all burst out laughing. Everyone in the house.... "Sayonara", that's Japanese, and it means farewell. AHHA I think even my dad knew that then he said "Sarang burung lah" AHHAHHHHA... which is "bird nest" in malay. Sarang means...nest. NYEHAH.. my family my family....

But throughout, I was real tired but I didn't wanna sleep. HAHA.. cos I didn't wanna miss any of the parts.

Plus, kinda realise how some parts of my life is like a Korean drama huh? hahaha... yes yes life is weird. *BIG WINK**

*hee. pauses to smile, yes it is tiring taking care of bro, but it is a good type of tiring you know?**

and, I think I got like, TEN books to read.

Sean said he has to enlist on 11 Dec. I wonder when Azmi's gonna enlist. Well, yeah that's very very very soon... haha.. Makes me think... I remember one point of time not so long ago, when I viewed NS like so very far away from me.. like, I only saw it when Ayah Chor went for reservice, when my teachers went for reservice, when Abang Hatta enlisted when I was only in primary school? I thought it was such an adult thing, only adults did it. But now that the people around me are going NS, I think again... is it that I'm the one who's growing up, becoming an adult too or is it that they're the young ones, going in an adult world... yeah it's very fast.. In Secondary school, there was the anniversary of NS. Then, Straits Times did a special on it. There were all the interviews, the flashback of what the uniforms look like now, the different divisions, the stories about the scary officers. Even before this, there were the ghost stories told in primary school... NS is like... haha.. fascinating. Now, I wonder when the rest of the j2s gonna enlist.

Haiz...

What will happen what will happen... i dunno...

Well.. the week seemed reallly long. And I'm really forgetful I can't remember what happened in my week so I need to recap. Weeks seem long to me nowadays. Is it cos school's over? FINALLY? don't think so... since I'm in JC, Weeks are looong.

Ok now,

TO DO LIST:
~~Korean Drama Series Marathon~~

oh because of this, I proposed to Naj that we go take Korean language classes.
NAYHAHAA. Since we were already spewing out some words.

Room Makeover
Relearn J1 Content
Read Shakespeare's Othello and King Lear. and if have time, Romeo and Juliet (out of syllabus but still, it's nice)
BUY PLANNER (or should I deco again? arrgs traumatising)
Learn SYF piece till the end
Attachment
Guitar Camp
Orientation
Spend as much time as possible with the people I love. (:
Watch more Korean movies/series. AHHHH hahaha..
Watch more movies lah...
Read finish all those books
Learn more songs to play on guitar. (SIDENOTE: Get a Capo. Gosh, Elliot was supposed to get for me and now I can't get it)
Oh. Exercise more. Yupps. (:

I really feel accomplished and efficient lately. NYAHAHA.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
Sarang he yo !
boku mo aisheteru (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

drew my thoughts with childhood crayons

2008-11-12T23:50:00.001+08:00

wax crayons, very therapeutic.

so are tears.
and BIG BANG. (just had to say that didn't I. tee hee)
and falling.
falling hard where it hurts is kinda nice.
feeling pain where it doesn't really matter is kind of nice.
yeesh, i sound psycho...

songs that say what your mind wanted to say?
songs that say what your heart can't?

just what a coincidence...
maybe we can all learn from songs huh?
maybe songs were created as a audio guidebook to life, way ahead of it's time...

hrmm

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Sunset Glow

2008-11-12T23:41:00.001+08:00

I hope they make this into their MV.
And when I read the English translation of Foolish love, it's sad and there's reference to stuff that makes pain go away temporarily, eg: weed, smoking, alcohol, etc.. But there's a nice storyline. So I will be looking forward to more MVs. NYAHAHAs..

And I feel like buying their album but do not know where... hrmm maybe I'll check HMV like what Tara suggested. I wish Artbox sold it too, since they're Korean. Gosh I feel like Korean Invasion, cos on Monday, I ate at Korean's No. 1 Chicken Restaurant, BBQ Chicken at EHub with Shafienas with all the hot pink sofas. We purposely wanted to sit at the hot pink sofas. NYAHA.. The food is really nice. I've been making use of a lot of student meals lately cos fast food is just... too... boring and unhealthy already. Oh plus, BBQ Chicken uses only Olive Oil to fry and grill so HEALTHY! hahaha...and it's Halal la duhh... so gogogo! And I keep going Artbox. HAHA! Move over Japs, Koreans are all taking over. NYAHAAHs. Well at least in my world.. ho humm... well actually, was never really that into Jap stuff too. Tee Hees...

Big Bang- Foolish Love

I'm not like fanatical crazy over Big Bang la.. I don't do tt. I only reserve it for Taufik Batisah but seriously if Big Bang came to town, I think I would like to see them too xD

and I've really been wanting to by something from Fila, maybe a good strong bag for school but the designs now are not nice. AND THEN, news of Big Bang doing some designs for Fila. Quote: " There are also plans to release FILA Big Bang limited edition items to be released in mid-December." WAHAH. Gosh... amazing how some things click together. But me am just able to hope hope hope that the collection would come to Singapore because they look kinda rawking too. =D

Photoshoot:

I like 1:48 cos Tae Yang asked: "Can I hug you" haahah that part was sweet. The girl's cute.

And though the song, Sunset Glow SOUNDS happy... I checked the English translation and it's really actually very sad too. It's kind of makes me feel empty how the video is happy but the meaning of the song is sad it just really changes things. HAHA or maybe it's just me.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
faith

Blogged with the Flock Browser

True. Raw. Whirlwind.

2008-11-11T23:25:00.003+08:00

Listening to Haru Haru... somehow, I really like how it sounds, especially when you're feeling kinda low.

I told Muhaina a lot of things.
She's the only one who knows everything.

All my ramblings. Even though I didn't really like to talk to her about our religion cos I know who she is. Still, she's the most solid ground I have right now. Cos Shahini is somewhere in Limbo.

And it's weird how... everyone has problems all at the same time. It's weird how everything happens all at the same time. It's weird how some of them find me all at the same time. It's weird.

Right now, a lot of people want me to talk to them but I just want to be alone. But because there is this thing called love, I shall overlook this matter and call the hurt person now. Well maybe after this. Hrmm...

Haiz...
I guess that's what true love is huh?
I guess that's what true volunteering is about.

When you don't really see any benefit for yourself. When you don't think that it can even bring you happiness. When you can only see that by helping that person, you'll help that person and that will make the person feel better. Even though you really feel low. Because you know, that person really needs your help. Even if by helping that person, it will really not bring any good to you, or any bad. It just... is like that. That's what's been kinda in my head since the Tea Session for Camp Vivant! Which I'm not sure I will go to even if I get accepted in. Because I need to spend time with my family. I need to give them one month of my time from the rest of the 11 that the school took from me, that the ministry took from me.

And then, even more, I've begun to think about what true love is. I never really thought about it, I kinda just accepted it as what it was. They always say that a mother's love is always true. Well for most sane mothers. But I never really understood why. I guess it's cos a mother really really never thinks about herself. Even if it's the last thing she'd rather do for her family, she'll still do it if it's for the benefit of her family. I guess that's what I am beginning to learn. Even though I'd rather hang out with my friends till late, spend the whole day/ night online talking to some people, I would have to entertain my brother, take care of him, make him happy. Even though it does make me smile when I see him smile, it gets tiring when I come home really tired or just want time alone, really just want time alone. Even though I have no mood.

I guess my other brother is beginning to learn that too. I can see the change in him. He used to always think about himself. I used to argue with him to be more selfless, think about other people more. It's not that I'm perfect but just.. it's harder for guys to accept. Furthermore, for him, he was the baby of the house for 14 years and now there's a newcomer. I was the only child for only two years and I don't even remember what that felt like. He was the one who got to be manja for all his life. So he took a longer time to adjust.

See? Everything happens for a reason.

But I'm thankful cos I remember how I asked God everyday, every prayer time for another sibling. I didn't know why I wanted one. I think, even with my brother around, it got lonely. Cos we were growing apart. I'm thankful cos Ilhan brought the whole family together. We learnt how to be stronger. We learnt how to be selfless. I learnt how to sacrifice for Ilhan. It's really wonderful how he came into our life. I still remember the shock when my mum told me the news. How I was so happy I couldn't believe it but I was so thankful. So thankful I wanted to cry. I never till now, I never regret having a baby brother this late in my life. The gap is big, yes. I get mistaken for his mother sometimes, yes. But he is my training course. He prepares me for when I have mine in the future, insya'allah.

**Break to call***
gotta put aside this feeling for a while.

OOOOOHHHH.
BIG BANG GOT NEW ALBUM NEW ALBUM!!!

Oh gosh. Man, seriously, the last time I felt so excited when any artiste came up with a new album to was Taufik Batisah. Anyways, acoustic acoustic acoustic version of Haru Haru... this means... CAN PLAY ON GUITAR>>>>>>> aaaahahah.

ok obviously I'm kind of happy now. Nyahah....

Big Bang- Haru Haru (Acoustic Version)

I guess, it's how the songs make me feel. Anyways, I just don't like the rap part, the original sounded better for that right?

Big Bang- Sunset Glow [붉은노을] MV

This is so cute. HAHAHA. And happy happy happy.

ooh and xtina, shuttup. I chased after her, fell, n i think tmr i will have a big bruise on my face and hips so don't think like, tailong beat me up or something. Though tt would be v nice... like exciting huh? "oooh i got into a fight cos I was being gangster girl" HEHEHE...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
(: don't worry

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Fooood is Gooood

2008-11-07T18:46:00.003+08:00

YAYYYYY!

I'm thankful for technology..
WOOTS WOOTS WOOTS.

Going to finish watching Gossip Girl Season 1 and am going to start on MY GIRL episode 1.

Even though day was crappy at first cos of some people, args, yeah but it had a happy ending. (:

Ate at Eighteen Chefs at East Point with Shafienas, Nadirah, Siti, Munirah and Wida. Gosh. We took 12 and overshot by one stop. And kinda realised we took the wrong bus to go to EP but cos Nas is always the Lady Boss so we just followed her. 'Cos we overshot one bus stop. We were supposed to stop at Shafiq's stop and we overshot that. Then Shafienas realised and said "Aren't we supposed to stop already?" but cos we were kindof stoned, in a way, and dazed, due to the heat, everyone was, "huh? really?". Then she said, "YEAP WE'RE SUPPOSED TO STOP HERE. GET DOWN GET DOWN!" haha. Gosh

Had to walk under the hot sun all the way to EP. Walked under the block as much as possible. Most of us were cranky, silent or plain crappy cos we were just so hungry. HAHA. So wanted aircon and a place to sit down and FOOD ASAP. Haha...

And the service was non-existent when we got there cos there was no service charge. Ok lahh.. not bad, a lot of times we had to self service, like taking our orders, taking the knives and spoons. And, waiting time was not bad too, not that long. There was free refill of ice water... All of us ordered Cheese Baked Rice with different sauces and toppings. Mine was Cheese Baked Rice with Creamy White Sauce with toppings of Chicken Sausage, Vegetables and Pan Grilled Fish. The third topping came free cos there was a promotion. Also, cos we were students, it all came with ice cream and ice lemon tea at a price of $5.15+$2(cos of extra topping). YAYYAYAYA. I'm still full even though we ate at around 2pm.

VERDICT: I LIKE IT AND WOULD RECOMMEND IT.
NEXT: Fig & Olives, 2Hot Halal Cafe, Eatzi, that Sushi place beside Ramen Ten (50% of all sushis after 8.30 PM, or stg), and all Halal eating places I haven't tried yet. Nyahahhaa. But, easy on the money.

Oh, we also met Nurin, Lyana, Zahirah and Sarah there too. Haha...the place was full of students and the place had special meals for nurses too, cos EP is near Changi General Hospital... good thinking.. ho ho. It's a very students place.

N I tried a Pie Kia pie.... not bad! The pies were all selling for $1 but Sabrina and me didn't want to eat a meal there cos the soup/salad was too expensive if we wanted a meal. The soup sounds tempting though.

Watched Quantum of Solace with her yesterday and finally ate the Fishball Noodle at Food Culture for lunch... i miss it a lot cos I haven't eaten it for so loooong. She ate Tom Yum Noodle. Been a long time since I tried that...ahha next on the list. (: Quantum of Solace, another James Bond movie. This is the first time where I willingly sat down to watch a James Bond movie from start to finish. Action without intellect is not really my kind of thing. Bond just killed of all the bad guys that could actually help if questioned. And he kind of was led by revenge. Also, he's not even that charming. His seducing method was like... "bleagh" haha. Like. err? -.- ok no, more like... LAME. ahaha...

BUT the special effects was nice, especially when they had action scenes when they were falling. Initially, Bond and some guy was falling from some construction structures. That was good. But I loved the one where Bond and the Tahitian girl fell from the aeroplane and they were trying to pull out the parachute. That was great effects.

Though the storyline really was ... ermm..

But I love the Lady Boss in charge too. She kinda rawks. HAHA...

And I guess, there's a lot we don't know and there's a lot that we don't know. Guess you just have to follow your intuition when something feels wrong... or right.

Tomorrow, got to wake up early early cos there's a Tea Session at Toa Payoh Hub for Camp Vivant!. I really hope I see some Meridians there. I absolutely do not know who else signed up for this thing. HAIZ. Guess, even if I'm the only Meridian, I'll survive, like I always do, like I always have been, like what I always do. I don't wait for others I guess and there's no time to be scared of doing things alone. You'll miss out on the good things. (: I've always got into good things applying for stuff on my own (: Like INcrowd, like the attachment, like Cambridge, like the talks I've been to. Haha. YEAH GO SAFIAH (:

Sheesh. I still haven't bought monthly contact lenses. Will buy tomorrow.

Oooh Yay! (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
satiated foodie (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

last final and that's that.

2008-11-07T01:07:00.001+08:00

well I guess I really have a lot of good friends/ true friends.
Thank you very much.
I love you all bunches of bananas.
Good friends would never let me do anything that would potentially hurt me. I guess, that's what some of them have been trying to tell me. I do realise this and really really appreciate it.

I just hope I can pull myself out in time if something happens. So it won't be so painful. So ya, don't dig too deep Safiah.
Don't ask.
Really.

That's that. I won't think about this anymore. It's settled. Really.
I can live.
Whatever happens.
Yupps.
I'm strong.

End of chapter: Frustations & Questions

*chuckles**

Blogged with the Flock Browser

a successful date... list + some movie parts

2008-11-07T00:09:00.002+08:00

SIDENOTE: I looooove my playlist too! (: But I think I'm going to take off Sephia by Sheila On 7. It gives me the chills. BRR

1.
Whee... finally finally finally after a looong time, and wanting to have a one-on-one date with Sade, cos needed to talk to her, finally finally, we went to Swensens' yesterday and had ice cream. And finally finally, she met Ilhan cos she went home with me. Then we played guitar in my room and we lay on the bed just talking. It's been a long time since I felt so girlfriend-ish doing girlfriend stuff, saying girlfriend things. Haiz. I haven't transferred the pics yet. Sade was so happy to see Ilhan... ahha. It took him quite some time to warm up to her cos he just woke up. But he started sputtering all his makcik baby talk like he understood us all perfectly, hrm... I don't doubt that he does. He's really smart. HAHA..

My baby brother ah... he only smiles AFTER the flash goes off. HAHAHA. But he gives the sweetest smile. And kids these days.. they KNOW that after you take a picture, you can see it on the screen after it's been taken. He'll laugh at it like it's the funniest thing in the world. HAHA.. like seeing his face in the screen just cracks him up like that.

And we swung on the swings...
Some moments... you just want to keep forever and you just want to close your eyes and wish that there was a recording gadget that could record that moment, cos, it just brings a smile to your face.

I at Cookie Summit with Sadelena and I LOVE IT (:
haha... yays..

Haiz... some moments.

2.
hee...
collage!
decorate decorate decorate...

haiz..
holidays will never start
and school will never be over

I think, deep inside me, there's a movie producer/director/graphic designer/interior designer. NYEH... haiz... I just don't know what to do with them. And they are all so underdeveloped.

I always wanted to go to a flea market.
and random free things.
Yeah it's my philosophy: you don't need money to have fun. nyahaas.

I want to watch:

Princess Bride
When Harry Met Sally (msg to Salomah: you don't need Ramlee, you can find a Harry! hahaha)
The Notebook
My Girl (korean drama series)
Romeo & Juliet (version Leonardo di Caprio)
The Holiday
The Day The Earth Stood Still (coming soon and starring KEANU REEVES!!! YAYAAYAY! Fav fav actor)

oh n this feels random---
When I was young, I loved watching Pocahantas, Casper and My Girl (the movie). Casper and My Girl especially... they were so sad...and... there was a genuine love parts and there was a lot of crying part. I cried for Pocahantas too. HOHOHO. My Girl is really saaaad. nyaha.

