RESULTS
LAPTOP!!!
violin lessons
slippers
shoes LIFE LISTx)
write a HIT book
travel all over the world
buy a yacht
own a company
scuba dive
volunteer with Riding for the Disabled Assoc.
layout design by NURSA~**
layout code by bleah-* :)
Thursday, October 30, 2008/
cheorography&cinematography @ 12:45 am
Nyehh i only put the videos all here so that I don't need to go look for them back in youtube. I know you can Favourite them all but, I can just dump them all here and see which one I like.
ANYWAYS, another Big Bang Lies Remix, with a different cheorography which... I LIIIKE. ahhaha.. okok. (: yes and the cinematography is nice too as said by Sean.
HAha... Big Bang just makes you want to dance. They dance it well enough so all you have left is just to bang your head and tap your feet on the bus... hrmm maybe just tap your feet. BUT when you're walking beside a friend like Jannah, you can dance, a bit. HAHA. BUT she asks me "Safiah why you're so happy?" and I say "I'm not happy! ermm... not like happy dance happy, just there's a para-para song stuck in my head and you just got to dance it off till it's gone." NYAHA. (:
Yesterday, watched High School Musical 3 with Shafienas, Jannah, Shafiq, Fazari and Siti. Was so last minute. OP finished at 12.30pm. Had to do some photoshoot for intro slide lasted till 12.50pm. Shafienas and Nadirah already went to buy tickets first. The rest of us left school at 12.55 for a 1pm movie. So we decided to cab to Ehub. Managed to persuade taxi driver to squeeze 5 of us in. One person just paid 90 cents in the end. Funny thing was, we reached the ticketing counter BEFORE Shafienas. Nadirah went home already.
There were so many other schools there too.
We had to sit 2nd row. Was fine but images too near sometimes. Whole movie was fine. Some parts didn't make much sense for a movie. It made sense if it was real life. But it's not. This was a movie. The story line was kind of normal. BUT the whole costumes and singing parts were kind of wowz for me. And the company certainly made it more enjoyable. HAHA. At the end, as Siti kept pointing out, Fazari had put his hands together by the side of his face and batted his eyelids giving a sigh. So the whole day they kind of teased him. We went back to school by bus. Faz had all our ez-links cos we had to show the person behind the counter our ez links to prove to them we were students. Then he tapped it all for us and we went in the bus one by one.
The whole time after that was kinda crazy. We were trying to imitate some moves that happened during the musical. I did the balcony hop hop with Jannah, like Troy and Gabriella's scene. Outside E Hub, Jannah did a wave to a complete stranger. And in school, they were trying to slide down the railings the whole time. NYAHA. Crazy bunch of bananas.
Had to eat lunch in school to save the money we blasted on popcorn. All that was left was instant mee. :( Heh. Shafienas made everyone laugh so badly. I couldn't finish my mee. :o haah... but it was Tom Yum so I finished it in the end. I love Tom Yum. Yum Yum Yum.
Then we went for OGL briefing. Found out I'm in Group 6 for Camp and and will be posted to area outside Dhoby Ghaut MRT for probably 6 hours for MMM ,which is stg like Amazing Race, with Rehavan ,who did not come for the briefing. GRR. I'm supposed to come up with a proposal with this complete stranger by Friday and I got to find him by tomorrow. I also can't attend the OGL camp so saaad. But it'll be allright also, cos I have attachment. Anyways, Elliot is in Group 6 TOO YAYS.
Gosh, Elliot's cute. He was doing his part for OP, presenting and someone walks past. He saw the person and he started stuttering and stammering and dragged his time to 9 mins trying to regain his composure. GUESS WHO!?!? *nudge nudge wink wink* I wasn't there but I would have loved to have witness this whole scene. CLASSIC. Jannah told me about it. GOSH. Guess who goes GAGA over who. NYAHAHA. Elliot, elliot *shakes head*
Today, had the shooting for our OP MV. I was the pet groomer...
So the story is...Fazari-cat is a shabby cat. He sees Siti-cat but Siti-cat ignores him. So he becomes EMOcat and walks walks walks till he finds..... PET GROOMER!!! aka. ME. Then I do wonders cos PET GROOMING is WONDROUS and then...Fazari-cat becomes LOLcat and goes off in search of Siti-cat who now really LOOKS at him and they fall in love and HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Nyaha and it's a music video and there's a ton of songs inside like Beautiful Girls, Womanizer, Nothing in this World. Yupp I think that's it.
After shooting, went to meet Wen Juan and Alicia to head off to MOE HQ for briefing. Got to know them better in the MRT ride aaaalll the way to Buona Vista. Hot day today. Seriously. Found out that Alicia is in the SAME PHOBOS GROUP AS ME and BOTH of us CANNOT go for OGL camp while Wen Juan could. Wen Juan is an OGL too so ALL of us are OGLs. NYEH. Would be nice if attachment and camp din't clash. NYEH... Also, I'll be developing resources for Mental Health of students and working on the "Time Out" programme so I'll be learning more about delinquency and the mentally at risk. Yeah... very psychological. Everyday, for a period of 2 weeks (besides Sat & Sun of course) I will be going to Teacher's Network building which is the old RI building reporting at 8.30am (but knowing me, I better make it 8 am) and ending at 6pm (except Fridays, 5.30pm). Gosh hours are really long. BUT NEVERMIND! Why? Cos my office is in ORCHARD!!! Yessss. Near BORDERS!!! yay! haah At least, I'll be able to learn what if feels like working there. NIIICE. There's always a reason. Even though this division wasn't really my first choice, and even though this attachment wasn't really what I wanted ( I wanted Asian's Civilisation's Museum but got this one first so might as well...) it all turns out okay in the end. :) My mentor was nice. She asked me if I was okay with my choice cos she knew I didn't get any of my choices. Well, being a counsellor...of course she'd want to show concern for my mental health. HAHA. No, really I think she's nice and mumsy. (:
Ok Shafienas is really low cos the j2s are leaving soon and A levels are so near. Well... hohumm..
