YES Raihan lied to me in the name of a joke. In the morning when I was walking to class with Charlene, she told me that Raihan and her lied to Wei Shan about the juniors scores. It was actually 21-7 and we WON!!! I screamed at Charlene and really woke her up that morning. Haha. But Wei Shan didn't even remember about the joke played on her. HAha. Blur morningstones.
Ms Chng was in a good mood today. But she insisted that it was us who were too happy. She kept the whole class in suspense when she wanted to choose someone to answer her question.
"How many Rachels in this class?""2!"
"Where are they"we all point.
*silence* she looks through the class list up and down up and downSome of us asks Ms Chng to hurry up and say whoever's name/index no. We all laugh
"ELIZABETH!" but the way she says it sounds like ElizaBERT. Haha. She says Liz's name again this week.Our class board wasn't finished yet so all of us were scrambling to paint in some of the blank spaces. For History period, we touched up the class. It was BRILLIANT. If we don't win or get top 3 i'll be surprised. We worked damn hard lah. Especially Sharon. Drawing away and she wanted to get all the colours correct even though we had only the 3 primary colours to work with plus black and white and GOLD. It is wonderful. I will bring my camera and take pictures of it and post it here for the world to see. I love our class decorations so much that I can't help staring at it when the teachers talk.
After the physics lab remedial, i hurried to SPH for the Induction. Change is inevitable. Paul is leaving us for Tokyo for around 2-3 years. We had a cake for him and the song Tokyo Drift playing. I'll miss him. He was like a teacher and a father to us when we were in China. Mark is no longer the president but the newbie, Jessica. VP is Bryan and Mervyn. And I forgot who the exco was.
Asyikin, Mark, Krystal and Joanna came from the previous batch. Rajesh was interning there and Mark is just lepak-ing around for the first 3 months. Krystal DSA-ed into SAJC. Asyikin applied to ACSI (IB) and Joanna's at Milennia Institute. Samantha is at Serangoon JC. The rest I dunno.
We played "captain's ball", Wacko and twister. Good effort by previous batch to bond the new batch. I had to tell the new gang about my experience being in last year's batch and I told them about the BASKETBALL stint that I got to go on. HAha. THe presentation that they made had a lot of pictures of me in it. SHEESH. I miss it ALL.
Then, we had a professional group shot where for the first time I felt like saying "LIGHTS,CAMERA,ACTION!" haha. Bryan was being Cleopatra. Joe En the littlest one was hugged by him. We were pointing here and there and made a lot of noise even though we're not supposed to cos we were affecting the other journalists.
Then we had our own glamour shots taken. One happy one and one serious one. They said I looke emo in my serious one and made me laugh. Cos our NEW IN T-SHIRT IS BLACK!!! Woo hoo for the new shirt! I love my glamour shot. I didn't get to see it though.
I spoke to Hannah for the first time. And I got to know EVERYONE's names. I think Mervyn will really miss Rajesh and all the rest too.
Then Elsie blanja-ed me, Krystal and Joanna to Tampines Mall. Krystal went to take away a Vanilla at Coffebean. I went to buy new studs and we hugged each other in front of DMK. Gosh...the tears are falling away as I type. I LOVE YOU GUYS GREATLY.
I'll miss Asyikin for her funkiness and difference. I'll miss Krystal for her sisterness and her hugs and nudges which are really one of a kind. I'll miss Joanna for our talks together. I'll miss Sarah Ann cos we got closer during the trip. She told me about her family and her background. She is so unique and cool and her drawings which are so good are really what comes out of her brain and heart. I'll miss Mark for his lame-ness, his egoitism, his angmoh-mix chinese face. Rajesh for his food and his jokes. No one can get bored with him. His stories, his laughter, HIS HORRID face. haha...Samantha, I didn't get that close to her so I don't miss much. But her voice was sweet. And so was her face. I'll remember what that Chinese men in China said to her. "Beautiful and sweet was her name and face"
But it won't end here. We'll always go out together. Even though I missed a few outings
Labels: IN CROWD, school happenings
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2:09 pm
bye bye birdie and candlesticksbye bye A to Deeu already lost me
if you still think of me as suchif its not just one of ur MANY other friendsand the best part is you're not getting an answer from mecos I'm hurt.I was so stupidLook at urself in the mirror and REALLY reflectthat the world doesn't revolve around you.and etc.Labels: not even worth it
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2:01 pm
The cold woke me up today. The first of the raindrops had fallen. My sleep had been disturbed. My quilt had travelled far beyond my bed. I pulled it up around me. I checked my handphone. Time: 5.12 AM. Time supposed to wake up, 5.15. I went to snooze. Again and again. Actual time woke up: 5.45. But I was still EARLY! Yay. I have mastered the art of getting ready to school: Getting ready for school the night BEFORE.