There was this quote from Casper, I find it real cute..."If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever? " and so innocent...

man this feels like a movie post..

My favourite movies of all time:

50 First Dates
Speed
Miss Congeniality
A Walk To Remember
Lake House (even if it was a "remake" of a Korean one, i still love it cos it's the second movie where Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock played the leads. I love seeing them both together so much)
oh...I AM LEGEND

I bet there's more but I FORGOT or something. nyahah okok.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
hello there Guardian Angel...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Untitled

2008-11-05T01:50:00.001+08:00

I never thought of it before.
I'm reading back all my archives.
My life is a pattern sometimes...
or rather, the things that happens to me come in the form of a pattern.
I think I was the same throughout. It wasn't me, it was the people around me and how they reacted to me..
And...

yeah, my life is exciting. Always was, has been, is and will be.

Why?
Cos I put in en effort to make it so. (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
when I just can't fall asleep because reality is so much better than dreams

Blogged with the Flock Browser

red is always hot

2008-11-05T00:48:00.005+08:00

While having linner with Siti & Jannah.... some plans surfaced:

wake up early early, run in school, freshen up, study geog and econs (for me) during holidays. by siti, jannah & safiah. anyone up for it? no holidays for us, surely.
warehouse sale updates by safiah
flea markets by siti
email update system by siti

MONDAY:

ATIQAH's BIRTHDAY!!! Happy Birthday Dudette. Gave her artbox cuecards...even tho her OP ended. NYAHA.. nvm can always use for next year. It's kinda funny how it was all last minute. And we played with sparklers. And Athirah came AFTER candles was blown out, bday song was sung, presents were given and asked "SITI, KAU NAMPAK SHAFIQ?" when Shafiq, organiser of the surprise was there and so was bday girl too. HEH. FARNIE. We lighted up the whistling sparklers in front of bio lab area and took piccs there.

Honestly. That day, I felt tired and was being a bit OUT, but still.... had fun. I hoped everyone enjoyed themselves. (:

Then, it was back to OP presentations...

Felt kinda of "waa-eld" (sade's word) cos it was last day we were all together. I took a lot of videos of everything. I'm more of a vid kinda girl but vids take a loooong time to upload. There's one where Gary was memorising his lines, there's one where we were all stuck in the room doing the IT dry run and everyone got crazy and Elliot was dancing away like crazy and tried to seduce Farshad at one point of time... I guess I'll just miss the times where our class was so busy doing work with other classes too and we all bonded and crap happended and Miss Rai always brought potato chips ( the one pre-oredered in bulk for Hari Raya ) to class and gave it to us)

TODAY, 041108
OP ENDED

YES YES YES..
First speaker of first group of the afternoon session and it was aaaaalll okay. Haiz. Tiring. Breaks in between. Plus, was perfect nap timing and for the rest of the OPs, where had to sit for student audience, felt so sleepy and hungry. Siti just kept turning her head and got scolded by the assessors. Elliot's group handled all the moderators well but din't acknowledge them! Nvm... but I felt the group that wasn't in our class... their presentation method didn't really sit well with me...hrmms. Too playful I guess...

I was trying to read a book. The guys played World or Warcraft... heh. Denise... was...playing with her laptop and Siti.. was obviously reading Cleo... and she spoke out loud all the wrong story titles. TSK.

I think THIS is why I look like BJ from Barney & Friends...it's the eyeeees. Or something. HEH.

Then we went to Solat & I persuaded the girls to date me for linner (lunch + dinner ) cos was soo hungry...and had some IDEAS... Told them to take pic, highlighting the red parts of our socks. Jannah's colour accent rocksss hahaah.

we rock our sockkkksss!!

We are so patriotic for our house. EH Pak Wahid/ Dol, do this for some advertisement for colloseum or something! haha..perassan. okok.. I liked how it turned out though. (:

And THIS. haha.. so (RED) campaign! Nyaha..

I arranged the stuff. Shafiq took the pic But Sean said it's kinda complicated cos too many things...hrmm yeah now I think about it... BUT it still looks like an ADVERT aaand...the RED things innit are!

1. Me&Jannah's socks
2. Jannah's red bubble tea straw
3. Jannah's pink watch strap
4. My Minnie Mouse bag (lettering and inside of straps)
5. My Spectacles
6. My Handphones
7. My badly-in-need-of-a-wash Converse shoes
8. Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson, book (zoom in and her lips are red toooo)

WOO HOOO NIIIICE

Dunno why felt so Fashion Editor today (nyahaha perassan) but good good burst of "creativity". WOO.

I wanna eat at Pie Kia one day! (:
and...
err..
Fig&Olive!
all the places that we are all supposed to go eat at

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me through thick and thin. (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

hmm

2008-11-03T19:11:00.002+08:00

i think i have a very slow reaction.

if i was a metallic element i'll be at the lower part of the metal reactivity series (i think)...

cos, i think, it is still sinking in. and it's kinda overwhelming. I'm okay really allright?

and...

you know what?
i keep forgetting the effects of chocolate.

ooo. yumm.

the warmth just spreads through your soul. yummz.

especially when it's cadbury boost. HAHA!

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
like finally! haha...tsk

Blogged with the Flock Browser

places i want to go

2008-11-02T22:57:00.001+08:00

An Siang Hill
Haji Lane
The Central
Holland Village

yupps! ;D

oh and me thinks the sleepover will happen very soon. yay cuzzins! (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
but it is real

Blogged with the Flock Browser

(:

2008-11-01T01:02:00.001+08:00

i love my GFs.
i love love love my GFs.

Let's do GF stuff together ok babes. HAHAH.

I LOVE my GFs even if sometimes, PMS gets in the way....

haha (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

cheorography&cinematography

2008-10-30T00:45:00.001+08:00

Nyehh i only put the videos all here so that I don't need to go look for them back in youtube. I know you can Favourite them all but, I can just dump them all here and see which one I like.

ANYWAYS, another Big Bang Lies Remix, with a different cheorography which... I LIIIKE. ahhaha.. okok. (: yes and the cinematography is nice too as said by Sean.

HAha... Big Bang just makes you want to dance. They dance it well enough so all you have left is just to bang your head and tap your feet on the bus... hrmm maybe just tap your feet. BUT when you're walking beside a friend like Jannah, you can dance, a bit. HAHA. BUT she asks me "Safiah why you're so happy?" and I say "I'm not happy! ermm... not like happy dance happy, just there's a para-para song stuck in my head and you just got to dance it off till it's gone."
NYAHA. (:

Ok anyways...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

It's a VERY day, lovely

2008-10-29T23:14:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, watched High School Musical 3 with Shafienas, Jannah, Shafiq, Fazari and Siti. Was so last minute. OP finished at 12.30pm. Had to do some photoshoot for intro slide lasted till 12.50pm. Shafienas and Nadirah already went to buy tickets first. The rest of us left school at 12.55 for a 1pm movie. So we decided to cab to Ehub. Managed to persuade taxi driver to squeeze 5 of us in. One person just paid 90 cents in the end. Funny thing was, we reached the ticketing counter BEFORE Shafienas. Nadirah went home already.

There were so many other schools there too.

We had to sit 2nd row. Was fine but images too near sometimes. Whole movie was fine. Some parts didn't make much sense for a movie. It made sense if it was real life. But it's not. This was a movie. The story line was kind of normal. BUT the whole costumes and singing parts were kind of wowz for me. And the company certainly made it more enjoyable. HAHA. At the end, as Siti kept pointing out, Fazari had put his hands together by the side of his face and batted his eyelids giving a sigh. So the whole day they kind of teased him. We went back to school by bus. Faz had all our ez-links cos we had to show the person behind the counter our ez links to prove to them we were students. Then he tapped it all for us and we went in the bus one by one.

The whole time after that was kinda crazy. We were trying to imitate some moves that happened during the musical. I did the balcony hop hop with Jannah, like Troy and Gabriella's scene. Outside E Hub, Jannah did a wave to a complete stranger. And in school, they were trying to slide down the railings the whole time. NYAHA. Crazy bunch of bananas.

Had to eat lunch in school to save the money we blasted on popcorn. All that was left was instant mee. :( Heh. Shafienas made everyone laugh so badly. I couldn't finish my mee. :o haah... but it was Tom Yum so I finished it in the end. I love Tom Yum. Yum Yum Yum.

Then we went for OGL briefing. Found out I'm in Group 6 for Camp and and will be posted to area outside Dhoby Ghaut MRT for probably 6 hours for MMM ,which is stg like Amazing Race, with Rehavan ,who did not come for the briefing. GRR. I'm supposed to come up with a proposal with this complete stranger by Friday and I got to find him by tomorrow. I also can't attend the OGL camp so saaad. But it'll be allright also, cos I have attachment. Anyways, Elliot is in Group 6 TOO YAYS.

Gosh, Elliot's cute. He was doing his part for OP, presenting and someone walks past. He saw the person and he started stuttering and stammering and dragged his time to 9 mins trying to regain his composure. GUESS WHO!?!? *nudge nudge wink wink* I wasn't there but I would have loved to have witness this whole scene. CLASSIC. Jannah told me about it. GOSH. Guess who goes GAGA over who. NYAHAHA. Elliot, elliot *shakes head*

Today, had the shooting for our OP MV. I was the pet groomer...

So the story is...Fazari-cat is a shabby cat. He sees Siti-cat but Siti-cat ignores him. So he becomes EMOcat and walks walks walks till he finds..... PET GROOMER!!! aka. ME. Then I do wonders cos PET GROOMING is WONDROUS and then...Fazari-cat becomes LOLcat and goes off in search of Siti-cat who now really LOOKS at him and they fall in love and HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Nyaha and it's a music video and there's a ton of songs inside like Beautiful Girls, Womanizer, Nothing in this World. Yupp I think that's it.

After shooting, went to meet Wen Juan and Alicia to head off to MOE HQ for briefing. Got to know them better in the MRT ride aaaalll the way to Buona Vista. Hot day today. Seriously. Found out that Alicia is in the SAME PHOBOS GROUP AS ME and BOTH of us CANNOT go for OGL camp while Wen Juan could. Wen Juan is an OGL too so ALL of us are OGLs. NYEH. Would be nice if attachment and camp din't clash. NYEH... Also, I'll be developing resources for Mental Health of students and working on the "Time Out" programme so I'll be learning more about delinquency and the mentally at risk. Yeah... very psychological. Everyday, for a period of 2 weeks (besides Sat & Sun of course) I will be going to Teacher's Network building which is the old RI building reporting at 8.30am (but knowing me, I better make it 8 am) and ending at 6pm (except Fridays, 5.30pm). Gosh hours are really long. BUT NEVERMIND! Why? Cos my office is in ORCHARD!!! Yessss. Near BORDERS!!! yay! haah At least, I'll be able to learn what if feels like working there. NIIICE. There's always a reason. Even though this division wasn't really my first choice, and even though this attachment wasn't really what I wanted ( I wanted Asian's Civilisation's Museum but got this one first so might as well...) it all turns out okay in the end. :) My mentor was nice. She asked me if I was okay with my choice cos she knew I didn't get any of my choices. Well, being a counsellor...of course she'd want to show concern for my mental health. HAHA. No, really I think she's nice and mumsy. (:

Ok Shafienas is really low cos the j2s are leaving soon and A levels are so near. Well... hohumm..

I like to make life easier. Seriously.

Oh AND finally, liking a new song which is NOT korean NYAAHHA...

Taylor Swift- Love Story

You know who introduced me to Taylor Swift? Tara Lynette Elliot. YO BABE! (: I'm fine thanks for asking!!! My PAE Class Chairperson. WAHAHAW! And, it looks like Pride & Prejudice right? The guy looks so like Mr Darcy but it so obvious that his hair and sideburns are fake. haha...Taylor Swift doesn't look like Elizabeth though. She looks like Jane. Very pretty.

Oh by the way, I GOT PROMOTED!!! YAY YAY YAY! Alhamdulillah, THANK YOU. I know so much that I've got to work harder. And they moderated the Geog marks I got an S grade from a U. So... hrmm.. yeah. No U in my report card. Good good.

Anyways, super duper happy thank you very much! (:

I passed by my senior and she was walking with her friend at the ramp from the atrium to the canteen. Then she saw me so I smiled at her and said, "All the best for your A levels!". She said thank you. Then we walked past each other but I could hear her friend complaining jokingly and my senior saying "Okay, I wish you all the best for A levels lah, happy?" to tt friend. Haha, so because I heard, I turned around and shouted "ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR A LEVELS TOO!!!" haha... even though I think we were already 3m away from each other. Her friend laughed. I laughed.

Yes the world looks very happy and fluffy today. NYAHAHA..even though the day felt very long.My I&R (insights and reflections) is good for submission and some people haven't even started cos they're waiting to finish OP first. I LOVE MY CT. And will be sad cos next year, our teachers are all different but nevermind. I'm still happy cos will still see her in school. :D :D :D

I love my classmates today. Seriously. Thank you.

Even though I really miss Atiqah (councillor) THANKS FOR THE V BELATED BDAY PRESENT THAT YOU CAN QUALIFY IT TO BE AN ADVANCED PRESENT!!! haha... just really, it's fate but I think if things were different, I'd be good buddies with Atiqah and Amalina instead. HAHA. Remembered how I helped them paste poster all over the school for rally. They deserve it truly..

OH AND THANKS AMALINA cos she told me, the FINALE is going to be at PASIR RIS PARK cos we're going to have a PICNIC there and there'll be a stage and all!!! ooh unless this plan flops (but I'm really hoping it won't cos it sounds AMAZIIIIING!!!) I've always been a nature type of person anyhways ya and I wanted to go for a picnic for the longest time. Hrm... the last time was... sec 2? Can't remember really...but anyways, it'll be lovely (:

Sorry if the language used today didn't really make sense. I'm just typing away... recklessly.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
You'll be the prince
and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby just say yes.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince International Teaser Trailer, Lies by Big Bang

2008-10-27T22:16:00.004+08:00

Nyehe... All I'm doing nowadays is just putting up videos eh? I'm too bothered to type what I feel. (:

Anyway, the cinematography looks amazing, as usual. There's an increasingly darker atmosphere. And the last bit is quite funny.

Hermione: *Snaps fingers* HEY! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the chosen one.
Harry: But I am the chosen one.
Hermione: *knocks Harry's head*
Haryy: Okay sorry...um..kidding *blinks blinks*

NYAHAHA. Male ego. Tsk tsk.

Ohkay and this is the third Big Bang song that I'm really into. LIES. (:

But increasingly, Majimak Insa (Last Farewell), Haru Haru (day by Day) and Lies are beginning to sound similar that it's all one big remix in my head. !!

I was kinda going *rolls eyes* when the guy pushed the girl away and smothered the dead guy's blood all over him so that it would make him appear the murderer instead. Corny lah... ahaaha.

Then, there's a remix! Wahahah... I'm spending way too much time watching Big Bang on youtube. Seriously....

Ok Shafienas says the class going to watch HSM 3 tomorrow and then, maybe I'll buy shoes at BHG's sale. If not, I'll wait for the end of year sale. And I think I'm going to get myself a new pencil case ! (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Haru Haru (Day by Day) by Big Bang

2008-10-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

Just try sticking to it. The first time I watched it, was kind of turned off because of the over use of rap and the proximity of the guys arguing with each other. Haha. But I didn't know the story. You just got to stick for a while to know the whole thing eh? But it's quite saaad. Reminds me of one MV which one SPH intern showed me in the bus on the way to some tourist place in China. But that was sadder I cried at that one. Oh man. I was so embarrased I had to hide myself. Yeeks. Sometimes, the feelings just get too uncontrollable and we can't think. We just let the feelings consume us. And sometimes, I feel better after letting it all out. But sometimes, when there's a need to cry, but I just can't, that's when sad movies/ music videos come in, and the Koreans do it the best. (:

This is the same song, but a different version. Also, I think this translation is better. But the first one has a better storyline.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

nyaha!

2008-10-25T22:23:00.001+08:00

{ / NURsafiah - - bu ry says:
can you download some songs for me?

shahini shairah says:
ok what

{ / NURsafiah - - bu ry says:
L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole

shahini shairah says:
WAH PIANG. I thought you wanted new songs.

{ / NURsafiah - - bu ry says:
xP
Anyways, also:
Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
Majimak Insa by Big Bang

shahini shairah says:
MAJIMAK
Malay ah?