I like to make life easier. Seriously.
Oh AND finally, liking a new song which is NOT korean NYAAHHA...
Taylor Swift- Love Story
You know who introduced me to Taylor Swift? Tara Lynette Elliot. YO BABE! (: I'm fine thanks for asking!!! My PAE Class Chairperson. WAHAHAW! And, it looks like Pride & Prejudice right? The guy looks so like Mr Darcy but it so obvious that his hair and sideburns are fake. haha...Taylor Swift doesn't look like Elizabeth though. She looks like Jane. Very pretty.
Oh by the way, I GOT PROMOTED!!! YAY YAY YAY! Alhamdulillah, THANK YOU. I know so much that I've got to work harder. And they moderated the Geog marks I got an S grade from a U. So... hrmm.. yeah. No U in my report card. Good good.
Anyways, super duper happy thank you very much! (:
I passed by my senior and she was walking with her friend at the ramp from the atrium to the canteen. Then she saw me so I smiled at her and said, "All the best for your A levels!". She said thank you. Then we walked past each other but I could hear her friend complaining jokingly and my senior saying "Okay, I wish you all the best for A levels lah, happy?" to tt friend. Haha, so because I heard, I turned around and shouted "ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR A LEVELS TOO!!!" haha... even though I think we were already 3m away from each other. Her friend laughed. I laughed.
Yes the world looks very happy and fluffy today. NYAHAHA..even though the day felt very long.My I&R (insights and reflections) is good for submission and some people haven't even started cos they're waiting to finish OP first. I LOVE MY CT. And will be sad cos next year, our teachers are all different but nevermind. I'm still happy cos will still see her in school. :D :D :D
I love my classmates today. Seriously. Thank you.
Even though I really miss Atiqah (councillor) THANKS FOR THE V BELATED BDAY PRESENT THAT YOU CAN QUALIFY IT TO BE AN ADVANCED PRESENT!!! haha... just really, it's fate but I think if things were different, I'd be good buddies with Atiqah and Amalina instead. HAHA. Remembered how I helped them paste poster all over the school for rally. They deserve it truly..
OH AND THANKS AMALINA cos she told me, the FINALE is going to be at PASIR RIS PARK cos we're going to have a PICNIC there and there'll be a stage and all!!! ooh unless this plan flops (but I'm really hoping it won't cos it sounds AMAZIIIIING!!!) I've always been a nature type of person anyhways ya and I wanted to go for a picnic for the longest time. Hrm... the last time was... sec 2? Can't remember really...but anyways, it'll be lovely (:
Sorry if the language used today didn't really make sense. I'm just typing away... recklessly.
XOXO N U R S A F I A H You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story Baby just say yes.
Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince International Teaser Trailer, Lies by Big Bang @ 10:16 pm
Nyehe... All I'm doing nowadays is just putting up videos eh? I'm too bothered to type what I feel. (:
Anyway, the cinematography looks amazing, as usual. There's an increasingly darker atmosphere. And the last bit is quite funny.
Hermione: *Snaps fingers* HEY! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the chosen one. Harry: But I am the chosen one. Hermione: *knocks Harry's head* Haryy: Okay sorry...um..kidding *blinks blinks*
NYAHAHA. Male ego. Tsk tsk.
Ohkay and this is the third Big Bang song that I'm really into. LIES. (:
But increasingly, Majimak Insa (Last Farewell), Haru Haru (day by Day) and Lies are beginning to sound similar that it's all one big remix in my head. !!
I was kinda going *rolls eyes* when the guy pushed the girl away and smothered the dead guy's blood all over him so that it would make him appear the murderer instead. Corny lah... ahaaha.
Then, there's a remix! Wahahah... I'm spending way too much time watching Big Bang on youtube. Seriously....
Ok Shafienas says the class going to watch HSM 3 tomorrow and then, maybe I'll buy shoes at BHG's sale. If not, I'll wait for the end of year sale. And I think I'm going to get myself a new pencil case ! (:
Just try sticking to it. The first time I watched it, was kind of turned off because of the over use of rap and the proximity of the guys arguing with each other. Haha. But I didn't know the story. You just got to stick for a while to know the whole thing eh? But it's quite saaad. Reminds me of one MV which one SPH intern showed me in the bus on the way to some tourist place in China. But that was sadder I cried at that one. Oh man. I was so embarrased I had to hide myself. Yeeks. Sometimes, the feelings just get too uncontrollable and we can't think. We just let the feelings consume us. And sometimes, I feel better after letting it all out. But sometimes, when there's a need to cry, but I just can't, that's when sad movies/ music videos come in, and the Koreans do it the best. (:
This is the same song, but a different version. Also, I think this translation is better. But the first one has a better storyline.