Morning Assembly, I got my certificate for the Work Experience in front of the whole school. Haha. This is the second time in my Cedar life getting my name announced in front of the school. The first time was in Sec One getting a bronze medal for High Jump.
After E Math, the period before Jogging, it was still drizzling. Everyone was uncertain whether Jogging was still going on. Sec 4s were all uncertain. ALL of us didn't want to have jogging. We wasted so much time wondering that by the time we went down, the period was half gone. We still had to jog 2 rounds round the school. Anything lah. HAha. I feel good running though. Nowadays, I feel so good doing anything physical. Is this what it feels like to have muscles like Shi Wen? I miss her.
For History, we painted the class board. I got paint everywhere. There's a green smiley on my skirt and my arm. It's looking FINE, the board I mean with all the Samurais and Geishas. However, Ms Lizah changed our name to 4S-TRENGTH. So the samurais are going to represent strenght. The judging of the class decoration will be tomorrow. I really love 4C-LASSY and 4I-CE. I especially love 4I-CE. 4C has drapes and maroon backgrounds and ballerinas. 4I has a snowman and icicles and lots of snow. I feel really cold when I go in there. Whilst ours has a lot of colourful flowers so I feel kinda hot. Haha. 4N-OBLE is also really creative. They're doing the medieval theme. Theirs has a castle and a horse at the back. But they have to cover it with articles and notices soon. It's quite sad. 4Z has the Macbeth team. 4O has the retro theme. I think 4I, 4S, 4N stand good chances. 4C's one is not yet finished so I can't say anything. I really think this year's class deco is ALL very creative and well executed. May the BEST class win!!!
Oh, I PASSED MY A MATH DIAGNOSTIC TEST!!!!!! WEE HEE!
Labels: school happenings
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7:13 pm
I' M ALLOWED to have them
I wish that I took pictures with Walter Herrmann, Luis Scola Nocioni and Rudy Fernandez (in picture). But I was too awestrucked by Carlos Delfino. These people...GOSH. You don't even know them but when you see them, you KNOW they are big...and NOT just BODY MASS-wise. You don't even know how BIG they are in the world but you can just feel it until you shudder like u're in an ice box.
I'm talking about when they came for the Singapore Phillips Cup. Haiz.....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Singapore Basketball Association, MAKE ANOTHER ONE!!!!! but i will never have the opportunity to do that again.....UNLESS I become a journalist.
Everytime I go to Media Club, my passion just IGNITES. I suddenly KNOW what I want to do! I KNOW IT NOW! I love it when we discuss about what to right. In the beginning, everyone is quiet. Then I'll warm them up by forcing them to say something each. Soon, they're all talking. I feel so accomplished getting us to talk productively. To me, journalism is not just WRITING. It's getting a topic + looking at new angles to produce something that when people read they go "AAH...I didn't know that!" Then, my job will truly be done.
I love it that everything I do, some people would love to be in my position. Like IN Crowd for opportunities and experiences, like Netball for the bonds with friends that are so strong and will hopefully never break, like being in Editor for Editorial and BEING in Editorial with people who are open to ideas and want to make our part a better one, like having friends come to you even when you don't ask them to, having friends that MISS me when they're sick or missed school(I miss them too!). It's good to be in my life. I'm being hopelessly EGOISTIC about my life today. I am so grateful to Allah.
Labels: :)
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7:49 pm
Happiness is permanent. It is always there.What comes and goes is unhappiness.If you identify with what comes and goes, you will be unhappy.If you identify with what is permanent and always there,you are happiness itself.Papaji, 1910-1997Aye, I can be happy by not being crazy. Yes. Because when I do get crazy sometimes I lose myself. I've been feeling rather grounded and quiet lately. More serious about school work. More determined to clear all the homework before I reach home.