{ / NURsafiah - - bu ry says:

WHAT!!
No. KOREAN!!!! SHAHINI!!!! Where got MAJIMAK in Malay? hahah GOSH ><

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Replies to Girlfriends

2008-10-22T23:14:00.003+08:00

TO SHAFIENAS:
This is hilarious. She scolded me in the morning, pulled me to her laptop and started lecturing me...all cos she wanted to know why I cried. NYEH. AND I thought I said something wrong in my blog. Like accidentally said something I wasn't supposed to. BUT NOOO She just wanted to tell me something nice. BUT actually subtly letting in on the fact that she's VERY THE KEPOH person but it's in her nature and she can't help it. And I won't change anything about that. LADY BOSS NAS is. ahaa

Anyways yes ok, Nas. Tomorrow lepak at Macs after OP dry run.

TO JANNAH:

YES BABE! I wanna shop for bags, clothes, bangles, 2009 planner (unless anyone wanna buy for me, I'm eyeing ARTBOX's planner or may have to do another one by DIY but got no time larhhh sheesh, still.... DIY is the best... $30 bucks for something u need everyday? Hrmm yeah kinda worth it though WHAHA) yes anway I wanna make a list of the places I wanna go to shop then we can all go jalan-jalan and shopping and have girls day out wearing something else BESIDES uniform and going shopping to places BESIDES White Sands mall. Okie DOkie. Wahah..

Shall talk to u online now. Whadduh. U tag me when I'm ONLINE. Bagoss darling. HAHHA.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

"let's see what this love can do"

2008-10-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

I don't think I can really control my tears anymore. So I shan't even try anymore. Sorry about that. There was really no need to cry actually. Logically.

I think T2 is the nicest terminal. It feels very compact and small and personal somehow. Hrmms. Still, so many things have changed about it. I haven't been there for so long... gosh. And haven't taken the sky train for a long time too. And I don't think I took the train before. Hrm yes I think I did. With Mdm Faridah from some Geog Weather talk at the airport in sec 4. Oooh now I remember that... I was the only one who signed up cos noone was interested and thought I was really the only one but Thendral was there too and the food was nice. But I didn't remember how the MRT station looked like...Somehow, nowadays, I see more, I notice more. Anyway, Crowne Plaza is reaaally nice and even though felt like an intruder going in there with Sean, wasn't really treated like one. Yes! The good service campaign thing is really working. Good job government! Unless... that person was really a foreigner.. *stares suspiciously*...

Actually finished I&R draft 1. Using computer at home very distracting....waha!

Today feels weird somehow. In the morning, I think it's one of the only times I felt really close with the WHOLE class. Shafienas was playing Don't Forget the Lyrics using Xavier's playlist and Elliot was the contestant. Can't help but burst out laughing even in the midst of all the PW. Especially when Elliot made a very Paris Hilton move, copying how she moved in the video of "Stars Are Blind" and singing "let's see what this love can do". That move will take a very long time to wipe away from my mind. NYAHA. And for the first time, found out that Denise is into Cosplay. Really really into it, sewing and buying her own costumes complete with wigs and all. I was really blown away today, by who my classmates are. Elliot can sing. Then, it got me singing. Haha. Was fun. Though, it kind of saddens me that we will not everyone of us, move up together...and the normal voices will not be there and that some of the hilarious antics will not be there. But...

Sectionals went well today, for the first time. I was really proud of myself and my section cos we were the first complete set to come down for practise. Figured out the fingerings with Yanti. Was having sore throat whole day, since yesterday so Strepsils have been a staple today. Yanti left at 4. So had 1/2 hour to go through the part we were supposed to play with Wei Jin, Wei Zhen and Song Yang. Counted so many "1-2-3-4"s so that they could get the beat proper. I think this is why I like being a section leader. I like rhythm and conducting. Thing is, I don't really look at technicalities sometimes, just follow the rhythm. Plus, figuring out the timings for each note takes a lot of brain power. The logical side. So I hope, I can be better at math and all the logical stuff that I should be able to do. Still remember my violin teacher saying that when you're good at reading music, you're supposed to be good at doing math. But I stopped doing music for a while. And when I did, I stopped being good at math. Gosh. Music is really good for you when you know how to read it. Like math, I think I need more practise. Yeesh.

Then the rest of the ensemble filtered in F4-1 and we played the "Dance of the Yao people" as one sound, one ensemble. My section was really lacking in manpower. 4/7 only. Crystal had PW and Sandra didn't come even though I saw her earlier and asked her if she was coming. Was waiting for her sms to tell me why she didn't turn up. Harrumph. Still am not getting any sms. But the combined practice sounded good. (: Quite satisfied. Just need to be more fluent with fingerings.

So throat is pain. Voice is half gone and tomorrow OP presentation at 7.45am. The world is at ease... ARGHS. Nevermind nevermind.... calm calm. (:

Well, a lot of the House Comm people are getting retained. Haiz.. retaining is not the end of the world... I think there should be a support group to ease those who are being retained. Then, the theme song can be Daryl's Retainee song. Whaha.. but seriously, is there a group? Hrmm I shall look around in the net.. I'm not making a joke at this though, yes some may feel that they're wasting one year but still, time spent on education is never time wasted and it may be for the best in the end... (: Cheer up people... worse things happen allright. Don't cry too much... Live your life!!!

I should really sleep...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

pretty things

2008-10-21T00:47:00.002+08:00

These are so very very pretty. GOSSHH...

Starting from top left, the bird cage necklace is so very unique! Can you see the bird inside it. This is so cute.

Then there's the new twist on the "does he love me/love me not". Instead of destroying nature and plucking the petals of a flower, you can just spin the dial and see where it lands. O.O

The "I Love You" letter really fits inside the envelope necklace. Imagine, what an original way to really get the message across eh? Ho ho ho

I really really like the watering can one because the blue teardrop jewel really looks like a drop of water!

The jetplane and the umbrella one is really sweet. Ooooh I want them allll.

From Eclectic Eccentricity.

@11.21
Arghh... can't come up with anything. Eyes are stinging...Feel quite sleepy.

Seriously can't come up with anything. WHY WHY WHY. Gosh. Ok shall look through the Written Report. again.

@11.25
Just checked IVLE. The teachers posted the OP schedule up. Our group is on 4 Nov. We have no moderators. It'll be all just familiar faces and classmates. I hope they don't change anything last minute.

But poor poor Shafiq, Jannah, Elliot, Xavier and Denise. They get the max of all the examiners: Moderators, Chief Internal Moderator AND AND AND External Moderator... KWANG KWANG KWANG KWANG..... gosh but they are all good speakers so I'm very sure they'll please all of them. I think me being the student audience will be VERY VERY nervous for them. BUT we must brave this and treat it like a normal thing.

MAN what am I doing here... SAFIAH GO DO I&R!

@11.31
Stop talking to Jannah. ahahha. Went to White Sands with her just now for the Spicy Drumlets (finally!) and McFlurry and she told me some stuffs and I burst out in frustration about something I didn't know I was feeling and just felt so angry and din't realise hot tears started streaming down my face. Can't believe I used the MacDonalds tissue to blot out the tears. And then just got over it by feeling calm... tears is not neeeeded. yerp. If trust is being worn down and walls are being built, and nothing can be done about it, I'll just leave it to God. No one knows what to do.

Gosh I&R laaaahhh...
I am so going to have dark circles tomorrow and Sean is going to tease me about it. BUT NEVERMIND. I have bought St Ives' eye stress gel ...ooh talk of the devil. He has come to say hello to me online. Anways, I am using it regularly because I am really paranoid about eye bags and dark circles and Jannah's used it before and says it works. Plus, my Civics Tutor said her eye bags did'nt go away since she studied for A levels. I don't want that to happen to meeee. Nyah. hahahah.Plus, it smells nice... cucumber. Yumm..

@12.48

I&R, measly draft 1 completed, with help of Sean. But it's still horrible. SHALL WAKE UP TOMORROW AND DO IT THEN. nyehh..Sean is not devil. Sean is angel...haha.

Goodnight world. (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
and everything will fit together perfectly

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Guitar Meridian Blog

2008-10-20T20:56:00.001+08:00

WAHAHHAA

Sim Yee is so free, she actually researched our SYF piece on Wikipedia. And... I was so right about that the first parts of the song being similar to the song "When You Believe" by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. The composers actually took the first 18 songs from the "Dance of the Yao People" and made it into the former song, WITHOUT crediting it. How disgraceful.

She also changed the GEM blog skin! But my face not inside liao! Tsk...it's hidden at the backkkk. Nyehh.

AHH SYF!!!!!!! I'm quite scared. I foresee many pressurising moments ahead.... and King's increasingly stressed face. And that time will pass by ever ever ever so fast fast fast...
MAN.

And the GEMsters did really well.. Those who I know the results of anyways.

Max got A for Chem and Math. King got average C but he thinks he can't keep his scholarship. Mao Qiang, Tak Shun, Sim Yee. Yes, compared to them, I didn't do that well. Man. Those GEMsters. I am really ashamed of my math and geog and GP. GRRRRRRR. Ok Ok... Man. Time will really really pass sooo fast.

I know I can do it! WHOOP DE DOOP!!!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

all wrapped up

2008-10-20T20:33:00.001+08:00

Well, seriously being in your own world is a really fine thing sometimes. (: Hrmm I think there's been a lot of drama in school but well, it's their drama, I'm not tuning into any channel unless the friends who are in my world are involved. Why be involved when it's really none of my business? Best be living in your own world (:

Sometimes, through unfortunate instances, especially nowadays where I'm really lazy to put on contacts cos it's short periods in school or such, I don't really see people in front of me. I would like to apologise cos if I see people I know, i would smile but since I can't see anything, ahah.. why would I smile at random people? They'd think I'm bonkers. Well.. really WHY NOT smile at random people... WHAHAH.. you get my drift. Anyhways.. I do really smile and say hello at people I know. If you don't see me smiling at you and you know I know you and you don't see me with spectacles well then, I'm not wearing contacts. In that case, why don't you say hello to me first? wahaha.. I never ignore friends. (: Why would I? Life is short.

Hari Raya was lovely and..umm interesting.
Yeah well...I can't wait till there's no school and we can all laze around.

I&R
GPP
OP

That's all there is left now...

Being calm is reaalli empowering. (:

I must play with Ilhan more... breaks my heart to leave the house for school when he's awake and wants me to play with him..

Blogged with the Flock Browser

blank

2008-10-17T01:07:00.001+08:00

So why do I feel so empty?

honest to goodness

2008-10-16T23:41:00.011+08:00

"People who are confused, don't make the wisest decisions." Elliot Lucas Marcell Tan.

Elliot makes for a very good counsellor. Knows exactly what to say. Heh... I think he will achieve his goal no problem. But that doesn't mean I don't take into consideration, the advice from my friends. (:

Ooh he also told me his dad liked his mum since he was Primary 4. Can you imagine.. so young. But he didn't go for her. He dated other girls until 12 years later, they got together... Such a cute story but kinda sad for those girls who were in between. Spare tyres ah... tsk tsk.. ahha.

Was bored when WR was finally finally submitted and hence, dismissed quite early. Shahini was under house arrest, classmates were either printing WR or watching movie (No Reservations, Siti was watching her One Tree Hill episodes tskk) or missing/lost so went home to discover a lonely place. Had nothing to do at home and really wanted to do something plus, had not eaten lunch. Spotted Erma online and asked her to go eat a very very late lunch with me at Compass Point. Felt like just released into the real world as have not been drifting in and out of shops for a long time. Finally satisfied craving for Ya Kun Kaya Toast, paid library fines and borrowed library books from NLB since ages. (:

Talked if she could promote from Sec 3 to Sec 4... which I assured her she could. Her sister's wedding and the sleepover we were going to have the day before, my life, her life..

I think I was just so happy too be back to normalcy and seeing all the new stuff in the market... or maybe it's just me being too outdated, that I was kind of starry-eyed the whole time. I paid my fines with my ez-link and then, the machine said "Your fines have been paid, please take your ez-link out" or something like that. And I just stared at it waiting for something to happen. I saw the words but I didn't read it... and thing was me and Erma was laughing laughing laughing... then both of us saw the words on the screen and I think I kind of dozed off... and I finally took what the words meant and pulled out my ezlink... >< Wahahahah.

i really love these effects...I think will print these out... wooh (:

Compass point reminds me of secondary school, Netballers and especially Geraldine.
I <3>XOXO

N U R S A F I A H
dragged to reality,
emotionally drained,
gave it all up,
and left it to God to choose..

i don't know if what I'm doing is right...i leave it to God..
my fate is in His hands...

random random random part 2

2008-10-16T01:10:00.001+08:00

i wanna date:

Shahini
Muhaina
Sadelena & Fadilah & Shahini
Dian
Christina & Daryl
Ahmad & Erma

I'll find a way to make it happen (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

random random random

2008-10-16T00:26:00.002+08:00

#1

{ / NURsafiah - - bu rstin gatthes eams says:
YES DARLING HONEY SWEETIE PIE LOVE LOVELY INTAN PAYUNG DEAR

shahini shairah says:
HAHHAHA

shahini shairah says:
whats INTAN PAYUNG?

shahini shairah says:
why you cal me umbrella

{ / NURsafiah - - bu rstin gatthes eams says:
HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHA

#2

DEAR SEAN,
I get it that you want me to take care of myself and that is what you were telling me. I think I'm doing pretty all right. Thank you. Since I am still surviving, living and blogging here...at 12+ in the morning. I don't know how else to take care of myself besides checking that I am indeed alive. Miracle. I promise I will take care of my eyes. I promise I will get enough sleep. I promise I will take care of my contact lenses. I promise my eyes will be all right and fine. OKAY...?

Dear Sean,
All the best for your A levels. Study hard. Avoid people who ask too many questions because you are very generous with your knowledge.

Dear Sean,
Thank you for helping the noob@photoshop me with the design of the shirts.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

sew what?

2008-10-15T21:13:00.002+08:00

That's it. Learning how to sew bags is on my holiday to do list.
These are from WendyT and looks so homely...

And today is Bochap Day. YAY! (:

Well Sectionals went okay today... and the beginning of the SYF piece sounds like the "When You Believe" song by Mariah Carey and ... err forgot who....

Musfirah said I look like BJ from Barney and Friends...

harrumph! BJ!!!??? The yellow dude there.... HOW SO ehemm?? what liaoo...

I just feel so empowered in manner of mean girl and saying "YOU SUCKER" to no one in particular. HAHAHAH....

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

TRAGEDY..

2008-10-15T11:58:00.002+08:00

Found this on Wesley's blog:

"I feel like I lost my gentleman instincts in JC lol. most probably because JC girls appear to be so strong... mentally i mean.."

Hmm...Well if we are mentally strong it's cos it's a survival skill, with all the crap that happens, there's no other way to get through life isn't it. Not our fault that we're not so frail as our kind are supposed to. Harrumphh.... still, no need to be less of a gentleman right Wes.. tsk... All the more we need gentlemen in the world. Cos the kind is dying out. And we only appear to be strong when inside some of us are really...actually...not.

such a tragedy...

random lyrics just going through my head:

"and I swear I know your face, I just don't know who you are"
- Closer by Ne-Yo

"There's nothing I could say to you
There's nothing I could ever do
To make you see
What you mean to me"
- I Will Be by Leona Lewis

on to OP slides and Sectionals...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Blogged with the Flock Browser

(:

2008-10-15T00:03:00.002+08:00

scratch everything.

I feel happier I hope. Muhaina & Shahini knocked sense into me. Thanks...
zen state of mind. remember to be calm. calm. calm...

Even though I think I just ruined everything to protect myself, everything happens for a reason. Things that are meant to be will be no matter what happens. There was this Hindi Bollywood movie and I still remember a line from it. "When you want something so badly, the whole universe moves so you'll get it." Just I don't really know if that's what I want.

Why do I screw things up sometimes? I hope it'll all turn out okay in the end...

other happy news:
Got the MOE HQ attachment. Confirmed + chop, Insya'allah.

which means, will miss OGL Camp and means that I did not sit for Asian Civilisation Museum's attachment which I thought would be more interesting and I have thought of working in a museum before...museums are hip hot and happening now...they're not all stuffy exhibitions anymore. umm hmm..

and now I need to, not think anymore, and lose myself.

"It is alright letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back."

As Mick Jagger the British Rock Legend said...

Well... I'm back aren't I...

Maybe it's cos it's after promos that I had too much to think... or during promos, there was too much I was not thinking about that when there was a void in my brain, due to the aftermath of pouring out all information from regurgitating, all the thoughts flew in to take up the space.

on the other hand...

WR DONE DONE DONE &

SUBMITTED!!!!! YAY YAY YAY!!!!

Today, the universe said:

Ever wonder what would make life's fleeting pain and sorrow totally and unquestionably "worth it," Nur?

How about living forever, wildly in love and loved wildly?