TO SHAFIENAS: This is hilarious. She scolded me in the morning, pulled me to her laptop and started lecturing me...all cos she wanted to know why I cried. NYEH. AND I thought I said something wrong in my blog. Like accidentally said something I wasn't supposed to. BUT NOOO She just wanted to tell me something nice. BUT actually subtly letting in on the fact that she's VERY THE KEPOH person but it's in her nature and she can't help it. And I won't change anything about that. LADY BOSS NAS is. ahaa
Anyways yes ok, Nas. Tomorrow lepak at Macs after OP dry run.
TO JANNAH:
YES BABE! I wanna shop for bags, clothes, bangles, 2009 planner (unless anyone wanna buy for me, I'm eyeing ARTBOX's planner or may have to do another one by DIY but got no time larhhh sheesh, still.... DIY is the best... $30 bucks for something u need everyday? Hrmm yeah kinda worth it though WHAHA) yes anway I wanna make a list of the places I wanna go to shop then we can all go jalan-jalan and shopping and have girls day out wearing something else BESIDES uniform and going shopping to places BESIDES White Sands mall. Okie DOkie. Wahah..
Shall talk to u online now. Whadduh. U tag me when I'm ONLINE. Bagoss darling. HAHHA.
I don't think I can really control my tears anymore. So I shan't even try anymore. Sorry about that. There was really no need to cry actually. Logically.
I think T2 is the nicest terminal. It feels very compact and small and personal somehow. Hrmms. Still, so many things have changed about it. I haven't been there for so long... gosh. And haven't taken the sky train for a long time too. And I don't think I took the train before. Hrm yes I think I did. With Mdm Faridah from some Geog Weather talk at the airport in sec 4. Oooh now I remember that... I was the only one who signed up cos noone was interested and thought I was really the only one but Thendral was there too and the food was nice. But I didn't remember how the MRT station looked like...Somehow, nowadays, I see more, I notice more. Anyway, Crowne Plaza is reaaally nice and even though felt like an intruder going in there with Sean, wasn't really treated like one. Yes! The good service campaign thing is really working. Good job government! Unless... that person was really a foreigner.. *stares suspiciously*...
Actually finished I&R draft 1. Using computer at home very distracting....waha!
Today feels weird somehow. In the morning, I think it's one of the only times I felt really close with the WHOLE class. Shafienas was playing Don't Forget the Lyrics using Xavier's playlist and Elliot was the contestant. Can't help but burst out laughing even in the midst of all the PW. Especially when Elliot made a very Paris Hilton move, copying how she moved in the video of "Stars Are Blind" and singing "let's see what this love can do". That move will take a very long time to wipe away from my mind. NYAHA. And for the first time, found out that Denise is into Cosplay. Really really into it, sewing and buying her own costumes complete with wigs and all. I was really blown away today, by who my classmates are. Elliot can sing. Then, it got me singing. Haha. Was fun. Though, it kind of saddens me that we will not everyone of us, move up together...and the normal voices will not be there and that some of the hilarious antics will not be there. But...
Sectionals went well today, for the first time. I was really proud of myself and my section cos we were the first complete set to come down for practise. Figured out the fingerings with Yanti. Was having sore throat whole day, since yesterday so Strepsils have been a staple today. Yanti left at 4. So had 1/2 hour to go through the part we were supposed to play with Wei Jin, Wei Zhen and Song Yang. Counted so many "1-2-3-4"s so that they could get the beat proper. I think this is why I like being a section leader. I like rhythm and conducting. Thing is, I don't really look at technicalities sometimes, just follow the rhythm. Plus, figuring out the timings for each note takes a lot of brain power. The logical side. So I hope, I can be better at math and all the logical stuff that I should be able to do. Still remember my violin teacher saying that when you're good at reading music, you're supposed to be good at doing math. But I stopped doing music for a while. And when I did, I stopped being good at math. Gosh. Music is really good for you when you know how to read it. Like math, I think I need more practise. Yeesh.
Then the rest of the ensemble filtered in F4-1 and we played the "Dance of the Yao people" as one sound, one ensemble. My section was really lacking in manpower. 4/7 only. Crystal had PW and Sandra didn't come even though I saw her earlier and asked her if she was coming. Was waiting for her sms to tell me why she didn't turn up. Harrumph. Still am not getting any sms. But the combined practice sounded good. (: Quite satisfied. Just need to be more fluent with fingerings.
So throat is pain. Voice is half gone and tomorrow OP presentation at 7.45am. The world is at ease... ARGHS. Nevermind nevermind.... calm calm. (:
Well, a lot of the House Comm people are getting retained. Haiz.. retaining is not the end of the world... I think there should be a support group to ease those who are being retained. Then, the theme song can be Daryl's Retainee song. Whaha.. but seriously, is there a group? Hrmm I shall look around in the net.. I'm not making a joke at this though, yes some may feel that they're wasting one year but still, time spent on education is never time wasted and it may be for the best in the end... (: Cheer up people... worse things happen allright. Don't cry too much... Live your life!!!
Starting from top left, the bird cage necklace is so very unique! Can you see the bird inside it. This is so cute.
Then there's the new twist on the "does he love me/love me not". Instead of destroying nature and plucking the petals of a flower, you can just spin the dial and see where it lands. O.O
The "I Love You" letter really fits inside the envelope necklace. Imagine, what an original way to really get the message across eh? Ho ho ho
I really really like the watering can one because the blue teardrop jewel really looks like a drop of water!