During recess, I sat with Muu, Filzah and Syikin for the first time this year. I realised how much I missed Muu. Long time never see her cos she was sick for a while. And I never had a chance to catch up with her. Shahini told me she was not going for recess so I sat with them. But then I saw her, Germs and Varru. After a while they saw me and headed my way. Shahini poked me as usual but they didn't move away after that. They were all crowding behind me! May TOO! Filzah felt remas with so many people standing around her, blocking her view of the rest of the canteen. I felt touched. It may be little but it means a lot to me that y'all find me. THANK YOU.
Parveen keeps laughing at me. Apparently she finds me amusing. Even when I'm serious. Muu and me thinks she is weird. I finally told her NOT to laugh at me again. PHEW.
Today is the FIRST day that there is no A math homework. PHEW. haha. I finally handed in my NYAA. BIG PHEW. YaYY two more points to that CCA list. I finally got my certificate for attending the "I Am Gifted, So are YOU" course. It has Ramesh, Gary and Adam's signature on it. Haha. I got it late cos there was a spelling error on my cert. I will get one more point for my Enrichment due to my Work Experience last year. I'll also be getting a cert for that tomorrow! It is under Enterprise so I don't need to take another module of that. But I'll do it for fun and experience too.
My PRINCIPLE: grab hold of opportunities!I had to stay back today due to Media Club ex-co meeting. I think we need a secretary. A new one, since Charu is always sick. She needs to type out everything properly again. And I think Wei Ting shouldn't be too suicidal, OK. Tests tomorrow are not the end of the world.
After that, I felt that I badly wanted to finish my NYAA and hand it in TODAY so I promised Sarah and Yasmin that I would pass the books to Mdm Faridah while letting me copy the stuff for Physical Recreation- Netball and Adventurous Journey: Outdoor Adventure Camp as we all have the same experiences.
Geraldine asked me to go to the Family Centre so I went there and saw Dr Bibijan. I said "Assalammualaikum" to her which means "Peace be upon you" and she looked at me in shock. She said that no malay Cedarian ever greeted her in that manner. I was surprised really. Haha. She said she was proud of me.
By the time I finished, it was 4.25 pm. Dr Bibi asked me if I wanted to solat Zohor and Asar in the counselling room so YEAH there's a new place for me to solat now! I have a plan. Study in CFC until Asar, solat Asar there and GO HOME HAPPY! YeSSS! She even offered to give me a lift home. Haha. But Shahini was already waiting for me outside so I told her that. How can a malay Cedarian accuse her of being a MAKCIK KEPOH??? This is so sad man.
About Shahini, I told her at first that I wasn't waiting for her. But I didn't know the meeting and the completion of the booklets would last that long so I went to the Robotics Room and peeked through the shutters. She was giving a speech and her eyes were so wide when she saw me. HAHAHA. That was a good surprise wasn't it Safiah? haha
Met Muu and Raihan at the bus stop on the way back. They just came back from C Div's match. 7-21 Cedar lost to St Theresa's Convent. Nevermind dears, we will bounce again. I can't go tomorrow for B Div's match. I'll try to make it next Monday.
Muu took 65 and Raihan took 8 with Shahini, me and Afiqah who is Imran's primary school friend. She knows both my Cedarian cousins and Farah. The world is small indeed. And shrinking everyday. But that's besides the point. Raihan was spreading germs to everyone on the bus. But Shahini's hair got the worst. Hahaha. Poor her, sneezing all the way. She used up 8 packets of tissue and finished that so I gave her mine. She's really in a bad state. Also, Ms Poon is her form teacher. I thought Ms Poon don't do form teaching! She's very strict thought. Raihan has 5+ offences and she's been put on probation on being an OAC instructor. But Raihan WILL change! And Raihan is very cute with her sore throat voice. HAhahaha
I want to document each day of this year. I don't want to find that I slipped by and don't remember and treasure how each day went.