Yeah, baby -
The Universe

You said it! (:

Just needs time to recover from pain and yeah? Hrmm...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
i'm so not such good speaker...
i wish I had bluetooth to communicate my thoughts sometimes

Blogged with the Flock Browser

bursting for calm

2008-10-14T20:51:00.006+08:00

Am you really being yourself?

I don't know. It doesn't really feel like this is me.

Or are you changing?

I don't know.

Isn't change good?

I don't know.

Would you know?

How would I.

Which would you choose? Save your ego? Or make the truth heard?

I don't know.

What do you know?

I don't want to be hurt.

Why would you be hurt?

I don't know.

Who will hurt you?

The people who are closest to me.

Who are you close to?

They know who they are.

Why do you have eye bags?

I don't know.

Did you have enough sleep?

Yes I slept at 10.30pm yesterday.

Then why do you look so tired?

I can't answer my own questions. Jannah said she realised that when she's stressed, she'll have eyebags too no matter how much she slept. Maybe I'm stressed.

Why are you stressed? Exams are over.

I don't know. I can't answer your questions...I can't even answer mine.

What's your questions? What do you want to know?

Everything and nothing.

What kind of answer is that?

Oxymoron. What do you know. You don't get Lit do you.

Oh you're such a depressed emo-being.

How do you know. You don't know how I feel.

How do you feel?

Confused. Irritated. Vulnerable. Fragile.

Why?

I don't know maybe it's that time of the month.

Why? You didn't use to be this way even if it was.

Maybe I didn't get as much exercise as I did. So my body doesn't produce enough endorphins for myself. Maybe all the endorphins inside me have all been used up in the past year since I last exercised.

When did you last exercise?

Before the promo break.

When did you start to feel like this?

After promos.

Then this is the answer. You need to lose yourself with exercise. You need more endorphins.

Right. Thanks. Maybe you're right. Too bad they don't come in pill form.

wow look. Was I being a schizo? whahaha....
feel like there's a bee box in my head...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Online Window Shopping

2008-10-14T20:37:00.002+08:00

AYYZ these are so original. Who would have thought anyone could make precious earrings and necklaces things out of ordingary stuff...CORK! Plus environmentally friendly and quirky! Haiz.. genius (: From Etsy.

This reminds me of Chem... haha.... doing Chem experiment. I think their packaging is really innovative. hah!

I think I want a new bag... tote bags are nice but I need one with pockets that aren't heavy. I found some SINGAPORE made called b-diff ...it's nice that there are people out there trying working hard on the local brands...I think I'll visit this place soon. When roaming around time starts.

And they have a store here:
Decorhut (at The Central above Clarke Quay MRT Station)
6 Eu Tong Sen Street,
#04-73 The Central,
Singapore 059817

I might as well learn how to sew good strong bags with the many times I change bags. But first, just learn how to sew. PERIOD. Really... out of the how many girls there are in this country, I wonder how many percent are able to sew. It's not our fault really. The nature of our life has been reduced to studying, slacking, CCA, PW-ing, chasing paperwork related stuff i.e. attachments and internships. If we're not doing this, we're thinking how to best go about, pleasing the government by marrying young to procreate. We're such government pleasers. The last time I sew was in Sec 1 or 2? I loved the quilting... haha... but it was kinda wrinkly cos my sewing wasn't smooth.

I think this will be in my wishlist. Seriously though, I think I have to overcome that inertia first. I wanna learn how to sew TOO...tsk.

These are sooo pretty... sighhs....
but I really would like some of the brooches. Looks scrapbooky. O.o
Perdi La Ser

I can't even go online shopping la. Forget it... nYehhhh...
Have to go shopping. Again... argsss...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

satisfaction; hope ; plans

2008-10-12T00:40:00.001+08:00

Open house for family is officially over and it was a success though what we could offer to our family was just modest. Love Hari Raya... only time where I can really catch up with some of my cousins.

Maybe Najihah retaining is a blessing in disguise cos now we are in the same level then at least we can spend more time with each other. And II'm so proud of my cousin, Amirah for being the Cedar Open House sucessfully. I'm sure it was a hit even though I wasn't there. I intended to go but had my own open house to attend to.

I have so many plans for my cousins for this holiday. We have a GOONG marathon sleepover at Najihah's house and just now, Najihah proposed that she'll help me with my room makeover. She actually convinced me that it was possible. HAHA. Just cos she has no PW... very the excited girl...she is bored and very free. YAY YAY YAY. I told my mum and she... HURHed. Ok, everything will come out from my money. I've been wanting this for ages.

Wow what a long day...and very eventful I must say. In the afternoon... Muhaina called me. I think I really forget that I can turn to her sometimes... SAFIAH. gosh. Anyway thanks for making me a part of your life okay. I am so honoured.

Jannah's prediction that after promos will be a very very happening time is true but I'm quite sad at the cold war that has formed. The fact that everyone knows everything but we seem to pretend that we don't know anything and the truth is, we just really don't know each other. Next week will be very interesting indeed. And I'm beginning to sound like Gossip Girl, the all knowing narrator when I really prefer not to Gossip. I just happen to be there and listen and most of the time I don't understand what's happening since I'm always in the "Lost World". Which is better right? hah. Reminds me that the website cut me off while watching Episode 15 of GG. Haiz.

Ok promos results:

General Paper D
H1 Math B
Literature C
Economics E
Geography U

NYEHH. Ok but I'm really really happy for LIT cos i really really wanted to do well. Ok this is well according to me because I really improved a lot. Same for econs...N i really sacrificed Geography. Quite dissapointment but at least I scored a high U. wahhaha...

Compare to Mid Years results:

General Paper D
H1 Math D
Literature E
Economics U
Geography S

I improved most by 2 grades. Except for General Paper and i really deproved for Geography.

So throughout the holidays, I aim to revise Geography and see how I can improve my General Paper. Also reanalyse and do my own for Paper 5 Lit.

Yes.

My baby brother, Ilhan, is so clever.

He approaches everyone to read the same book. Over and over again. Just like I did when I was young. Good.
He poses for pictures. Unlike me who only learnt to smile at age 2.
He is just so clever he picks up things so fast.
And he is mostly in a good mood and gives a smile to everyone. Like me currently. Heh...
Because of this, he always puts the people around him in a good mood.

But he can be sooo irritating at times.

He demands for attention. Every time clinging on to my mother such that she is unable to cook and then she will scream at me to pick him out and drag him away from the kitchen. And then I have to take care of him and I can't do my own things like study, or read, or watch tv, or use the computer or blog. Nyeh..

BUT. I am really grateful for having a baby brother at this age because I learn so much and he's just quite darling to come home to someone who will run to you with a smile and ask for a hug and when you've had a bad day that's all you need. A smile and a hug and a kiss on those soft cheeks. And no matter how sad I am, I'll be forced to play with him which makes me happy in the end. And he's so cute. I'm so grateful that I asked for a baby brother all these years and my prayers were answered. Even though the timing is not exactly perfect, there's always a reason...

You must know how I feel even though I don't say it. You must feel how I feel. No? (: I've always thought feelings were so great that they were powerful.

I want to say a BIG thank you to Shafienas and Musfirah for allowing me to join you all in Sushi and Sundae ice cream at Macs. Yum and Loves cos I was damn low and crappy. And I really couldn't get while you all couldn't get me sometimes. But nvm. haha..

Tomorrow, Jalan Raya with Malay Table Group aka Lovelies...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
looking forward to happy times

Blogged with the Flock Browser

right timing?

2008-10-10T23:43:00.001+08:00

Wondering how else you could view life when you're experiencing emotional pain, is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Wondering how else you could view life when things are already going really well, however, is the sign of a spiritual rock star.

Born to run -

Blogged with the Flock Browser

incoherent, BLEAGH, post

2008-10-09T22:10:00.001+08:00

Oh gosh....

I don't know why just sometimes school warrants for bad moods. Yesterday first thing in the morning, I didn't receive my Broader Perspectives magazine while all my other classmates who paid got it. So I got in a bad mood for it cos Shafiq kept for Siti and not for me cos they dint know that I subscribed...HAIZ. I really love Broader Perspectives cos of the design if not the really good articles. I'm a sucker for good design...I think the classes behind us saw me stamping and stomping about. GRRSH. My fuse has really really shortened nowadays...but next time, I need to really remind myself that it's not all that bad cos there are always nice people around who actually wants you to feel better. Like Elliot who offered to lend me until I finish reading cos he already read it finish it one day. And the thing is, he was the one who approached me to ask me why I was so glum, if I was okay. It was so unexpected.. Leads me to think...if I had my choice...sometimes, I'd rather be doing other things than what I keep doing and that I wish I was stronger to pull myself away. N if I could create my perfect world, who I'd choose to be in it and who I'd kick out.

Maybe Azrul was right that time:
"Safiah, you're so..."
"So what, Azrul? What is it this time...you're always criticizing me..." (jokingly. Which is true too anwyays)
"you're so... in your own world"

Of course. I have reason to do so. Now I understand...

I don't like to blame. I prefer not to blame. I try not to blame. When frustrations been suppressed, one day, it'll all burst out.

Since Ramadhan has come and gone, I hope I can keep doing all the good things that I've been doing during Ramadhan and kick out my bad habits... this I need to write down somewhere and paste it on the wall.

*I just purged everything out...I think I feel better now.**

Feeling lots of things...and in this mood... all I can see are the negatives..and everything is going through my mind all at once.

Just stop telling me what to do. Please ask me nicely.

Stop making me feel so stupid. Don't silence me so suddenly. I've been keeping it all in, accepting it. No wonder I just BLEAHGH and ARGHH and "STOP IT" these days I can't bring myself to get these stupid treatments anymore. And I just feel like screaming sometimes " CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THE RESPECT TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! ARGS!" It won't be a surprise if I grow more silent as the days go by and it won't matter anyway cos it will all end soon and me being the person to gravitate to a happy disposition will forget all this sooner or later and be unable to stop silencing myself. Maybe I should tattoo on my hand a mantra saying "Safiah, shut up". I may be losing more and more of myself if this continues. It's just not me, what I've been doing lately. It's not what I see myself to be...it's not what I want to be.So how do I depart from this mess?

I'm losing control...my room is a chore to appear spot on tidy everyday...i keep being so tired of the world no matter how much I sleep, there seems to be so many things to do that I haven't done. There's so many duties, promises, responsibilities to the world. I can't find my own space right now. Even long walks home from TPJ stop to own house is not enough to clear my mind. Think I need to go to that carnival pond and throw lots of stones until I'm ok. Maybe shall do that tomorrow. Do I have anything tomorrow? No. Yes so I can go and throw stones. and stone. and stone. and be all alone. and spend as long as I want to cos there's no CCA tmr. I know there's so many people I can turn to... just that I don't wanna burden them. But if they ask at the right time: "Safiah why so glum? Is everything okay?" like Elliot did... even if they're a stranger I'll just blurt everything out.

I think I just did (not too a stranger tho). And silly me, still can tear at how much people care for me. It's like I keep forgetting that they always want to see me happy, be successful, and all that jazz and when I stumble upon the fact that they do, it's like a new discovery all over again.

Be gone, to the people who have never ever said that they're happy to see me successful, or want me to be successful, or happy. Be gone to the people who have never ever given me encouragement when they can see that I need one when it's obvious that I'm not okay.

Be gone to those who find pleasure in condescending others. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent! It felt so easy sitting with Asmila, Thendral and Theodora today, talking nonsense the way it should rightfully be done.

and I promise I will never believe a word about anyone until it's proven true. Because I will never want any of that to happen to me. Yeah all those karma shizzamagizz. How can you expect people to treat you in a way when you don't treat other people in a similar fashion? Maybe it's your own doing that's making the things you so badly want to happen, not happen. Then you can't blame events right? Everything starts from the heart.

Oh gosh I don't knowww...I have to change this,if not, I can't live with my conscience.
I have to stop the way I feel because it is of no use anyways. It's all going to end one day too. There's no use. There's no reason why some things happen. Fear works into my days a lot nowadays too... I think I'm scared of some things and then... something wrong happens instead.

It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face

Just because
You go through it
Don't mean it got
To take control

~Just Stand Up by Various Powerful Female Singers

I just had to blurt all these out for future reference...

Lessons learnt:
1. Bring lots of material to read during break time.
2. There's a reason why birds of a feather flock together.
3. Your life will never ever go the way you exactly planned it.
4. You can never expect people to behave in a preset way. (implications are +ve or -ve)

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
foul. mood.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Skin

2008-10-07T20:00:00.002+08:00

I saw a girl.

I saw a man looking at the girl.
No.
He only looked at the skin.
I don't think he even saw the girl's eyes.
I don't think he even saw the girl's face.

I saw a girl with too much skin.
I cringe.

by me (:

Blogged with the Flock Browser

JFYs... (:

2008-10-05T16:11:00.002+08:00

Addictions:

One Republic, Jason Mraz, Ne-Yo, Piano Covers, Violin Covers

Frustrations:
Wanting to play a lot of songs on the guitar but unable to.

School ends at 4 for most days...
There's still morning assembly for next week.
And Oral Presentation Preparation will start fully the week after plus MT lessons and I don't take MT anymore so this means that I will be slacking in school. Haiz...

This year doesn't feel so Raya-ish cos of all the exams... Guess only those who don't have to do PW can really enjoy.. haha...

Listening:

One Republic- Say (All I Need)

One Republic- All We Are

One Republic- Dreaming Out Loud

I am so left out in the music department cos I have no time to listen to radio charts anymore so I'm left to discover nice music on my own which isn't all that bad too. ;D AND listening with headphones is much much better... YERPS.

and Husna ahhhhh...one of the most interesting person I know.

She finds all the Jiwang songs and introduces me to things I never thought of before...through her blog tho. Mats singing under the block... yeah a peek into the people who I will never come within a proximity of a 1 meter radius to. But reaaallly nice voice huh. Good harmonising..

Imagine, you want to go to the mama shop, and you walk through the void deck and you hear this. Wahahah... I think I'll hide behind a pillar somewhere where they can't see me and listen till the song finishes. But I guess they sing at like... 2 am plus in the morning? woo hoo... all the Kutu Embuns...

And in a few minutes, a helium balloon with my name on it will be released from Heeren... WOO HOO.. Set me free. (:

Osho said

2008-10-05T01:01:00.001+08:00

1.
The heart is always right-- if there's a question of choosing between the mind and the heart-- because mind is a creation of the society. It has been educated. You have been given it by the society, not by existence. The heart is unpolluted.

2.
Mind functions in 'either/or' way: either this can be right or its opposite can be right. Both together cannot be right -- as far as mind, its logic, its rationality is concerned. If mind is 'either/or' then the heart is 'both/and.' The heart has no logic, but a sensitivity, a perceptivity. It can see that they both can not only be together, in fact they are not two. It is just one phenomenon seen from two different aspects.

The heart knows nothing of the past, nothing of the future; it knows only of the present. The heart has no time concept.

3.
Looking at a sunset, just for a second you forget your separateness: you are the sunset. That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it. But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset, you are no longer feeling it; you have come back to your separate, enclosed entity of the ego. Now the mind is speaking. And this is one of the mysteries, that the mind can speak, and knows nothing; and the heart knows everything, and cannot speak. Perhaps to know too much makes it difficult to speak; the mind knows so little, it is possible for it to speak.

4.
Don't move the way fear makes you move.
Move the way love makes you move.
Move the way joy makes you move.

Goodnight moonlight...

Blogged with the Flock Browser

tributes

2008-10-04T00:00:00.005+08:00

Daryl,
Thanks for coming down to see Christina and me...you know you make us smile. Haven't seen you for a long time. Sorry both of us still quite busy....

"The Reasons" - The Weakerthans
I know,
You might roll your eyes at this,
But I'm so,
Glad that you exist.

thanks, Brother, for everything. I know I have to swallow the bitter medicine so I won't hurt myself. I know whatever you say is right. I know it's painful but it's for my own good. Yaya... OK i will listen to you cos I don't want you to slap me...GRR.

AND STOP TALKING TO CHRISTINA ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.

Christina. YOU TOO AH. heh.

So.
Mean.
you ppl.
But I still love you no problem..

deep tuning

2008-10-03T22:38:00.007+08:00

1. "The Reasons" - The Weakerthans
I know,
You might roll your eyes at this,
But I'm so,
Glad that you exist.

2. "Left and Leaving" - The Weakerthans
Those stains in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
these strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say "I wanted it this way"
and wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are.