The jetplane and the umbrella one is really sweet. Ooooh I want them allll.
@11.21 Arghh... can't come up with anything. Eyes are stinging...Feel quite sleepy.
Seriously can't come up with anything. WHY WHY WHY. Gosh. Ok shall look through the Written Report. again.
@11.25 Just checked IVLE. The teachers posted the OP schedule up. Our group is on 4 Nov. We have no moderators. It'll be all just familiar faces and classmates. I hope they don't change anything last minute.
But poor poor Shafiq, Jannah, Elliot, Xavier and Denise. They get the max of all the examiners: Moderators, Chief Internal Moderator AND AND AND External Moderator... KWANG KWANG KWANG KWANG..... gosh but they are all good speakers so I'm very sure they'll please all of them. I think me being the student audience will be VERY VERY nervous for them. BUT we must brave this and treat it like a normal thing.
MAN what am I doing here... SAFIAH GO DO I&R!
@11.31 Stop talking to Jannah. ahahha. Went to White Sands with her just now for the Spicy Drumlets (finally!) and McFlurry and she told me some stuffs and I burst out in frustration about something I didn't know I was feeling and just felt so angry and din't realise hot tears started streaming down my face. Can't believe I used the MacDonalds tissue to blot out the tears. And then just got over it by feeling calm... tears is not neeeeded. yerp. If trust is being worn down and walls are being built, and nothing can be done about it, I'll just leave it to God. No one knows what to do.
Gosh I&R laaaahhh... I am so going to have dark circles tomorrow and Sean is going to tease me about it. BUT NEVERMIND. I have bought St Ives' eye stress gel ...ooh talk of the devil. He has come to say hello to me online. Anways, I am using it regularly because I am really paranoid about eye bags and dark circles and Jannah's used it before and says it works. Plus, my Civics Tutor said her eye bags did'nt go away since she studied for A levels. I don't want that to happen to meeee. Nyah. hahahah.Plus, it smells nice... cucumber. Yumm..
@12.48
I&R, measly draft 1 completed, with help of Sean. But it's still horrible. SHALL WAKE UP TOMORROW AND DO IT THEN. nyehh..Sean is not devil. Sean is angel...haha.
Goodnight world. (:
XOXO N U R S A F I A H and everything will fit together perfectly
Sim Yee is so free, she actually researched our SYF piece on Wikipedia. And... I was so right about that the first parts of the song being similar to the song "When You Believe" by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. The composers actually took the first 18 songs from the "Dance of the Yao People" and made it into the former song, WITHOUT crediting it. How disgraceful.
She also changed the GEM blog skin! But my face not inside liao! Tsk...it's hidden at the backkkk. Nyehh.
AHH SYF!!!!!!! I'm quite scared. I foresee many pressurising moments ahead.... and King's increasingly stressed face. And that time will pass by ever ever ever so fast fast fast... MAN.
And the GEMsters did really well.. Those who I know the results of anyways.
Max got A for Chem and Math. King got average C but he thinks he can't keep his scholarship. Mao Qiang, Tak Shun, Sim Yee. Yes, compared to them, I didn't do that well. Man. Those GEMsters. I am really ashamed of my math and geog and GP. GRRRRRRR. Ok Ok... Man. Time will really really pass sooo fast.
Well, seriously being in your own world is a really fine thing sometimes. (: Hrmm I think there's been a lot of drama in school but well, it's their drama, I'm not tuning into any channel unless the friends who are in my world are involved. Why be involved when it's really none of my business? Best be living in your own world (:
Sometimes, through unfortunate instances, especially nowadays where I'm really lazy to put on contacts cos it's short periods in school or such, I don't really see people in front of me. I would like to apologise cos if I see people I know, i would smile but since I can't see anything, ahah.. why would I smile at random people? They'd think I'm bonkers. Well.. really WHY NOT smile at random people... WHAHAH.. you get my drift. Anyhways.. I do really smile and say hello at people I know. If you don't see me smiling at you and you know I know you and you don't see me with spectacles well then, I'm not wearing contacts. In that case, why don't you say hello to me first? wahaha.. I never ignore friends. (: Why would I? Life is short.
Hari Raya was lovely and..umm interesting. Yeah well...I can't wait till there's no school and we can all laze around.
I&R GPP OP
That's all there is left now...
Being calm is reaalli empowering. (:
I must play with Ilhan more... breaks my heart to leave the house for school when he's awake and wants me to play with him..
"People who are confused, don't make the wisest decisions." Elliot Lucas Marcell Tan.
Elliot makes for a very good counsellor. Knows exactly what to say. Heh... I think he will achieve his goal no problem. But that doesn't mean I don't take into consideration, the advice from my friends. (:
Ooh he also told me his dad liked his mum since he was Primary 4. Can you imagine.. so young. But he didn't go for her. He dated other girls until 12 years later, they got together... Such a cute story but kinda sad for those girls who were in between. Spare tyres ah... tsk tsk.. ahha.