Labels: school happenings
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8:58 pm
even though i have decided to stop
i keep learning something new about you
it humours me to know that
you complain about not having a social life
but in fact you do and it's bombastic
while i spend my after-hours putting something into good use,
i thank you because starting right now
i want to be better than you
ALWAYS be better than you
for now, i AM better than you
but since you are in an institute which promises a future of glory,
No one can deny the fact that you WILL be SUCCESSFUL
But no one will predict that I will be the BEST.
THIS IS MY PROMISE TO MY FUTURE
Labels: innermost thoughts
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7:06 pm
The first thing we did this morning was to to MAKE PRETTY GEISHAS. Even though they stand for being a mistress and sorts but they're still pretty high class and refined. Ms Lizah revealed to us that our theme for our class decoration is Japan. So that's why we have samurais and geishas and spring blossoms. We will be painting for the next SEL/ History period. Whee! Can't wait. But for today, we made origami geishas. And we had to name ours.
This is mine. I don't know what it's name is. Haha. But Geraldine had no trouble at all. That Geisha obsessed girl since that movie.
From left: mine, JING TING's and Rachel Tan's. I added that clip for her on its hair. Hahah. I still think mine's the best JING TING!!!
I can't stop singing today. This song is stuck in my head. Fly Away by Corrine May. My favourite local artist. After Taufik of course.
"When will you be home?" she asks as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go,
I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
Autumn leaves fell into spring time and silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly awayohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
It's a nice song. Full of meaning which you yourself have to decode.
After school, Shahini had Bio remedial. So I waited for her for an hour by doing my homework with Geraldine and Fatmah. I FINISHED everything!!! And while I was so busy focusing on the homework, Shahini came and poked me at that area above my hips. And I shouted the loudest SCREAM that I think the WHOLE SCHOOL could hear. Well...maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe only my junior netballers at the court, the trackers, the teachers in the staff room, the people in the canteen, the malay dancers doing who knows what on the courtyard, their lembut trainer, the people in the Sports Area... yeah that's it basically. HA-Ha. But still Shahini was not satisfied. She had to shock me again. And I really can't stand it when people do this to me while i'm "IN THE ZONE" cos I don't expect it. You can do the same thing to me all over again but I will still respond with SHOCK. AND while I was so busy being kuai and finishing my homework, Germaine and Shahini just HAD to make such a big racket, smacking each other, playing the scissors-paper-stone and the stretching game. Renuka said they acted like primary school children who had nothing to do. OF COURSE! haha.
AND GOOD NEWS: Sec 4S will be performing for Chinese New Year concert!!! YAY more points for US! WE rock! pebble! stone! boulder! and all of those formations. Haha. THis will be my second time performing for Chinese New Year, as an Earth Pig no less. Gosh!!! And...4C will be performing too which means, SHAHINI will be the Dragon. Something to do with why dragons are afraid of red. I think the storyline is very good! THeirs and ours. Good job to the scriptwriters!! And Germaine and Varruna will be acting too right?? I wonder which other classes got qualified...
Now after the tyra show at 6, I am going to study that two topics of Chemistry test I have left for tomorrow's test. I only did Periodic Table! I did a very nice mind map on it though. Ramesh will ask me to be proud of myself and he will be proud of me too....I hope. The last time I did mind map he scolded me! Haha. My heading was bigger than 2 50-cent coins and my sub-headings were too big and he emphasised on ONE WORD PER BRANCH. Alright I get it now. I love mind maps. I don't get it why Shahini doesn't.
I admitted to Varruna that I had I-MISS-RAMESH syndrome. But she says I'm obsessed with the guy. NO ok! The booster course for "I am Gifted, So Are You" was supposed to be today but Ms Ng didn't announce it this morning that it was cancelled. So everyone was asking each other but there was no one in the theaterette so WHEN will it BE!!!!! I NEED TO KNOW!!!
I submitted two ideas for IN. One will be an article on the Arena and the other will be a feature on the section for IN Thing or INSync (I HOPE) It will be discussed with Serene. Tessa said my ideas are FANTASTIC! Haha. YIPPEE!!!
I hope to contribute more than that one idea and two articles I did last year. So mere...