3. "Love For Granted" – Phoenix
I think about the time we wasted
My loneliness has slowly grown
I told you not to cross the line
And leave me with your love for granted
The letters from your broken heart
I think I might have lost them somewhere

Don't tell me 'bout your lies
Don't tell me 'bout your secrets

4. "Volcano" - Damien Rice
What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea

5. "Smoke" - Ben Folds Five
Here's an evening dark with shame
Throw it on the fire
Here's the time I took the blame
Throw it on the fire
Here's the time we didn't speak
It seemed for years and years
Here's a secret
No one will ever know the
Reasons for the tears
They are smoke

6. "Hundred" - The Fray
It’s hard I must confess
I’m banking on the rest to clear away
Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love you

You right where you are
From right where I am
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred

And who's to say it’s wrong
And who's to say that it’s not right
Where we should be for now

Hundred - The Fray

7. "Run" - Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Run - Snow Patrol

A wise girl once said, "You are what you listen to"

a.k.a. Jasmine Wong (:

how terrifyingly true sometimes....

i just wanna cramp ur neck

2008-09-28T21:13:00.001+08:00

ǝsɐǝld ǝɯoɔ ʎɹɹnɥ ɐʎɐɹ ıɹɐɥ
ǝsɐǝld puǝ ʎɹɹnɥ soɯoɹd

¡ʎɐʎ
sʞɔoɹ ƃuɐ uɐǝs
sʞɔoɹ ɔɾdʇ

THANKS SEAN. wahahahha..
random chomp chomp.

wishlist on a star

2008-09-28T13:49:00.008+08:00

AAAH! Love the beat on the bass.

I should have asked to buy Ne-Yo's new CD instead of Jason Mraz. Nvm... when I get da money. Hehx.. xP
NeYo makes me want to study harder so I can BE the BOSS in the future. HEH. Good job Safiah. You listen to inspiring music ^^v.
But why does his song revolve all around the same thing? aahah

Miss Independent... Nyeh. pays all the bills on time. Wahaha... yeah yeah..
Certainly the Year of the Gentleman...(HIM)

and in his MVs it's like his wearing the SAME type of clothes...ooh tis the Gentleman theme.. haha. RIGHTS

I remember at one time I din't like Ne-yo much. I only started liking his songs after this couple danced to his song- Because of You on So You Think You Can Dance. That was really good. I only listen to him cos I really miss Usher...
Believe me, I'm eclectic in taste.

Closer (piano cover) by David Sides.
I must say, he's nailed it! wow.

Because of You, Piano Cover by David Sides

DL-ed a new browser, Flock. Hah.

And... THREE MORE DAYS to RAYA!!! WOO!

CHRISTINA, i suddenly miss you a lot... gosh it's cos of Exam periods, I don't see you around a lot. SEE YOU VERY SOON!!! ayz i still haven't given you your birthday present and it's IN MY ROOM! haha... yeah yeah..

SADELENA, you bought a (RED) iPOD you!!! aahh! Ok ok.... fiine. I'll be rich one day.. nvm

FADILAH, what a hoot when you added Shahini and me and Hafez on the convo. Nyeh... and then, baik ah you just left us like that w/o saying Goodbye. Nyeh. I prefer proper closure anytime...

DIAN, though this is random, I really felt that we grew apart. I miss the times when we were close. I still love you babe. Let's make a joint birthday bash next year? Till then, see you when we have the Primary school, raya outing...

See you peeps real soon.

MWAH!

spontaneous, cunning up with a surprise of a storm

2008-09-27T23:08:00.008+08:00

I still love Taufik !

and am still fascinated with Korea. Heh.

and I am falling more and more in love with Asia, as in our continent, everytime. (: We don't need Western influences... We're much more lovely. Yupp.

ok just felt like blogging la. Erma made a tribute post for me. Thanks darling (: *biggrin*

I'll study P&P again and try my best... it's like the last bit already. Everyone's finished their paper except the H2 Geog and H2 Lit peeps. Everyone's celebrating and preparing for Raya. A lot of people are making Hari Raya kuehs already... huhu! And I still hate the way my room looks like. I want it to transfigure! transform! reborn! haha so "potrait (paper 5 lit)". Nevermind, I have the weekends to study. Nyeh...

And I'm realising how Pride&Prejudice was a self-help book ahead of its time. Jane Austen is a wonderful genius.

"I am convinced, my dear aunt, that I have never been much in love, for had I really experienced that pure and everlasting passion, I should at present detest his very name, and wish him all manner of evil. But my feelings are not only cordial towards him; they are even impartial towards Miss King. I cannot find our rhat I hate her at all, or that I am in the least unwilling o think her a very good sort of girl. There can be no love in all of this. My watchfulness has been effectual; and though I should certainly be a more interesting object to all my acquaintance, were I distractingly in love with him, I cannot say that I regret my comparative insignificance. Importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly."

-Elizabeth, Pride & Prejudice.

___

We keep our distances
We don't reveal our inner selves
I'm done with this tension buildup of a dance
I think I've finally reached equlibrium with you.

It's okay.
We're stable.

___

Yeah. Woo hoo! I transcended to the Janeite-dom.
Oh and stumbled across some fab blogs:

Fashion Pirates
Style Rookie

and a whoop-de-doop! site:

Look book

HAPPY 17 SHAFIENAS!!!
i know you loved the surprise me and Jannah planned for ya! cake+candle. Soft toy Rose and the Paris notebook! Woo hoo!

Iftar rocked.
Smuggling Shahini in MJ rocked.
First week of exams over. RAWKING.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
feeding off the femininity

Promos, day 2

2008-09-23T21:59:00.004+08:00

Lit Paper 5 went ok...

the h1-ers said P&P for them was difficult. Imagine what ours would be like. Grr....

Replying Wesley's tags:

Ok WES, i already put one song up. WOO HOO..rejoice.
Buy talisman and amulet! WAHAHHAAH.... ohho... would that REALLY WORK.. wahah.. u GHOST.
and CONGRATS... u successfully spammed my tagboard. u did u did u did. congrats. woo hoo.
and now I know what to get for your bday: 2 pin plug... good idea ah. NYEHE. The timing on the tagboard is like tat. I'm too lazy to change it just as you are too lazy to take the 2 pin plug from your stereo to shave.

Replying Christina:

Ya durh! ME was like.. WHAAAAT too. heehe.. me! seductive! neyeye.. i'll try it out on you and see if you are seduced when i c u. neyheheh.. .RIGHT LA.. me do not know the art of seducing or me am not equipped with the art of seducing unless me am already BORN with the art of seducing.

whaha.. ok yes xtina, i stop now. i started crapping already. boo hoo..

Personality Quizzes, as we all know, are not 100% accurate...
but what most people do not know is that,
I am an anomaly too.

Woo. Spot on!

okok tomorrow Physical Geog.

Get well soon Sean (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

i promise...

2008-09-22T22:40:00.003+08:00

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

oh gosh... yeah... sometimes i'm scared to know who I really am...but I like to flirt and behave seductively? hrm...

n my left eye is turning red. and i'm supposed to sleep and I'm reaaaaly tired but I don't want to sleep. not yet. It's like I need to get something out but I don't exactly know what. Gosh. furreak.

howells...

good night world.
:(

Promos, day 1

2008-09-22T18:27:00.010+08:00

~oh dear beauty,
that I should call you friend,
would be an act of grace on your behalf.

I will sit a thousand days beside you,
if only to hear the stories of your journey.

__

GP and Econs today!

Whee.

GP, I got the paper, looked at it and started circling and crossing some questions. I knew in my mind I wanted to do something about Youth & Technology. So i picked.

"The wired generation". Evaluate the impact that this trend has on young people.

Gosh. I'm really scared I went out of point so I shall look at what wired generation means.. *starts to pray***

OUTCOME: YESSS!
wahahha

"Growing up with the wired generation
Today's teenagers use technology to stay in touch with friends at all times - turning their bedrooms into 'connected cocoons'"

Econs:

I-OWN-ECONS (borrowing of TPJC econs title huhu)

nyeheh.. only because of Mr Lam. THANK YOU CHER. you rock. And the lovely Econs teachers.

Case Study: SIA

Essay:
2(a). explain allocative efficiency in resource
2b) Is govt intervention desirable in allocating resource?

4a) Difference b/w Oligopoly and Perfect Competition
b) Pfizer example of Oligopoly. Is it beneficial to society?

While waiting for Econs to start, we had 45 mins to do last minute chionging. My classmates went crazy at the study bench outside the hall.

I started this Mat thing: "Amaciemm!"
then Shafienas said "Amaciemm!"
then we did the rock thing.
and I said "Wehhh!"

haha. and Shafienas asked me which mat I met who said "Wehhh!" ahaaha.. I dunno. I guess I was feeling the INNER MAT in me. HUR HUR... right...

Then after school I wanted to top up my ez-link. Took the same bus as Shafienas, Nadirah and Siti. When I wanted to alight, they did the rock thing to me again. You know, the pseudo-mat style. Nyehe. There was a Old Nyonya sitting in between us cos we sat at the first level of a double deck bus. So I rock salamed them then the nyonya did the same to me! HAHA. I was shocked and the girls burst out laughing. And you know how Siti laughs. She just... EXPLODES. hahaha.. I was so shocked I couldnt do anything. By the time I wanted to do the same thing to her, she put down her hand already. So I was like a fool extending my rock hand to her. WAHAHAH.. and Shafienas was there, trying not to laugh BUT laughing. I bet they were laughing all the way home LARH. HAHAHA...

Must be a damn cool Girl when she was young. Heh... *GRINS*

Sidenote:
I should have started corresponding to Shahini through email a long time ago. Unfortunately for both of us, she has a handphone but doesn't know how to use it. Gosh nini! Nyehh ok replying your email now.

Elliot is so nice. He did his Lit paper 5 outline and let us all see. He is such a nice lit rep. I'm so glad to have a lit rep like Elliot. :D

Oh and after Econs, I was walking with the gang to go to the library to get Elliot's beautifully done paper 5 outline when somebody just came to me and asked me how my Econs was. . Guess who ah. WESLEY! Wah so long never see my bass SL. It was a surprise cos usually I'll be the one starting the conversation when I see him. And he usually looks like he belongs in a parallel universe, somewhere where the ghosts belong cos he's usually so pale, white and sleepy. Just now, he looks damn haggard. Wesley, go sleep more. Now is promos time and you can't afford to sleep so late durr. And go shave. Nyehe. :D But who cares. You look good like that too. (:

and oooh Wesley. You have an admirer. Be warned. Nyehe.

___

In my field of paper flowers
I'm counting up all the hours,
Waiting for the day that is ours.
Maybe I'd have better luck with the stars?

And the rain blurs all the letters
Hiding the secrets of our treasures.
Did it also wash away the colors
Of a love made from dreamers?

With hands full of time, I seek the answers
Before we notice we've become strangers.
And now what separates is more than hours
In our lost field of paper flowers.
___

Happy paper 5 tomorrow people!
and to the h1 lits, happy paper 1.

Which reminds me, saw Kamal and Azrul on the way back from MRT. Azrul was on the way to the library, to DESTRESS. WOO HOO. baik Azrul...

___

oh btw, did you know I'm a teeny bit weeny dissapointed and I totally do not know why.
It is without rhyme, without reason. And it's a teeny bit weeny frustrating too. NyA!

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
still feeling the Goong vibe
Goong is love

sweet memories

2008-09-21T17:28:00.003+08:00

durr...

because of firewall, i can't DL songs... and i can't upload pictures.. cos it's a paid virus protection.

I stumbled across Goong today. It's true how certain songs just bring out certain emotions from you.

I really love Parrot by Howl from the Goong OST. Makes me want to cry.

I remember the craze last time, all the girls I know were caught up on it. My cousins, my friends. And we were all united in it, watching the show the WHOLE DAY. Seriously not caring about school, singing all the songs, laughing together, following the way they talk, the way they act. I miss the company and the craze.

Most of all, I miss the show. I want another one like it to come out not only cos of the fantasy of the story, but also, cos I miss the effect it had on the viewers. It brought us all together, albeit the mass wasting time and burning away of money to the producers. But it's all worth it. It's a very satisfying, wholesome show and I don't know when else I'll watch something like it. It had everything. Heh. It even showed how arranged marriages can actually work. woo! haha.

I'm so gonna watch it again after Promos cos I've forgotten their names. I'll propose a sleepover at someone's house and Sade, me and Fadi can go watch it. Nyeheh. Shahini doesn't like these kinda shows. But then maybe we'll expose her to it! WOO HOO. Need lots of tissues.

Or with the netballers. Heh. I still have to borrow Kai Qi's books. And Wei Shan's Korean DVD collection. WAHOOs.

Parrot by Howl.

Perhaps Love (forgot the artist)

ookkok back to Econs.

aww i feel better.. heh

2008-09-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

1) 5/9/08, Friday

Whenever your perspective on something creates emotional pain, Nur, it's always because your perspective is still so narrow that you've yet to see all the good it will make possible.

Because it will.

I can see clearly now...
The Universe

2) 4/9/08, Thursday

Has anyone ever told you, Nur, that you have a knack for making people feel special? Important? Like they really matter?

I should know.

A million thanks, "dudette" -
The Universe

Of course they matter. haha...

and lately, my penchant forJalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, known to the English world simply as Rumi, the 13th century Turkish poet.I borrowed a book of his poems from the school library on Wednesday and the librarian thought I had to study it for Lit. HUH?! haha.. then I said it's just for light reading. Yeah. ahahh

You suppose you are the trouble
But you are the cure
You suppose that you are the lock on the door
But you are the key that opens it
It's too bad that you want to be someone else
You don't see your own face, your own beauty
Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.

In truth everything and everyone
Is a shadow of the Beloved,
And our seeking is His seeking
And our words are His words...
We search for Him here and there,
while looking right at Him.
Sitting by His side, we ask:
'O Beloved, where is the Beloved?'

and then there is this which I have often thought of and he puts it nicely in words:

Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well and yet everything happens only a certain number of times - and a very small number really. How many times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your life that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many times will you watch the full moon rise, perhaps twenty, and yet it all seems so limitless…"

Paul Bowles 1910-1999

nyahaha...

i think im at a phase where when studying comes, i become such an uninteresting person and i think only about studying and all the topics that im studying.. hahahaah.. grr.. and i can't think much.

howells...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

there's no place like it

2008-09-20T15:17:00.006+08:00

yeah there's none like it right.

responsibilitiesrealitycomfortsolitairesiblings
messchoreseverythingeverywhere
telecommunicationbillsmoneymoneymoney
uniform
callssmstears
magazinebedmusicheadphones
booksbooksbooks
muststudymuststudy

allyouneedisloveisjustrubbish
allyouneedisloveistrue
allyouneedissuperheroisticpowers
allyouneedistimetoworkforyou
allyouneedisasimilarmindasimilarsoul
allyouneedisaspacetogooutofcontrol
allyouneedispeopletounderstand
perfectlywelleverythingthatyoucan'tshowandtell

howdowestopaglobalproblemfromhappening
howdowestopsocialproblemsfromoccuring
wecan'tevenbegintostopitinourownhouses
whenmindscan'tbreakoutandburdenskeeppiling
justtakesonepersonnottocare

allineedisforonepersontoask
allineedisjustasimpletask
allineedisperfectcomfort
wrappedallaroundallaroundduvet
coversboxwarmsafesnug

and feel good bout it

hope the other side understands

to do list for after promos

2008-09-20T14:42:00.002+08:00

EVENTS:

Hari Raya Massively Maniacal House Cleanup

Hari Raya ( $$$! wahahah and FOOD! YAY!)

Open House Prep (get my Phobos shirt from THAT GIRL!!!. First, FIND THAT GIRLL!!! if not, borrow Phobos shirt from a PAE Phobos girl. GRR... it does not pay to be nice sometimes GOSH.)

OPEN HOUSE!! (come one come all)

things to actually DO:

upload photos and do scrapblog.
update extensively

DO NOTES FOR A LEVELS ( studying does not stop, sadly. There's March block tests, when i hopefully get promoted. WAHAHA.)

Oh then I think we get to sign up to become OGLs and then there's OGL orientation and then there's next year's orientation. WOO HOO.

Oh and then there's a lot of catching up to do with the girls (Shahini, Fadilah, Sadelena) and the netballers, and the IN Crowders, and the PAE mates and the Daryl and Christina. Gosh...

Then Shafienas already booked me for HSM 3 and another show. Wahaha... oh we have a lot of dining and movies to watch with the classmates and 417.

And then there's the plan to makeover my room. Including painting and hammering and filling up the holes with cement filler.

and to do a new blogskin.

and then i wanna go buy a laptop. and i wanna read a lot of books.

and for Hari Raya, there's the Sec sch ppl to go hari raya-ing with and the Pri sch ppl. and i don't want to organise but i think i gotta do it. As. Usual.

FINE. ahhahahhaha. Gahh.. Ok back to studying for Promos now. I spent whole day at Jannah's house ytday studying and ate dinner with her family. Nice. ahhaha...