Was bored when WR was finally finally submitted and hence, dismissed quite early. Shahini was under house arrest, classmates were either printing WR or watching movie (No Reservations, Siti was watching her One Tree Hill episodes tskk) or missing/lost so went home to discover a lonely place. Had nothing to do at home and really wanted to do something plus, had not eaten lunch. Spotted Erma online and asked her to go eat a very very late lunch with me at Compass Point. Felt like just released into the real world as have not been drifting in and out of shops for a long time. Finally satisfied craving for Ya Kun Kaya Toast, paid library fines and borrowed library books from NLB since ages. (:
Talked if she could promote from Sec 3 to Sec 4... which I assured her she could. Her sister's wedding and the sleepover we were going to have the day before, my life, her life..
I think I was just so happy too be back to normalcy and seeing all the new stuff in the market... or maybe it's just me being too outdated, that I was kind of starry-eyed the whole time. I paid my fines with my ez-link and then, the machine said "Your fines have been paid, please take your ez-link out" or something like that. And I just stared at it waiting for something to happen. I saw the words but I didn't read it... and thing was me and Erma was laughing laughing laughing... then both of us saw the words on the screen and I think I kind of dozed off... and I finally took what the words meant and pulled out my ezlink... >< Wahahahah.
i really love these effects...I think will print these out... wooh (:
Compass point reminds me of secondary school, Netballers and especially Geraldine. I <3>XOXO
N U R S A F I A H dragged to reality, emotionally drained, gave it all up, and left it to God to choose..
i don't know if what I'm doing is right...i leave it to God.. my fate is in His hands...
DEAR SEAN, I get it that you want me to take care of myself and that is what you were telling me. I think I'm doing pretty all right. Thank you. Since I am still surviving, living and blogging here...at 12+ in the morning. I don't know how else to take care of myself besides checking that I am indeed alive. Miracle. I promise I will take care of my eyes. I promise I will get enough sleep. I promise I will take care of my contact lenses. I promise my eyes will be all right and fine. OKAY...?
Dear Sean, All the best for your A levels. Study hard. Avoid people who ask too many questions because you are very generous with your knowledge.
Dear Sean, Thank you for helping the noob@photoshop me with the design of the shirts.
That's it. Learning how to sew bags is on my holiday to do list. These are from WendyT and looks so homely...
And today is Bochap Day. YAY! (:
Well Sectionals went okay today... and the beginning of the SYF piece sounds like the "When You Believe" song by Mariah Carey and ... err forgot who....
Musfirah said I look like BJ from Barney and Friends...
harrumph! BJ!!!??? The yellow dude there.... HOW SO ehemm?? what liaoo...
I just feel so empowered in manner of mean girl and saying "YOU SUCKER" to no one in particular. HAHAHAH....
"I feel like I lost my gentleman instincts in JC lol. most probably because JC girls appear to be so strong... mentally i mean.."
Hmm...Well if we are mentally strong it's cos it's a survival skill, with all the crap that happens, there's no other way to get through life isn't it. Not our fault that we're not so frail as our kind are supposed to. Harrumphh.... still, no need to be less of a gentleman right Wes.. tsk... All the more we need gentlemen in the world. Cos the kind is dying out. And we only appear to be strong when inside some of us are really...actually...not.
such a tragedy...
random lyrics just going through my head:
"and I swear I know your face, I just don't know who you are" - Closer by Ne-Yo
"There's nothing I could say to you There's nothing I could ever do To make you see What you mean to me" - I Will Be by Leona Lewis
I feel happier I hope. Muhaina & Shahini knocked sense into me. Thanks... zen state of mind. remember to be calm. calm. calm...
Even though I think I just ruined everything to protect myself, everything happens for a reason. Things that are meant to be will be no matter what happens. There was this Hindi Bollywood movie and I still remember a line from it. "When you want something so badly, the whole universe moves so you'll get it." Just I don't really know if that's what I want.
Why do I screw things up sometimes? I hope it'll all turn out okay in the end...
other happy news: Got the MOE HQ attachment. Confirmed + chop, Insya'allah.
which means, will miss OGL Camp and means that I did not sit for Asian Civilisation Museum's attachment which I thought would be more interesting and I have thought of working in a museum before...museums are hip hot and happening now...they're not all stuffy exhibitions anymore. umm hmm..
and now I need to, not think anymore, and lose myself.
"It is alright letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back."
As Mick Jagger the British Rock Legend said...
Well... I'm back aren't I...
Maybe it's cos it's after promos that I had too much to think... or during promos, there was too much I was not thinking about that when there was a void in my brain, due to the aftermath of pouring out all information from regurgitating, all the thoughts flew in to take up the space.
on the other hand...
WR DONE DONE DONE &
SUBMITTED!!!!! YAY YAY YAY!!!!
Today, the universe said:
Ever wonder what would make life's fleeting pain and sorrow totally and unquestionably "worth it," Nur?
How about living forever, wildly in love and loved wildly?
Yeah, baby - The Universe
You said it! (:
Just needs time to recover from pain and yeah? Hrmm...
XOXO N U R S A F I A H i'm so not such good speaker... i wish I had bluetooth to communicate my thoughts sometimes
I don't know. It doesn't really feel like this is me.
Or are you changing?
I don't know.
Isn't change good?
I don't know.
Would you know?
How would I.
Which would you choose? Save your ego? Or make the truth heard?
I don't know.
What do you know?
I don't want to be hurt.
Why would you be hurt?
I don't know.
Who will hurt you?
The people who are closest to me.
Who are you close to?
They know who they are.
Why do you have eye bags?
I don't know.
Did you have enough sleep?