Ok...off to TYRA show. WOOHOO...and wtv Shahini, she's not behaving like Oprah. She's YOUNGER and more HIP and FUN okayy. And I love them both. ;)
Labels: school happenings
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5:29 pm
I'm catching up on all my friends' blogs and I realised that I've been focusing a lot on emotions lately. So I'm going to remind myself on all the fun stuff I had with my friends.
stole this from
Fatmah:Tuesday, the word of the day was: THUMBDRIVE. Filzah went wild and started wanting to stab everyone with her thumbdrive. Now, the thumbdrive itself is pretty harmless but say this out loud,"I AM GOING TO STAB YOUR BUTT WITH MY THUMBDRIVE"It sounds dangerous, very dangerous.We usually have PE on Wednesdays now so I can remember easily that part of our biweekly timetable. The first session, we measured our height and weight. Nothing to be surprised about, my height was still the same and my weight increased due to the holidays. The second session was PICKLE BALL! I partnered Geraldine as usual. Pickle Ball is fun as Ms Poon is as drama as usual. I just measured my weight just now. I lost 3-4 kg. WHEEPEE! So all that holiday fat is gone. The gears of my stamina has been oiled. Surprised me that I took 1 PE session and 1 Jogging session to do so. Oh and 1 Netball Training.
On Friday too, I helped with out Sec One Netball auditions, leaving Media Club earlier. It was fun to point out all the better sec ones and argueing with our Head Coach, Wei Li. It was like stock market, or an auction, or a debate. Haha. We were discussing the good points and bad points and who we really think should be in.
Wei Li was really nice though. She told those who were not shortlisted that if they REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to join Netball, they should come and appeal. Like I did! Haha. And I have no regrets that I joined cos everyone's envious of our unitedness and bonding-ness and we really are only we seniors just want the juniors to observe the line during training times. But other than that, we love each other to bits and pieces and we will probably make a Cedar Netball Clubhouse one day.
Throughout the week, Fatmah, I noticed, is still interested in pointing out Mats and Minahs and telling me what they said. Some of the stuff I think was pretty cool but I forgot all about them.
Our class is going to be FOUR SAMURAI cos we are 4S. And our mascot is a cow in samurai gear cos he's a saMOOrai. Haha. The art-commitee has come out with pretty good decorations. I LOVE the NOTICE BOARD at the front of our class.
And I noticed that I keep nodding off in periods where the teachers talk in a droning kind of voice. I don't CHOOSE to sleep, they hypnotise me! Talking like that, who wouldn't? Charlene and me nodds off during a math. And our solution to that is: Jing Ting will poke me above my hips and Fatmah will SPIT at Charlene. EEEW gross lah Charlene dear! haha. And how do you know you'll wake up whereas Jing Ting will just shock me awake!
During my first Social Emotional Learning(SEL) period, Ms Lizah asked us to divide ourselves in groups of 3-4. We had to take 2 kinds of pictures, one sweet and the other one, crazy. There was a lot of chaos in the Computer Lab. Geraldine was determined in getting a group picture of us: she, me, Renuka, Amira, Joy, Fatmah and Rasyiqah too. Rachel Tan had wandered in back to the computer lab so she missed it but she didn't look so sad. Out crazy shots were modest but not...haha. Funny.
And I found this joke on
Raihan's blog:
Student 1: What's ur name?
Student 2: Virginia. Virgin for short but not for long.
GOSH..dirty but funny.
Talking about jokes, Naif and Ayah War are the BEST joke tellers in the world. THey are so lame and crack me in the ribs from laughing!. Nadiah's ones are logical but since she's still young, we'll excuse her cos she doesn't really know what a joke is. Some of them are still funny though.
Netball tournaments have started. Am I so proud of our team for beating the rest! B Div against Henderson which was supposed to be good; CEDAR vs HENDERSON 29-16
and C Div against Crescent Girls; 16-0. WHOOPEE! we beat them man. Even though I do not participate physically, my spirit goes out to y'all! Continue the SPIRIT!
