N U R S A F I A H

Friday, September 09, 2005/

Every Real Women Could Do With The Occasional Compliment @ 2:43 pm

Jul 19, 2005 By TODAY

http://www.aware.org.sg/main/article_220.html

WHILE a recent study revealed that the majority of women across Asia are wallowing in low self-esteem, local actress Selena Tan is brimming with confidence and radiance - despite knowing that she does not embody the stereotypically beautiful woman.
The study, commissioned by Dove and conducted by independent research company Research International, included 2,100 women in 10 Asian countries.
It revealed that Singaporean women are generally unhappy with their bodies, with fewer than 3 per cent describing themselves as beautiful.
When asked what she loved about herself, the feisty comedienne said: "I love my face. It's a real face ... It can be happy and inviting or deep in thought or angry - but it's real."
To the 34-year-old, an attractive person is a "happy person who is in love with life".
If only more Singaporean women thought that way.
The study showed that many associated beauty with just physical features.
At the launch of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty earlier this month, Ms Tisa Ng, the president of Singapore Council of Women's Organisations, felt that one reason Singaporean women experienced a lack of self-esteem was because they associated beauty with the stereotypes portrayed by popular culture.
"Every time we talk about beauty, we have some kind of ideal image in mind," said Ms Ng.
Ms Braema Mathi, the president of the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware), said that beauty is like a fashion statement.
"Look at what women across the ages have done to their bodies. In the Renaissance era, women wanted to be larger. In the Victorian age, women squeezed themselves into corsets for tinier waists.
"If all of us want to run after a fashionable notion of beauty, it's going to be very difficult for anyone to be happy," said Ms Mathi.
Aware is launching a This Is Me campaign to get more women in Singapore to accept themselves for who they are.
The study also revealed another interesting finding: Singaporean women do not get complimented frequently enough.
In fact, it took an average of 95 days before a Singaporean woman was told she was beautiful.
Could this be the reason for the low self-esteem?
Ms Mathi said that the low compliment rate can be traced back to our conservative Asian culture.
"I think it's a general Asian attitude - we are not fast enough to pay compliments and receive compliments graciously.
"How many times have you told your friend her dress looks good and the reply you get is 'No lah, it's just a cheap dress'?"
On the other hand, unlike the average Singaporean woman, Selena gets lots of compliments - the bulk of them from herself, her husband, family and friends.
"I make it a point to compliment myself every hour of every day! My husband is also good with compliments and so are my family and friends," she said.
Ultimately, Ms Mathi said that it doesn't matter what you aspire to be as long as you are happy, comfortable with yourself and healthy.
"If you want to change your nose or face, that's fine - as long as it makes you happy and you are empowered. But if after doing this, you arestill unhappy, then something is wrong and there could be a deeper self-esteem issue," she said.

- Eveline Gan

a lyfe* like mine-; 2:43 pm