Yes I slept at 10.30pm yesterday.
Then why do you look so tired?
I can't answer my own questions. Jannah said she realised that when she's stressed, she'll have eyebags too no matter how much she slept. Maybe I'm stressed.
Why are you stressed? Exams are over.
I don't know. I can't answer your questions...I can't even answer mine.
What's your questions? What do you want to know?
Everything and nothing.
What kind of answer is that?
Oxymoron. What do you know. You don't get Lit do you.
Oh you're such a depressed emo-being.
How do you know. You don't know how I feel.
How do you feel?
Confused. Irritated. Vulnerable. Fragile.
Why?
I don't know maybe it's that time of the month.
Why? You didn't use to be this way even if it was.
Maybe I didn't get as much exercise as I did. So my body doesn't produce enough endorphins for myself. Maybe all the endorphins inside me have all been used up in the past year since I last exercised.
When did you last exercise?
Before the promo break.
When did you start to feel like this?
After promos.
Then this is the answer. You need to lose yourself with exercise. You need more endorphins.
Right. Thanks. Maybe you're right. Too bad they don't come in pill form.
wow look. Was I being a schizo? whahaha.... feel like there's a bee box in my head...
AYYZ these are so original. Who would have thought anyone could make precious earrings and necklaces things out of ordingary stuff...CORK! Plus environmentally friendly and quirky! Haiz.. genius (: From Etsy.
This reminds me of Chem... haha.... doing Chem experiment. I think their packaging is really innovative. hah!
I think I want a new bag... tote bags are nice but I need one with pockets that aren't heavy. I found some SINGAPORE made called b-diff ...it's nice that there are people out there trying working hard on the local brands...I think I'll visit this place soon. When roaming around time starts.
And they have a store here: Decorhut (at The Central above Clarke Quay MRT Station) 6 Eu Tong Sen Street, #04-73 The Central, Singapore 059817
I might as well learn how to sew good strong bags with the many times I change bags. But first, just learn how to sew. PERIOD. Really... out of the how many girls there are in this country, I wonder how many percent are able to sew. It's not our fault really. The nature of our life has been reduced to studying, slacking, CCA, PW-ing, chasing paperwork related stuff i.e. attachments and internships. If we're not doing this, we're thinking how to best go about, pleasing the government by marrying young to procreate. We're such government pleasers. The last time I sew was in Sec 1 or 2? I loved the quilting... haha... but it was kinda wrinkly cos my sewing wasn't smooth.
I think this will be in my wishlist. Seriously though, I think I have to overcome that inertia first. I wanna learn how to sew TOO...tsk.
These are sooo pretty... sighhs.... but I really would like some of the brooches. Looks scrapbooky. O.o Perdi La Ser
I can't even go online shopping la. Forget it... nYehhhh... Have to go shopping. Again... argsss...
Open house for family is officially over and it was a success though what we could offer to our family was just modest. Love Hari Raya... only time where I can really catch up with some of my cousins.
Maybe Najihah retaining is a blessing in disguise cos now we are in the same level then at least we can spend more time with each other. And II'm so proud of my cousin, Amirah for being the Cedar Open House sucessfully. I'm sure it was a hit even though I wasn't there. I intended to go but had my own open house to attend to.
I have so many plans for my cousins for this holiday. We have a GOONG marathon sleepover at Najihah's house and just now, Najihah proposed that she'll help me with my room makeover. She actually convinced me that it was possible. HAHA. Just cos she has no PW... very the excited girl...she is bored and very free. YAY YAY YAY. I told my mum and she... HURHed. Ok, everything will come out from my money. I've been wanting this for ages.
Wow what a long day...and very eventful I must say. In the afternoon... Muhaina called me. I think I really forget that I can turn to her sometimes... SAFIAH. gosh. Anyway thanks for making me a part of your life okay. I am so honoured.
Jannah's prediction that after promos will be a very very happening time is true but I'm quite sad at the cold war that has formed. The fact that everyone knows everything but we seem to pretend that we don't know anything and the truth is, we just really don't know each other. Next week will be very interesting indeed. And I'm beginning to sound like Gossip Girl, the all knowing narrator when I really prefer not to Gossip. I just happen to be there and listen and most of the time I don't understand what's happening since I'm always in the "Lost World". Which is better right? hah. Reminds me that the website cut me off while watching Episode 15 of GG. Haiz.
Ok promos results:
General Paper D
H1 Math B
Literature C
Economics E
Geography U
NYEHH. Ok but I'm really really happy for LIT cos i really really wanted to do well. Ok this is well according to me because I really improved a lot. Same for econs...N i really sacrificed Geography. Quite dissapointment but at least I scored a high U. wahhaha...
Compare to Mid Years results:
General Paper D
H1 Math D
Literature E
Economics U
Geography S
I improved most by 2 grades. Except for General Paper and i really deproved for Geography.
So throughout the holidays, I aim to revise Geography and see how I can improve my General Paper. Also reanalyse and do my own for Paper 5 Lit.
Yes.
My baby brother, Ilhan, is so clever.
He approaches everyone to read the same book. Over and over again. Just like I did when I was young. Good.
He poses for pictures. Unlike me who only learnt to smile at age 2.
He is just so clever he picks up things so fast.
And he is mostly in a good mood and gives a smile to everyone. Like me currently. Heh...
Because of this, he always puts the people around him in a good mood.