My mum just came back from JB and all the kuih rayas are all crossed out from HER to do list.
woohoo.

ok go back to studying now. OOH do you realise that there's DYING in stuDYING. WHHAHWHAH. ohman i think my lame streak is coming back.

OH and ...
Shafienas said the only way you can have more time on your hands... IS IF YOU BUY TIME MAGAZINE...

KWANG KWANG KWANG =.="

what a random post... hahhawa nyehehe..

grr TPJ finish promos oredi..

ok Safiah GO OREDI..

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

photo editing

2008-09-18T02:32:00.004+08:00

woo hoo.

it's 2.35 am.
it's 3 more days to promos.
tmr is consultation w ms sim.
and then study break today and tmr.
phew.

and im still awake.
cos i rediscovered what i really miss doing.
editing photos.
and i did it to destress. and remembered all the nice photos kai qi took of me.
wahahahaa!

and i havent done any essay outlines yet for geog.
n i havent done a review of my UK trip.
gosh i think that will be done AFTER PROMOS, during raya period. can't wait.

i think there's something wrong with my firewall such that I can't upload my wonderful late night creations.. and i can't change it. GRRsheeesh.

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
i'm made of atoms. you're made of atoms.
and we're all in this together.

gratitude

2008-09-08T22:03:00.003+08:00

am feeling so Bridget Jones
am thinking that I get easily influenced by styles of good authors
am thinking that it is true that I get emotionally influenced
am thinking that it's hard to change this
it's hard to be cruel

❤ MUHAINA
❤ BAHIAH
❤ SEAN

for telling(directly or indirectly) me at the end of the day, that everything will be just okayy...

and turning it all around
to a smile from a frown

oh and today,

❤ Jannah
❤ King Napoli

for the moment of highness with Jannah and then we blocked Napoli and like laughed all the way to Math tutorial

❤ Nadirah

for being such a cute funny storyteller who made me laugh so much

❤ Shafienas

for imitating my once-i-get-high-and-start-to-laugh-i-can't-stop-even-when-we-gotta-do- stg-serious behaviour and THEN the effect was. I (laugh) was (laugh) unable (laugh) to (squeal) stop (AAAH!) and ( ahhahahahha! ) stomach (OW OW OW) hurts like siao (tee hee) and whole table (wahahaha) laughs too..

am especially happy to see Muhaina at the end of the day sometimes. I LOVE YOU MUU!

ok...
hate losing things (i.e.: thumbdrive, watch)
dislike bitchyness where it's not supposed to happen (i.e. where it's not funny)

ACADEMIA
still gotta email cambridge peeps.
still gotta go through stacks of readings..
am being given hint of enlightenment on how to score for Econs. (or hopefully, at least pass)

PARALLEL LIFE
still dreaming up scenes

last note:
❤ sleeping with a smile and a light heart even though probably left a trail of disaster behind because am so klutzy and irresponsible. mostly, just today...
❤ i should be really happy cos i found nice people on the earth

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

Radiance shines so brightful of happy

2008-08-28T21:26:00.007+08:00

whoo. what a time.

I'll update more abt the trip this weekend.
I'll upload all the pics this weekend.
I'll email the Cambridge people on Saturday.
I'll study on Saturday.
I'll email Danial his soccer pics on Saturday.

whee. Tomorrow's teacher's day!!! Can't wait to see my pri sch friends! I think we shouldn't watch movie. We should just sit there and talk talk lo. HAHA.

Oooh what a topsy-turvy time. and now we all gotta study. I'll just put a few things which has made me say... "Whoa.."

Cos sometimes, I try to be wise and there are no answers in my brain for my questions. But the answers have been there all the time and it's only due to my busy busy days and reluctance to touch the computer that I have not checked my email for a long time when I've been receiving such wisdom. hmm...

That email said:-

Sometimes, Nur, expecting a straight answer from particular folks is absolutely out of the question.

And that alone should answer your question.
Wicked smart,
The Universe

Another one told me:-

The man of genuine worth and insight wants to be himself, and he wants others to be themselves also.

The man who craves disciples and wants followers is most always a charlatan. The man of genuine worth and insight wants to be himself, and he wants others to be themselves also.

Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915

On 27/08/08, yet another asked me:-

Did you know that all of the "I LOVE YOUs" you feel and say are captured and recorded here, Nur?

They're actually put on display, sometimes even paraded around, so all can bask in their sublime glow.

Their energy could power a city like Singapore for 10,000 years, their beauty could bring Mona Lisa to tears, and their healing power has already completely rearranged the time-space continuum.
You love machine,
The Universe

And then...one that I wished I really read so that everything wouldn't have been so bad...

Goshdarnit, JUST DO IT!

Everything you need to know, YOU KNOW, and everything you need to have, YOU HAVE.

EVERYTHING!

Time and space IS A PRIMITIVE school. There are bigger challenges "out there", bigger adventures, and lots more friends... but you gotta do, what you gotta do, here and now. YOU GOTTA LIVE THE TRUTHS YOU'VE DISCOVERED... apply the principles, and never again think, "why isn't it working", "it's hard", "I don't know"... because such thoughts are like hitting the REPLAY button for whatever you've just been through.

LOOK AHEAD with your dreams in mind, and give thanks... because you know EXACTLY what to do.

(Whew... feel better?)

Tallyho, ho, ho...
- The Universe

Many a time, I feel like a fool, cos I really do think this is true. And I really wish I had this in my brain and in my wisdom:

When you understand, Nur, that what most people really, really want is simply to feel good about themselves, and when you realize that with just a few well-chosen words you can help virtually anyone on the planet instantly achieve this, you begin to realize just how simple life is, how powerful you are, and that love is the key.

Fly little bird,
The Universe

And then I really begin to understand that I'm not the only one thinking this way. That even though it just says that it's 'The Universe', I know I'm clever and all (ehemm) cos I signed up for this daily message thing...and I know that there are humans (just like me) behind all these clever words which just make me sigh deeply and go "Ahhhha", it's still nice to pretend that the Universe is really telling me all this haha. Doesn't equal God tho. Nah shan't delve in that. Still, I get to understand more of myself everyday. What I am attracted to and what I get disgusted at and why so. Yes. So. These meditative so insightful "Ahhaaaa" messages, so good to read but I can never come up with one. Ho ho. (: Just gotta accept that and read more then. Can't get enough of them can I. Hee hee... IM POWERFUL! WHOO HOOTS!

The only way to get what you really want, is to know
what you really want.

And the only way to know what you really want, is to
know yourself.

And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself.

And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.

Mike Dooley

What a long winding message just to deliver one point. Listen to your heart. Yup yup.

Do you know who I really, really, really love, Nur?

Besides you.

The folks who keep doing little things, expecting BIG results, especially when circumstances seem to indicate that tomorrow will pretty much be exactly the same as yesterday, no matter what they do today.

These are the world's movers and shakers -
The Universe

And though... realistically, I don't know this Universe, I think it knows me better than I do myself. I always get pleasantly surprised don't I. And though realistically, a million other people get this message too... it's still nice to know I'm really really really loved... though it's kinda weird to get it from a) someone who doesn't know me b) indirectly, a machine. Still...the Universe must have assumed I'm a nice girl cos I bothered to sign up for the messages in the first place...to make myself happy... hahah.

A little known secret concerning life in the jungles of time and space, Nur, is that however far you reach, you will go farther. However great your dream, it will be grander. And however much you love, you will be loved much more.

We call it the law of increasing returns.

Love you much more,
The Universe

Lastly, the greatest thing is that...it applies to EVERYONE. Change my name to yours. Hope you feel better that you are already feeling. (:

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

P.S. I LOVE YOU! (: i feel like shouting it out. Whoever hears it, I mean it to them. Is there anyone I hate now? No no no. haha... So yes... quasi public good or something... (:

National Day part 2. Bath and Stonehenge

2008-08-14T13:46:00.005+08:00

Sorry...been too caught up with everything to update. Plus that I've really been trying not to use the internet cos then I'll be sidetracked. I've really been wanting to study more. So far I did Lit and Econs... haiz and only have less than a week left... I have been trying to squeee all the time I have to do my own schoolwork... yup yup.

Ok at night, on National Day, all the JCs came together to have a celebration in the Old Hall. CJ organised it. Jessica was the emcees. We had to split up to play charades. Then we sang Singapore Songs... then CJ did a bhangra dance from their mass dance. But everyone loved it. Especially the Mumbai people. Hwa Chong, who was residing in Newhall College temporarily came down to join us at Girton. I don't know how RJ celebrated by themselves at Newhall. haha. We were supposed to have a barbeque but it rained so they just served us the food inside. First time I ate vege burger and vege sausages. WAHAHA...

On Sunday, our school went to Roman Baths and Stonehenge. Let the pictures speak for themselves.

It was a 3h ride to Bath then around 45 mins to Stonehenge from Bath. And then 3h back from Stonehenge to Cambridge. And everything was so rushed. My lunch at Bath was $16 Singapore. But it's okay because for the days spent in College, I dint buy anything for lunch.

We went to a sports shop and almost everyone bought soccer balls because they cost $2.99 pounds. Haha.,..

Me, Joan, Shaun, Alvin and Si Han were late for the meeting back at Stonehenge cos we saw half a rainbow getting clearer and clearer. As it developed into a full rainbow, another rainbow formed at the back. So there were TWO rainbows! One half and one full and it was GINARMOUS! Finally I live to see two rainbows...I'm so grateful.

But Stonehenge was nothing much other than when the wind blows, which is often and very strong, it is VERY COLD....

This week in summer school I'm doing Pride and Prejudice. My tutor is John and he's Scottish but he's very funny and he's a Phd student too.

Ok I'll update about yesterday's London trip on another post.

This is for Daryl...

Hey. Don't be so down ok. I hope Pei Rong will recover soon...
Don't feel so lost and alone and cold though I have no idea why you feel
like that. Seriously I will have a long chat with you when I get back. Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
I wish I could reply the sms-es but I cant't. And are you sure you won't be
paying extra charges for sms-ing me?
Daryl, please SMILE...

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H

P.S. Laptop is being stupid. Will use Joan's later to upload pictures...

Day 5: best tutorial ever. NATIONAL DAY!!

2008-08-09T20:18:00.006+08:00

I finally fed the ducks yesterday. And they were gobbling every bit of bread that I saved from last night's dinner. The fishes were eating the bread too. Gosh. Haha. I intend to save whatever bread I get and give it to them. I think I can. HAha.. It's so fairytale the gardens here. Those that look like it popped out from my nursery tales.

Tutorial yesterday was boring but the theatre practical was FUN! Paired with Jessica all the way. Me, Vanessa, Joan, Jessica and this other girl had to act the scene where Desdemona was about to die, the Willow Tree scene basically, from Othello. I. Had. To. Sing. The. Willow. Song. In. Front. of. Everyone. Hahaha. The teacher sang it to me then I "attempted" to sing it on stage. Jess was the director for our part. Flushed horribly after that. At Tutorial today, which was one of the best tutiorials ever ( I LIKE! there was a lot of discussions and the exercise at the end was insightful and finally I didn't sleep at all), my tutorial mates said I sang the Willow Song like the Spongebob Square pants theme song. WHAAAAAT. =.=" haha. Ms L sat in and she and her other teacher friend contrbuted to the discussion too.

Yesterday, I walked to Co-Op with Ying Shi, Ganesh and Jia Ang. It was SO cold and also the first time I saw the sunset. THe Co-Op is so cool. I really think that I won't mind being a vegetarian if I live in England. HINT to SITI. Haha. If a package was suitable for Vegetarians, it'd be stated on the package. I bought chocolate milk and white chocolate buttons and strawberry sour strings. YUMM. haha.

On the way there...

I really do wonder WHYYYYY! hahaha

On the way back...
Ying Shi, Jia And and Ganesh.

After that we had a briefing at the boys' kitchen to pay our money for the excursion. Then after evertything was settled I called Ms L so that we can go through our schoolwork for Paper 1. I really need to do more for my Singapore work. I don't want to get advanced. Haiiz.

Just finished watching NDP from the internet using Joan's laptop. It's so funny that it's nighttime there and it's just after noon here. It gets increasingly cold everyday as summer is coming to a close. Haha...Well, later at night, all the SIngapore JCs are organising a little NDP celebration. We wil have a barbeque and hence, everyone is obliged to don our national colours, red and white. I, sadly have none but I just wore a very starrrrry top and a red scarf. HAHA i hope that's definitely better than some ppl who's wearing green. HAHA.

The NDP commentators are v funny. And they made a lot of lame comments. One point of time they intro-ed the SOKA association who was performing and i asked "Who is SOKA?" to Joan and Dionne who's in the room. And the commentators then said "If you're wondering what SOKA is...." I straightaway BURST laughing and I didn't hear what it actually is. Heh. Wokkays.

In the dining hall.so patriotic!

I don't have a lecture later, it'll be another tutorial with Gary. I think this will be the last Othello tutorial. We'll be watching a film I think?

Yesterday I talked with the other MJ students who's going for different subjects how their lessons have been so far. Physics is interesting: the faster an object gets, the shorter it becomes. They couldn't prove it to me on the walk back from Co-Op but they said it has alll to do with Math. Hmm.. ask Sean lah he sure knows wan. Hmm hmm...Mr G said it will all help them with their H3 Maths. Should I take H3 Lit then? And Econs was covering Game Theory which is what SMU H3 Econs will be covering. It's really cool. Haha. Shaun was trying to explain it to me during dinner ytday. Farnie! First player advantage lah, second player advantage lah.

And all of us have been so mean to a certain someone along the way.

Oh after dinner ytday, we went to play table tennis at the common room..RED RED common room. I paired with Shaun and we lost. GRRR haha. Nevermind, we're still top 4! Joan and Dionne was third, Wei Yi and Ganesh 2nd, and Jia Ang and the other boy who I always forget his name was first. haahha.. we couldn't see the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony so this was how we commemorated. Nyehehe. Wei Yi and Jia Ang was so.. O.O haaah farnie. CUTE.

Ok lunch's gna end soon. I ate microwaveable rice and milk chocolate buttons. yumm? hahaha ok lah...

2-3rd day of lessons....

2008-08-08T20:07:00.004+08:00

This all happened yesterday. ok i've yet to feed the ducks. I'm gna do so after the theatre workshop today.

Me and Joan explored the lake and the Fellows' Garden but the pics are all with her. I shall STEAL later. wahwha

JEssica and her friends doing jumpshot. Pic taken from my bedroom window.

We had a Girton College phototaking. Hehehe... Stood beside Jess.

After that I kind of lost Joan so I tagged with the boys who played soccer. I joined after a while. Jia Ang and that other guy played squash inside.

What happended yesterday? Oh. There was a very good Shakespeare lecture. Wow. Nice. Man. like. KABOOM. ahah.. and it was for everyone so it was good insight to what a university lecture would be like. But there was no time for study. I did GP e-learning on Capital Punishment but didn't I cover that in Sec 2? hahha... and it was so many text that I just skipped. Me and Joan were supposed to go to Ms L's room but we both fell asleep.

I want to buy lots of postcards. Ppl please email me your address if you want one.. HAHAH... Don;t be malu just email to me. nursa_26@hotmail.com in case you didn't know. HHAHA

Daryl just smsed me.

YES Daryl, I can read your sms. WASTE SMS FOR WHAT! hahahaha... purposely one. I miss all of you ppl.

I was in tutorial today and just missed my littlest brother...hehe. Today in tutorial we compared Othello with King Henry V and Dr Fauster. I think. gosh I'm like a fool i was silent throughout. It got too advanced and I didn't know what to say PLUS i don;t know Othello that well. Gosh.

OK Safiah, tonight I WILL go through Lit with Ms Lim and then do econs. I am not sleepy. Not sleepy...

Now, I'm going for theatre practical and Joan says we're going TESCO. URGH. 3 pounds for bus trip. That's like $9 Sing dollars. Urgh. But nvm. Hehe...

Tatas ppl. To all back in Singapore. They say don't play with your food.

XOXO

N U R S A F I A H

1st day of lessons

2008-08-07T04:59:00.006+08:00

View from my window

Can this be called neat? haha... my side of the room

Joan doing Chem e-learning early in the morning.

ho humm...

Guess who else is here at Cambridge with me?

- AZIZAH!!! but she's staying at Newhall College... and she's with RJC doing Economics

- JESSICA GOH!!! ahh... kept hugging her... so good to see her! Last overseas trip I went was with her to Bangkok with the INcrowd...

- SOFIA!!! From secondary school!

ok so today we did Othello which I haven't covered. It was allright though. The PhD student teaching my tutorial class, Gary, was kinda understanding but as a result I didn't really answer a lot of questions. The whole class was kind of silent. Had a group presentation which was okay. I think because I don't really know the content, it's hard to really do a good analysis of the drama.