But he can be sooo irritating at times.
He demands for attention. Every time clinging on to my mother such that she is unable to cook and then she will scream at me to pick him out and drag him away from the kitchen. And then I have to take care of him and I can't do my own things like study, or read, or watch tv, or use the computer or blog. Nyeh..
BUT. I am really grateful for having a baby brother at this age because I learn so much and he's just quite darling to come home to someone who will run to you with a smile and ask for a hug and when you've had a bad day that's all you need. A smile and a hug and a kiss on those soft cheeks. And no matter how sad I am, I'll be forced to play with him which makes me happy in the end. And he's so cute. I'm so grateful that I asked for a baby brother all these years and my prayers were answered. Even though the timing is not exactly perfect, there's always a reason...
You must know how I feel even though I don't say it. You must feel how I feel. No? (: I've always thought feelings were so great that they were powerful.
I want to say a BIG thank you to Shafienas and Musfirah for allowing me to join you all in Sushi and Sundae ice cream at Macs. Yum and Loves cos I was damn low and crappy. And I really couldn't get while you all couldn't get me sometimes. But nvm. haha..
Tomorrow, Jalan Raya with Malay Table Group aka Lovelies...
XOXO N U R S A F I A H looking forward to happy times
I don't know why just sometimes school warrants for bad moods. Yesterday first thing in the morning, I didn't receive my Broader Perspectives magazine while all my other classmates who paid got it. So I got in a bad mood for it cos Shafiq kept for Siti and not for me cos they dint know that I subscribed...HAIZ. I really love Broader Perspectives cos of the design if not the really good articles. I'm a sucker for good design...I think the classes behind us saw me stamping and stomping about. GRRSH. My fuse has really really shortened nowadays...but next time, I need to really remind myself that it's not all that bad cos there are always nice people around who actually wants you to feel better. Like Elliot who offered to lend me until I finish reading cos he already read it finish it one day. And the thing is, he was the one who approached me to ask me why I was so glum, if I was okay. It was so unexpected.. Leads me to think...if I had my choice...sometimes, I'd rather be doing other things than what I keep doing and that I wish I was stronger to pull myself away. N if I could create my perfect world, who I'd choose to be in it and who I'd kick out.
Maybe Azrul was right that time: "Safiah, you're so..." "So what, Azrul? What is it this time...you're always criticizing me..." (jokingly. Which is true too anwyays) "you're so... in your own world"
Of course. I have reason to do so. Now I understand...
I don't like to blame. I prefer not to blame. I try not to blame. When frustrations been suppressed, one day, it'll all burst out.
Since Ramadhan has come and gone, I hope I can keep doing all the good things that I've been doing during Ramadhan and kick out my bad habits... this I need to write down somewhere and paste it on the wall.
*I just purged everything out...I think I feel better now.**
Feeling lots of things...and in this mood... all I can see are the negatives..and everything is going through my mind all at once.
Just stop telling me what to do. Please ask me nicely.
Stop making me feel so stupid. Don't silence me so suddenly. I've been keeping it all in, accepting it. No wonder I just BLEAHGH and ARGHH and "STOP IT" these days I can't bring myself to get these stupid treatments anymore. And I just feel like screaming sometimes " CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THE RESPECT TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! ARGS!" It won't be a surprise if I grow more silent as the days go by and it won't matter anyway cos it will all end soon and me being the person to gravitate to a happy disposition will forget all this sooner or later and be unable to stop silencing myself. Maybe I should tattoo on my hand a mantra saying "Safiah, shut up". I may be losing more and more of myself if this continues. It's just not me, what I've been doing lately. It's not what I see myself to be...it's not what I want to be.So how do I depart from this mess?
I'm losing control...my room is a chore to appear spot on tidy everyday...i keep being so tired of the world no matter how much I sleep, there seems to be so many things to do that I haven't done. There's so many duties, promises, responsibilities to the world. I can't find my own space right now. Even long walks home from TPJ stop to own house is not enough to clear my mind. Think I need to go to that carnival pond and throw lots of stones until I'm ok. Maybe shall do that tomorrow. Do I have anything tomorrow? No. Yes so I can go and throw stones. and stone. and stone. and be all alone. and spend as long as I want to cos there's no CCA tmr. I know there's so many people I can turn to... just that I don't wanna burden them. But if they ask at the right time: "Safiah why so glum? Is everything okay?" like Elliot did... even if they're a stranger I'll just blurt everything out.
I think I just did (not too a stranger tho). And silly me, still can tear at how much people care for me. It's like I keep forgetting that they always want to see me happy, be successful, and all that jazz and when I stumble upon the fact that they do, it's like a new discovery all over again.
Be gone, to the people who have never ever said that they're happy to see me successful, or want me to be successful, or happy. Be gone to the people who have never ever given me encouragement when they can see that I need one when it's obvious that I'm not okay.
Be gone to those who find pleasure in condescending others. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent! It felt so easy sitting with Asmila, Thendral and Theodora today, talking nonsense the way it should rightfully be done.
and I promise I will never believe a word about anyone until it's proven true. Because I will never want any of that to happen to me. Yeah all those karma shizzamagizz. How can you expect people to treat you in a way when you don't treat other people in a similar fashion? Maybe it's your own doing that's making the things you so badly want to happen, not happen. Then you can't blame events right? Everything starts from the heart.
Oh gosh I don't knowww...I have to change this,if not, I can't live with my conscience. I have to stop the way I feel because it is of no use anyways. It's all going to end one day too. There's no use. There's no reason why some things happen. Fear works into my days a lot nowadays too... I think I'm scared of some things and then... something wrong happens instead.
It's like We all have better days Problems getting all up In your face
Just because You go through it Don't mean it got To take control
~Just Stand Up by Various Powerful Female Singers
I just had to blurt all these out for future reference...
Lessons learnt: 1. Bring lots of material to read during break time. 2. There's a reason why birds of a feather flock together. 3. Your life will never ever go the way you exactly planned it. 4. You can never expect people to behave in a preset way. (implications are +ve or -ve)
One Republic, Jason Mraz, Ne-Yo, Piano Covers, Violin Covers
Frustrations: Wanting to play a lot of songs on the guitar but unable to.
School ends at 4 for most days... There's still morning assembly for next week. And Oral Presentation Preparation will start fully the week after plus MT lessons and I don't take MT anymore so this means that I will be slacking in school. Haiz...
This year doesn't feel so Raya-ish cos of all the exams... Guess only those who don't have to do PW can really enjoy.. haha...
Listening:
One Republic- Say (All I Need)
One Republic- All We Are
One Republic- Dreaming Out Loud
I am so left out in the music department cos I have no time to listen to radio charts anymore so I'm left to discover nice music on my own which isn't all that bad too. ;D AND listening with headphones is much much better... YERPS.
and Husna ahhhhh...one of the most interesting person I know.
She finds all the Jiwang songs and introduces me to things I never thought of before...through her blog tho. Mats singing under the block... yeah a peek into the people who I will never come within a proximity of a 1 meter radius to. But reaaallly nice voice huh. Good harmonising..
Imagine, you want to go to the mama shop, and you walk through the void deck and you hear this. Wahahah... I think I'll hide behind a pillar somewhere where they can't see me and listen till the song finishes. But I guess they sing at like... 2 am plus in the morning? woo hoo... all the Kutu Embuns...
And in a few minutes, a helium balloon with my name on it will be released from Heeren... WOO HOO.. Set me free. (:
;
4:11 pm
/
Osho said @ 1:01 am
1. The heart is always right-- if there's a question of choosing between the mind and the heart-- because mind is a creation of the society. It has been educated. You have been given it by the society, not by existence. The heart is unpolluted.
2. Mind functions in 'either/or' way: either this can be right or its opposite can be right. Both together cannot be right -- as far as mind, its logic, its rationality is concerned. If mind is 'either/or' then the heart is 'both/and.' The heart has no logic, but a sensitivity, a perceptivity. It can see that they both can not only be together, in fact they are not two. It is just one phenomenon seen from two different aspects.
The heart knows nothing of the past, nothing of the future; it knows only of the present. The heart has no time concept.
3. Looking at a sunset, just for a second you forget your separateness: you are the sunset. That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it. But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset, you are no longer feeling it; you have come back to your separate, enclosed entity of the ego. Now the mind is speaking. And this is one of the mysteries, that the mind can speak, and knows nothing; and the heart knows everything, and cannot speak. Perhaps to know too much makes it difficult to speak; the mind knows so little, it is possible for it to speak.
4. Don't move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love makes you move. Move the way joy makes you move. Goodnight moonlight...
Daryl, Thanks for coming down to see Christina and me...you know you make us smile. Haven't seen you for a long time. Sorry both of us still quite busy....
"The Reasons" - The Weakerthans I know, You might roll your eyes at this, But I'm so, Glad that you exist.
thanks, Brother, for everything. I know I have to swallow the bitter medicine so I won't hurt myself. I know whatever you say is right. I know it's painful but it's for my own good. Yaya... OK i will listen to you cos I don't want you to slap me...GRR.
AND STOP TALKING TO CHRISTINA ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.
Christina. YOU TOO AH. heh.
So. Mean. you ppl. But I still love you no problem..
1. "The Reasons" - The Weakerthans I know, You might roll your eyes at this, But I'm so, Glad that you exist.
2. "Left and Leaving" - The Weakerthans Those stains in the carpet, this drink in my hand, these strangers whose faces I know. We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say "I wanted it this way" and wait for the year to drown. Spring forward, fall back down. I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
3. "Love For Granted" – Phoenix I think about the time we wasted My loneliness has slowly grown I told you not to cross the line And leave me with your love for granted The letters from your broken heart I think I might have lost them somewhere
Don't tell me 'bout your lies Don't tell me 'bout your secrets
4. "Volcano" - Damien Rice What I am to you is not real What I am to you you do not need What I am to you is not what you mean to me You give me miles and miles of mountains And I'll ask for the sea
5. "Smoke" - Ben Folds Five Here's an evening dark with shame Throw it on the fire Here's the time I took the blame Throw it on the fire Here's the time we didn't speak It seemed for years and years Here's a secret No one will ever know the Reasons for the tears They are smoke
6. "Hundred" - The Fray It’s hard I must confess I’m banking on the rest to clear away Cause we have spoken everything Everything short of I love you
You right where you are From right where I am Somewhere between Unsure and a hundred
And who's to say it’s wrong And who's to say that it’s not right Where we should be for now
7. "Run" - Snow Patrol I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done
Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you can not hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, Louder And we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say
A wise girl once said, "You are what you listen to"