Act 3 Scene 3; Analyse the development of the themes honest/dishonesty.

Zounds! is part of the script! REALLY! haha.. Sofia's handwriting is SO CUTE. haha (:

Then I was abondoned for lunch. The whole of Girton went for punting except lit students. Grr.

But we finally found the rest and I ate instant me (TOM YUM!!! yum yum!) with the rest.

Sidenote: Ho ho. Ok Sean is SO SWEET. (: Thank you many many!

Then after that we had a lecture on Old English Literature. It was okay for me because I was interested in this kind of stuff but Joan thought it was boooring. Haha. Made new friends with some HCJC, RJ, CJ and AJ ppl. Cool library right? I wonder if people can actually read them :0

Lectures finished early so me and Joan decided to go exploring. We walked like around 10 mins to the petrol station. The Brits call it "garage". Hee. So many "exotic" stuff that we've never seen in Singapore before! Eg: Snickers MUFFINS! M&Ms BROWNIES! And GIANT-SIZED TWIX chocolates!!!! Oh and I finally saw what flapjacks are. Heh. I'm gonna try some while I'm here.

Then we returned to play Volleyball with the rest of the MJ clan. That was fun. HAHAHA.. I saw some ducks waddle out from the lake. And there's a garden. Gosh...! I'm gonna feed the ducks bread tomorrow and explore the garden. *BIG GRIN* Joan plans to run. I think I'm going to stay in and study a bit.

We delayed dinner...cos Volleyball was too fun. Haha. Can't help laughing at Shaun. Joan and Alvin so pro. Diyone kept clapping for people like it was Golf. HAHA so I followed suit and then everyone followed. So farnie.

After dinner there was a talk by the REACHcambridge people on the History of Cambridge and the different colleges here. Gosh do you know that just by walking through Cambridge, you could reach London but it'd be a VERY VERY LOOOONG walk. HAha. They talked about all the different characteristics of each college. All the famous people was within this vicinity it is quite hard to imagine: Albert Einstein, Sylvia Plath (of course), Ted Hughes, Stephen Hawkings. From what I heard from them, the culture is very dynaminc. The academic rigour is intense. Imagine having lecture with the author of your textbook. Wow.

Then Joan, Si Han, Alvin and Shaun wanted to go study because Mr G said that apparently, our principal is very worried for our prelims for fear that we'll all get retained due to the fact that we've insufficient time to study and later, catch up with the rest. Gosh I din't bring a lot of things.

I caught Shahini online. (; and then there was a knock on my door. Ms L asked me to come down and watch the few final scenes of Othello at the garden square. Haiz.. COOLness...just come down to watch the Shakespeare Carnival .... NICE. (: And they were the pro-ness. Haha...

Ok I have some fear that

a) I lost my watch

b) I have put my contacts on for too long. When I bought a new box, I had a check up with the eye doc and she said the blood veins are quite obvious and it wasn;t a good sign. I also had some bumps under my eye lid. Grr..

When you've had a good day (:

Arrival at Cambridge

2008-08-06T14:45:00.003+08:00

Hellllo!!! hahaha

I'm waiting for Joan to tie her hair now.. Everything's quite surreal here. HAHA..

They said it's all Harry Potter-ish. HAHA .. maybe a bit too modern.

Wah so hungry.. waiting for breakfast. It 's at 8-9am but I woke at 5 am. It's 7.51am now but 2.51 there.... MJCians must be having Funfestique/cca. HAHA welll we're missing it...hmm...

Here, the sun rises EARLY!! like 4 plus i think and sets at 9 PM!!! Gosh...

I find my laptop quite redundant now. I can only use Joan's laptop for internet connection. AND we had to buy LAN for $2.50 pounds. Gosh... I'll just use my laptop for more studious stuff.... gahh...

PLANNNE! hwawha

Alvin (front) and Shaun (back). We played Asshole Taiti. I was the loser. then.. KING KING KING KING QUEEN QUEEN KING loser asshole. GRR hahh.... but not bad.. i kept being royalty with Jia Aa. Then Shaun became royalty after repeatedly becoming lowly HAHAH

Tour round the grounds

HAHA... Settling in..

Ok v hungry. Going breakfast at dining hall.... TATAS PEOPLE.

Pizza Party, Singapore Garden Festival 2008, McCafe/BK hang

2008-08-03T15:34:00.003+08:00

Thursday: j1 Common Lunch

Out of Ms S.'s generosity, we had a pizza party! to thank all the volunteers of the carnival. Emcees, performers and mangrove tour guides. Yummyy! hahah ... the rest of the canteen occupants were like "ooh I can smell the pizzas" hahha... HOHOHO.

Yes I was running around the whole day.

Nizam got hit by a softball during PE and an ambulance came for him. Alhamdulillah, he's okay now. Gina and gang were crying for him... haiz.. they said he couldn't breathe.

Then I met my cousin Amin. He came down to collect his Graduation Certificate. Found out that Mr Chiang taught me in Sec 2 and then went off to teach my cousin at MJC. HAHA small world indeed. And that was Mr Chiang's last day as a teacher. He was going off into the private sector..ho humm...

Then after school went to Singapore Garden Festival with Sean. OooH finally I get to go after last year's dissapointments. It's very very pretty and there is no other words to describe the creativity of the human minds and the complexities of god's creation. hmm hmm hmm...He was snapping away lah taking all the pics. I'll get some soon. (: For now, this is what I have:

Alamak the fantasy gardens SO NICE.. haiiz... and this is not the best i tell you. WOO HOOts (:

Orchid exhibition isit? haha... Sean snap snap snapping away.

Friday

such a toot day. Compiled WR and had problems. Printed it out in the end after a sleepy drowsy but really good if u pay attention lit extra lesson. The only way I can stay awake is to speak up in class.

After, me and Fazari was outside library editing our hard copy of WR when Sarah and Aminah came and said "Nak keluar tak?" They asked us out. Shafienas too. And I straightaway *TING!* that's exactly what I need. I told them I wanted to go McCafe so after submitting the WR, collecting my guitar, saying goodbye to the GEM members who I won't see till two weeks, a performance by Firdaus with his acoustic guitar, dilly dallying here and there we finally went to DTE's McCafe! HAHAHAHA yayness but they decided they were hungry so they went BK instead.

I shared with Jannah a large Double Chocolate and heard someone call me "Safiah!". Turned around and saw.... SYAHIDAH!!! woots! TPJC Pae Classmate. Jannah's her primary school friend and so...Syahidah started telling us everything about her. ahhaha... I asked her again abt the Hockey Forum... wah so happening ok... Can do a novel like Elliot's Train Man novel, based on a forum. WHAHAHA. (:

It was such a nice ending to the week and they all said the goodbyes ( "and buy me souvenires!") and I think I'll fly off really happy and all. HAHAH.

Shafienas, Nizam and moi.

Azrul and Fazari stole my muesli (hamster food according to them). But still they're really addicted to it and they can't stop eating it. HE HE HE.

XOXO

N U R S A F I A H

cable ski & 1/3 4S gang

2008-07-28T15:11:00.001+08:00

Had Pe Elective Cable Skiing on Saturday. Used the kneeboard all the way... and that's only like stage 1. I managed to ski only half the whole pond. Gosh...

At first no one wanted to go first so I went. THe cable took me by surprise, really. It kind of jolted me and I yelped. I wasn't ready and the instructor didn't guide me so I made a fool of myself and splashed straightaway in the water and ended up being last in line. What a waste. Haha.

Then I had to figure out on my own (what happened lah instructor?) that to turn, you had to make the string taut and to do that, you've got to go between the two pink buoys. Once I told the friends around me, they could turn and I could turn but I was too overcomed with shock and a pleasant surprise that I became a bodoh bimbo and forgot how to turn left and how to turn right so on the second turn, I fell in because the line went slack. Again.

So back I went to join the queue. One would think that I would learn my lesson on the next try. I think I totally forgot what to do that I couldn't even complete the first turn. HAha. And I was yelping through all the way. Loretta was in front of me and she so laughed when I fell in the water. Hhaha. She fell in too.

Shafiq was really funny. There wasn't enough kneeboards to go around so he started with level 2: double skis. He could stand up and all. Gosh that must have really felt grand. And he completed half the big lake with it. After, he exchanged to a kneeboard and he didn't even cross 3 m when he fell. HAAHHAHAHA. That was funny. And I'm such a meanie. HAHA...

Sarah Shamsul, Stepahnie, Atiqah, Shafiq were some of the people who came for Cable Ski 6. Oh and there was Vic-ky-toria, Chek Kai and James. Haha...

My arms took a week to recover. In the meantime, it was so difficult to change. Really appreciated my arm muscles after that. HAHA.

Then we went to Banquet at Parway Parade to eat. Me, Amira, Atiqah and Shafiq. Shafiq brought us to this ayam penyet stall but it was too expensive for us. Met Atiqah's sister along the way.

Adidas-maties. Wahaha

I straightaway slept like a Snorlax when I reached home. It seems that's what I've been doing on Saturdays- sleeping like a Snorlax. HAHAAH

At night, I watched The Mummy Returns and Troy. LOVe these two movies cos I love Egypt and Greek and it doesn;t hurt that I thought Achilles was hot. Not Brad Pitt uh. Achilles okay. (: Just love the relationship between Achilles and Brasseiles.

On Sunday, Geraldine wanted to see me before I fly off to Cambridge. So she called a meeting. Only Kai Qi and Filzah could turn up. We were supposed to meet at Plaza Sing but cos my mum was so convinced that there are a lot of negative influences at Plaza Sing (but I really think that she mixed it up with Lucky PLAZA) hence we were forced to change the venue of our meeting to Compass Point's Starbucks. Shared the food with KaiQi. It was really nice talking to them. Finally told them everything. And sometimes, I do feel the want that Filzah's feeling. I really appreciate Geraldine's neutrality and firm groundedness and KaiQi's sparkled view of the world. They all represent the different opinions I have on the situation I was facing. You rock the Girl Talk people! (:

Meiden Meridian Moichi! band concert

2008-07-26T14:36:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, 24th July 2008

whew!

i can say that this was one of the best concert i've been to all my life (have I been to that many? well..it's sufficient enought) This concert is beyond words! IT was reallly entertaining and performance was of the highest quality! At first I didn't want to go because I was scared that I had a lot of work to do and that I won't have enough money. I'm so happy I did go in the end! HAHA! Even if the tickets cost a WHOPPING ten dollars! nyehehehe

Sat with Muhaina, Firdaus, Marianne, Joan and her classmate who is my lecture-mate. And all of Joan's sons (ehemm I mean juniors) HAHAHA.... this naughty son of hers kept poking me... naughty!

I gave them many standing ovations. MJ band was not bad too tho! haha... of course must give credit to them... NENI performed a solo! Saxaphones are so sexy hahaahaha....

Good job to Jannah, Azrul, Nizam, Neni and all the band members I know. HAHA even if this post is very late. This night left me smiling awaaaay. (:

At first, during morning assembly, they gave us a preview.

Council gave the school 6o ice creams free. The rest had to be paid for. Lucky for lit students, the ice cream bike was just stationed outside lecture theatre so we all queued up. Xavier there, the goofy one, haha, was shouting.... "30 more!! After that must pay!!!" But I loved it. hahah I got a free one: Choc Chip with bread. YUMMZ. So old school. So Cedar. HAHA

The queue wasn't that long. ahha.. but people still cut queue! hehe...

I brought Ilhan to the supermarket while waiting for the concert to start at night. It's so difficult to bring a pram to the narrow aisles of NTUC. HaHA.

yayss smiley faces alll around! Mumuu! Thank goodness for concerts like these. Hardly see her anymore. HAha... She's begun to study in school until 9pm EVERYDAY. GOODNESS! haha

Neni!!! Saxaphone!!

They did, what, THREE encores for us? THe crowd COULD NOT stop cheering!!! wahalalaa BOOM! ahhaa

Firdaus, Muhaina, their friend with the bandaged leg, Marianne

Me & Jannah! (VP of Band)

Me & Azrul ( Pakcik President! )

pal·imp·sest (part II) + Carnival in the Park + tree top walk

2008-07-18T13:41:00.000+08:00

1.
i)
First I had training for the HSBC Tree Top Walk with Gary, Ching Hong, Man Shan and Ting Lin with the Siglap Sec 3 student councillors. They (the councilors) did a silly mistake of not preparing for the hike up from the Macpherson forests. Their attire...how could it slip their minds?

My co-leader was Haidar. I really can't remember the last time I became a leader of such activities. Since they're (at risk) students I was initially a bit doubtful of myself, if I could handle them. They wanted to get around me several times but I had to be cheekily firm, if there's such a word, to keep their toe in line without them knowing that I was doing so. Haha... but they're such sweets tho in the end. (:

My Co- team leader, Haidar briefing them on a game.

Group 4 completing the Poison River challenge.

The Group 4 Girls

Sec 3 Student Council, Zulfadlli, the CLOWN! ahahah

1 (ii)

The next day, Saturday, 19th July 2008. Bridging Hearts; Harmony in Nature 2008 Carnival. Gosh everything was hectic. From the preparation of the Guitar Ensemble pieces, the planning, the selling of tickets, the stress, the irritations, the abondonments...EVERYTHING all came to this day...and it was a long time ago but gosh I am so glad it is over.

We had Leadership Training Conference and then we practiced for the performance one last time.

We had a shuttle bus there and then we just hung around backstage for the our turn.

Thank you to GEM members for performing your best. I liked performing Munchen Polka but I LOVED performing the medley of Stand By Me. The funny thing was that the minister, Mr Teo Chee Hean moved from the stage left to stage right in the middle of the performance because he was so fascinated by the bass guitar Ron. Wesley was playing it and he really put his face RIGHT in front. After our performance, the minister asked Wesley about the guitar. That is what is called stage prescence. The bass guitar has like 75% of the whole of our stage prescence.

The worst part of the day: Gosh the bus incident...was so ARGH-ifying. And I really hated the management of it. Am I allowed to say all this? The management of the whole thing was so horrendous and stupid. But yah it all worked out in the end I hoped everyone who came enjoyed themselves in one way or another. And at least all my hard work and stress turned into something allright after all. I only managed the performances successfully, and only half of it....but I hoped it provided entertainment for all the stall holders, and the aunties who were waiting for the day to end so that they could get a stake for the lucky draw. (I had 8 tickets and I didn't win anything. AYYZ. That boy got a BICYCLE! How lucky! haha)

The best parts of the day (chronological order):

a) Sean came down with his dad and bro and he saw my performance. Thannnkk you so much... so touched (:

b) Liyana and Hamizan was JUST in time for my performance. And Liyana came all the way from Bukit Batok. AND she gave me a lovely smelling yellow rose. It was SO GOOD to see her! Man...i didn't realised how much I really miss her. I MISS HER STILL. hahaha. I plan to go Bangkok with the whole of INcrowd, or maybe just the gang, again so we can relive the terrifying, AND SHIOK, moments. Hamizan is a nice guy for Liyana... (:

c) Fadilah and Sadelena came! You don't really realise how much you miss certain people till they're in front of you and there's a temporary permanent smile that just grew naturally on your face. Crappiness queens they are. Love them to bits.

Thank you alllll!!!!

Fadilah! and my guitar

Sadelena! and the "picnic"

Most parts of the day I kept running here and there...some parts were really pissifying but it's all over now. so PHEW!!

Thank you to the Programme Commitee for staying through the crap:
Man Shan
Felicia
Ming Qin
Hidayah
Winnie
Muhaina
Pei Hsin

I think if I organise a next one, or assist to organise, I'll know better what to do. Firstly: Consolidations and regular meetings and updates.

Overall, a beneficially good experience with ups and downs and ended off with a star and a flower. Oh and dinner with Sean. HAHAH thanks. The calculator tricks were realllly O.o !! (:

2.
One Sunday night, some of the h1 and h2 malay students watched Romzi & Juleha. I was the only extra h2 english lit student. haha but the story is nice and so was the company PLUS we don't need to pay due to us being students and there was 60% off from some Arts Grant. I think the school paid for the remaining 40% because the amount was so little. HAHA. Yes so it was so worth it. (: Love it...especially the theme song...very addictive. Musfirah, Shafienas and me...caught up in it...hahahha. The journey home was with good company (: haha. Much laughter all around.

3.
crashed TPJC open house. Met up with Erma and Pamela. THEY have the photos. WAHAHA. But I took this one. They changed the ODAC room to a bookshop which sells all sorts of junk food which is just so suitable when the students walk past from classmates to the auditorium. Haiz...so old school some more. So nice. (:

Met Jasmine, Lip Young, Sean. Saw the cheerleader outfit for NDP. Saw Najihah and Hao Jun. And some others haahh..

4.
Nadiah's EIGHT YEARS OLD!!

Farah and Ilhan
the whole family gathered. NIIICE! love these moments. Oh and Ayah Wam visited from Australia. (:

5.
RANDOM bites

ok ramdom photo of what happens after PE. MAKAN TIME

had a meeting after school for the muscic part of the EXCO to allocate the GEM members into the different sections.
Quote of the meeting "I want Kristie!" - Timothy. EHEHEHH...
frm left: Timothy, King, Max

nice leaves on the roof of pavillion. My idea to have the meeting in the garden. HEH (:

After the meeting, met Daryl who was very troubled and all. HAHA... and walked all the way home from school. Good exercise. Many nice sights... basically, very calming. HAHHA.

Mass Movement talk at MJC

wanted to fall asleep. haha. Saw Yang Yang, GC and Charis! The talk was ok lah. alamak i dunt think i absorbed a lot. The ending was reallly abrupt. Ming Qin was on the lookout for hotties (according to her). Very gatal tt one but it was so funny! hahaha during the HSBC tree top walk up, we saw NS guys all the way and we even made a video so that we could show it to her. HAHHA..

Then we took a bus, we wanted to go to Plaza Singapura but ended up going to Newton's Foodcourt. HAHHA. It's a nice change of eating environment I guess. Quite fun. Crappy bunch of people! xD

best tasting mee goreng mamak after a looong time

from left: Hidayah, me, Ming Qin, Winnie and Felicia!

Haha! Felicia so CUTE here!

Ok I'm tired. I'll continue next post (:

There's so much I need to do oh goooosh!

XOXO

N U R S A F I A H

pal·imp·sest

2008-07-17T23:44:00.005+08:00

"Changi Airport is probably the only airport in the world which students flock to during exams in search of a cool and pleasant place to study, and I think it’s one of the few airports where wedding couples come and take pictures," said Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, speaking at the official opening of Terminal 3 on Friday.

Haha... how true how true.

ALERR. i will find a time to upload my pics in sch. Because 1000 words=1 pic and it is more efficient with pics. So haha.. till nxt time,...

PREVIEW wahwahwa...

MacRitchie Reservoir HSBC Treetop Week (training for facilitators)

MAN SHAN!!!

oh yes i have been very busy.
and i don't need my parents to come down for mid years exams.
i need to report at 7.15am for school for two weeks. One week now.
One week to cambridge.
Then one week after Cambridge.

What I have to do now:
1. Edit Daryl's Diary
2. Email Ms S.
3. Start on WR (I foresee this not being able to be done by tomorrow. Pls allow for extension FAZZ!)
4. Read read read
5. Learn that SYF piece. Ask King to play for me or stg.

Appointments:
1. Swensens with Ms S and BHSE comm (day unconfirmed gosh time's running out)
2. Tuesday-
PLAN A: Sg Garden Festival with Family
PLAN B: See Danial's Soccer Trial and be his paparazzi
3. Thursday- study/ ice cream treat from Sean at IKEA.
4. If Plan A on Tuesday does not work out, beg people to go to SGF with me.

Things to do before trip:
1. Buy good pair of shoes
2. Get new set of Sony Ericsson headphones
3. Buy new monthlies contact lens

tears in the night

2008-07-17T23:29:00.004+08:00

You become a friend when another needs you and you're able to help. Whether or not the friend asks for help is not the question. It is when he or she needs it. Still, not everyone's psychic and intuition doesn't work when you're not in constant contact.

Help. It consists of smiles, a question, a deep observation, a hug, a simple thought, an sms, a call. "Are you ok? Are you fine?"

I want to be there for my friends. I want my friends to be there for me.

I am always here for my friends. But in wallowing in the murky depths of the pool, I forget that my friends are there for me.

It's difficult to go on in this world without the help, the smiles, the common experiences, the warmth, the laughter, the all forgiving nature of friendship. The right friends, the close friends, the friends who know you and accept you. It's tiring to make new friends but if they're right then it's right. It's tiring cos you want to keep those friends and all the previous right friends you've made before. But it's totally worth it.

Love should be a public good. Time spent with friends, however is not. Instead, most of the time, it's spent with people who are ~~not worth your time~~ of lower priority. But to succeed in this world, it is a neccessity. I wish I could have both.

A request for help may be the best thing you give to me.

Sadelena made me cry twice.

She wanted me to be there for her once. I wasn't there. I didn't know.

Please dear, please just reach out if you need me. My school is so near to your house!

They do say that the good friends you'll find in secondary school. I too hope that we will stay good friends. All of us.

I do miss the spontaneity, the randomness, the outburst.

If there's one advise that I would give to future students who has no idea which JC to go, I'll say choose the one which has at least one close friend in it. You need it for your heart to survive.

I love my lovelies.

Goodnight moonlight.
(Oh and Sean's moon picture edit! HAHAAH and I can't see the moon tonight *shrugs* this looks so out of this world. GD ONE SEAN)

i prefer fluctuations?

2008-07-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

i wanna talk to liyana yeo!
i wanna huggg liyana yeo!
cos i miss liyana yeo!

babe takpe lah, I have an inkling to what your family affair was about and if I'm wrong just shoot me but IF im right... i understand and I'm so happy for you.

on a different plane..

i kinda feel emptier and emptier by the day.... when work is all that matters. I hope I don't turn into a zonky zombie...

and I wish I could just climb out of this i really don't know what this feeling is.... dread? fear?... it's like i want to cry but I just can't. It's like I want to shout but I have no energy. It's like I want to take something and slash at it ( not my wrists don't worry) but I can't stand violence. Still, writing it out seems too mild. I think I've been keeping it all in I've been getting nightmares. This scary guy (think Rumpelstilskin but meaner, darker, taller) was following me around... I've not had nightmares for a long time.... I don;'t know which bothers me more. The nightmare or the fact that I even had one.

I need someone to tell me that it's all going to be okay... without me asking....
I just... need assurance that EVERYTHING is going to be okay...
this and that ....
that and this...
cos so far it's going downhill
and no one has time to spare a true smile

I try my best to make people's day...
But, making their day... is not making my day anymore....

I see a lack of genuine smiles...
I see a lack of heart...

I see claims made in the past which may still be true presently but tone has differed hence... there's doubts and I have no faith to carry out certain actions...

wait I think some people have given me encouragement...thanks to them!
ok haiz...
GRR.

I miss being light-headedly happy like a helium filled balloon. It was so infectious it was hard to get rid of. Even being near to the rock bottom low was okay cos I knew what to do with it. What is this stagnant numb feeling!

I can't help being a social creature who needs the human involvement time and again. The sincere human touch ( not necessarily physical ) is hence very precious to me. I can't help showing these streaks now and then.

I think I need to see some people and see some genuine smiles. I'll make appointments after Saturday if they never come....or if I'm too busy. Or maybe I need to go to someplace where there's a lot of children. Or maybe I need to be a clown and entertain them. That'd bring me joyful of goodness.

First Derivative Test.

safiahpowernegative ---
safiahpowerzero ---
safiahpowerpositive ---

straight line graph. TOOT

a jane-ite!

2008-07-12T21:23:00.001+08:00

Which Jane Austen Character are You? (For Females) Long Quiz!!!
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Marianne Dashwood

Most girls can relate with Marianne on a more personal level than some of Austen's other characters. She represents the emotional longings and struggles that seem to attack and bless us at the same time. Loyal to a fault, passionate for experience and life, and a bit over-emotional, Marianne matures and grows (making her so beloved).

Marianne Dashwood

78%

Emma Woodhouse

75%

Elinor Dashwood

59%

Jane Bennet

56%

Elizabeth Bennet

53%

Charlotte Lucas

44%

Lady Catherine

25%

a point

2008-07-07T23:57:00.002+08:00

swing hits ground
feet scratches dirt
face looks down
gradual darkness

noisy
noisy
bee box
no air
glum heart
plum juice
shut down
despair

one question
true white
intentions mixed with time ripe

silent request to the universe
boomerang bang
this need fulfilled
a pure vessel
of origin: heart

vague bonds grow stronger
surer
glass wiped

drift off again
swing up again
a soul has changed
thank you, friend.

~Nur Safiah

Sylvia Plath has influenced me in more ways than I thought she did. Haiz...
This poem shouldn't be a poem if real poems are defined as what they are from what I read.

I am still really really thankful for the friends I have and how they all pop in at the right times. For those who have exited the door instead or somehow just faded away, I find that I miss some of them. They proved themselves worthy of being called a friend at one point of time.

I'm still thinking about friends aren't I.

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS...

I guess somehow, the right ones show up at the right time, when you need them the most. I hope I do appear at the right times too (:

Well, Happy Youth Day then. I did tick off a lot of things from my to-do list.

xoxo
N U R S A F I A H
half smiles

pammy sexy seventeen

2008-06-29T22:55:00.009+08:00

Preparing the first ever 'PICNIC by the BAY'

Our stash of junk. On my "picnic" poncho mat.

GO DIVA! (:

Jo En is bored of waiting and playing with fire! Woots.

The Lovely CAKE!!!

The lovely cake that Phyllis totally ruined when she wanted to cut it.

Liyy's part of the cake.... guess the word! TEN points for you.

Liyana and me called in 4 helis just for Pam. And the Singapore flag too. Heh.

Sah--luuute! or Say WOAH!

And I asked Daryl to call his buddies, the Black Knights to fly this in for Pamela. Double heh.

And the boats spelled out Pamela's name....as Liyy and me imagines. uh-huh *big wink*

Don't you think the Red Lions look like dragonflies? But they're NOT!

Cos I just love Pam so... :D

Erma-made scrapbook of us early in the year.

Pam's AWESOME drawings...show-off! hehehe...

Liyy says I look like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!!!! Tsk...

safiah; erma; liyana

Pam's heart sticker on Liyana's ear.

and on my selendang.

GIRLS by the BAY

Still IN-tact, we are.
*start of ego moment* I guess everyone wants to be in the INcrowd cos a father of a tourist family took a photo of us in this pose. For his own camera. Yupps. Unbelievable. BUT cos we are very spontaneous and kind, we let this type of subtle paparazzi get away with it. YUPP.... get a taste of originality man.

I wonder what he will tell his family back in his home country. Maybe it'll go like this: "There was this group of friends. All of them are so different- race, personalities, looks, background. But they looked so happy and comfortable in each other's presence. That is what I call friendship." (:

Yes, I wonder...

centre of...

i love LIYANA YEO!!!
for being my other end of the spectrum. should have talked to you more girl. for the photobombing. for the GO DIVA. for the WOO HOOTS! for the "i love her!"
(her take on Pamela's birthday)

i love ERMA DZALIN!!!
for being spontaneous and not scolding us for not buying the poppers or the sparklers. sorr DER. and for planning the whole thing and for making Pamela look silly! hEHEHE....
her side of the story (here) and (here)

i love PAMELA CHOW!!!
for playing along every minute of it.

i love PHYLLIS WAN!!!
for being such a sport. for taking the videos.

i love JESSICA GOH!!!
for staying on even tho she had to go early. for coming even though she was sick.

i love JOE EN!!!
for being patient enough with us aunties. for coming even tho he was the only guy. for donning the STMC shirt. for not telling me off for being so uncivilised. i know he was just so malu to be associated with us. HAHHA...

i love US for getting Pamela so surprised....

Happy 17 Pamela!
~~blogger is being a screw up. can't upload photos. AGAIN.~~
Hope you had a rawking time. Nope. I KNOW YOU DID!

i am constantly amazed at how much i love my friends and what great friends I have. and how much i love my life. and how i'm so happy.

i include all friends. yes. start beaming and grinning away.

and i'm so so so very grateful. Alhamdulillah. (:

n i am officially disassociating myself with those who constantly let me down. once is enough but dragging me down emotionally, constantly, is just tiring. and it does not do good for me so let me say bye bye to the old pasts, D for dissapointments and S for saddening moments.

when i give up on you is when i disassociate myself. when things have become stuck and i don't care anymore, and i don't make an effort is when it happens....

see i don't even bother to press shift to capitalize the i's.

i can't let myself care anymore. i'm tired.

THIS SHOULD BE A HAPPY POST COME ON!!! XD

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
nuff said

constant snapshots

2008-06-26T21:45:00.010+08:00

Geraldine. Ilhan. Jessie.
at Parkway Parade. Eating lunch with them after training and my family went to eat at Banquet too. Then we went buy stuffs at Cotton On!!! lovves. Rare shopping haha..

Ilhan tried to scoop up the Gula Melaka. He tried to feed me too. One fast-learning boy.

Thank you for the HUMONGOUS Sunflower Shahini~~

Opah & Ilhan!
At Pizza Hut. Ayah Chor got a $100 Voucher to use and I made further use of it by ordering a student meal. (:

Ilhan & Cookie MONSTER!!!
Parkway Parade seems to be my family's latest "hangout". Tee hees...

Adik. Trying out the wrong sizes... or picking out the wrong colour for our baby BROTHER?

I discovered some things about my brother which really surprised me. I can say that I'm really proud of him, who he is and what he is becoming ( putting aside all the times he refuses to listen to my "fashion" advise and just being plain exasperating, period ). I was really touched when he comforted me about my insecurities and kept assuring me that I look FINE. From what I can remember, this is the first time that this has happened, usually it's the other way round. Wow, I can't remember when I made my insecurities public, maybe NEVER. I really needed it. Thank you Adik! I LOVE MY BROTHER!

So we went shopping for NECESSITIES. At Isetan, I pointed to Adik one outfit I thought he could wear from his prom which is next year (ehemm....yes I know. We are VERY forward-looking).

Adik: "What? Nevermind I just wear this (points to his skinnies and polo shirt)"
Me: "WHAT! You are not going out of the house if you wear that to prom!"
Adik: "Ok what. Casual."
Me: "Prom is NOT casual! Anyway that suit cantik wat. It's so sleek."
Adik: "Actually, hurmm not bad. I can borrow the pants from Ayah War."
Me: "You can buy the shirt and keep it to use for the future. It's an investment."
Adik: "Kakak, you can buy for me the tie."
Me: "See first. And you can wear a Fedora hat. Look cooler if you want to. Don't need also can actually. Can spike your hair."
Adik: "Ya I can borrow my friend's Fedora hat. They say my face shape suits Fedora hat. Then what about shoes?"
Me: "hahaha...borrow Bapak's. Can what."
Adik: "Yeah I'll just polish it myself. Wow like this I don't need to spend much for prom!"

STUDY DATE @ IKEA
muu pangseh-ed us. nuff said. :x

Bahiah!!!

Moments of frustration dealing with Math.

& she got bored FIRST. HEE....

Closing Act of Singapore Arts Festival 2008
@ Bedok Reservoir

Haha... On Saturday. I went with Farah&Nadiah. We were 1) LATE. 2) SESAT. HAahah.. So we went on Sunday again and we were on time but all the good spots were taken up. There was a nice dad who let F&N sit on his family's mat. And his son asked "Daddy, why are they sitting on the mat?" The daddy had to tell him quietly and told him "must share". Poor F felt so guilty. I just told them to sit there. The Father had more authority right? Too many inquisitive young minds.
EG:
"Daddy, how come he took the fish head?"
"Mummy, why did he jump in the water?"
"Why is the water orange?"

haah and so on... :x There was a lot of use of water. One part, the fire so suddenly roared out. Everyone could feel the heat! Quite scary too haha. And some measly fireworks at the end. Not bad, to celebrate the last day of freedom. Quite sad for my cousins. As there were many adults, they couldn't see. I was really worried they wouldn't enjoy the show because they spent half the time craning their whole body to see. Plus there were so many "artsy" people too besides the heartlanders who came to see.

Overall, I would really recommend for another one to happen next year. Bedok Reservoir will be a happening place soon! Maybe it already is. ahhaha..

After Geog Paper, Yesterday
Lunch at White Sands Banquet
and very long talk ( which I would rather forget about)

Look at Musfirah's face!!! hahaah... NICE

Shafienas; Neni; Khairiah aka HEYAAA!

Walked so long just to find someplace to "talk" and Shafiq lead us to a playground...with a lot of dogs...obviously a private estate... I had to tear myself away to leave them.... Safiah has overcome peer pressure. HAHA

TODAY, After Math paper
Terminal 1 Popeye
& Lit discussion cramming session at Loyang Point

Shared everything. MASHED POTATOES! BUN/BISCUIT... one confused identity. And Shafiq the brave! Ayyz.. guaranteed no boring moments with the class of 08A301! hahaha...

I HOPE right... that I didn't give out any wrong signals. I'm so sorry. I think I do treat people equally. (: Please don't misintepret my actions...