WE MUST
WE CAN
WE WILLCEDAR!!!Labels: school happenings
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10:22 pm
the wardrobe at the back of ur class is a good hiding place.
thanks to angela for showing that to us. ;)
i hope she works out everything that's going on with her.
i think that REALLY, she's a nice girl. she only has to smoothen out those problems and all will be ok!
oh did I say my new partner is TAN JING TING!!! I don't miss Han Nui cos we're not on the same frequency. I try to talk to her but she only ANSWERS my questions. But she is a very thoughtful girl. She still keeps that post-it label from me. And she gave me a cute Tigger keychain. hahaha. And I love her eyes.
Jing Ting doesn't mind my craziness. She just wants me to stop singing that Aqua song. "MY oh MY do you want to say goodbye. To leave me baby tell me why oh why!"
Haha. I shall not stop dear. And now I'm sitting by the window which is quite nice. Both the Rachels, Tan and Lam are sitting at the back of me. Lam has set up a fan on the window for those hot June days. WHEE!!!
Ms Lizah is our form teacher! I miss Mrs Choo for Physics but we still have her for Emath. I hope our class will be as responsive as that "mysterious and adventurous" Thursday. Mrs Yeo is now our Physics teacher. She knows all the netballers in the class cos she's our former netball teacher in charge. Mrs Low is now the IC. Now Mrs Koh has replaced Mrs Peh and Geraldine is VERY amused by that, I still do not know why.
Discipline in the school has risen up a notch. I'm quite glad cos I don't feel so easy when I see my fellow Cedarians in tight and short skirts. Now they are borrowing longer skirts from the rest of the Cedarians. Haha. Amuses me. Cos they spend the same amount to buy the skirt as they do to alter the skirt to suit their tastes.
Labels: in the classroom
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12:05 pm
law of attraction: rocks, proven method
I woke up feeling happy. And even though two things happened, it did not deter my happiness. At the end of the day, the rain made me cool.
You made me hide myself
Put a mask across my face
Cos you sometimes think that prettiness is all that matters
I don't weigh you with the blame
But you really put me to shame
Cos you're smart and you face pretty in the mirror
I wanted to get to know you
I start to peel myself
But still the soldiers guard my walls
I asked them why they are there
They said "Safiah, please beware."
But to them I didn't give a freaking care.
Now I know.
Now I know.
You told me plain as day.
That my mask on me must stay.
I can't show.
Who I really am.
I can't tell you
Cos you don't wanna give a damn.
But I know
who will accept me as I am
sometimes with sadness
or with pain.
cos they still know,
that this is me that's who I am
they can't change me
Anything will come and go
but my rocks will always be there.
Now I know.
You're just a flitting swan.
Come and go.
No impression have you left on me.
Still people strive to want you to be
with them. Cos you have everything they want
it's all on the surface. Didn't you say yourself.No matter we areYou'll be there
and now, the answer to your question isI DO NOT.as i do them
When you're with me
Expect the unexpected
If you can't then girl
See that sign it's called EXIT.I don't miss you.I won't save you.
I won't miss you.I'll not save you.
Labels: emotion, poems
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4:03 pm
stopping the pricks.
falling down ur face.
try ur best to avoid
this no fun place.
the lines have broken.
she's in pain as always.
what can you do.
you're a big disgrace.
ure so selfish.
she's on the bed.
a hundred thoughts and feelings
going through your head.
she sighs. you sighs
she's sad. you hate.
what's to be done? what's to be done?
no purpose. no fun.
no direction. no game.
each weekend, all night- same.
tv. internet.
books. magazine. friends.
she blames. you accuse
misunderstanding occurs.
you do what you gotta do.
you make no excuses.
you don't spill time.
you're a bearer of the hour.
you think hard and long.
what's the root of this difficult equation.
alas you must admit.
money is the root of all evil.
and SNAP you are helpless.
count the ways
to invest time
all is boring.
nothing's fine.
sometimes you wish,
you weren't born in this place.
but hold that thought again.
thankfulness just has to intrude.
you can't help but feel bad inside.
can't stop from feeling bad about feeling bad.
she lies on the bed.
always sick always sick.
do what you should.
do what they say.
you try to speak.
but silence fills ur lungs.
you do what you like best,
but something always comes to put you to the test.
the rest comes to rest.
you think they should be the one responsible.
to do something.
better than this crap.
but let's just wait.
come a new day.
come a new face.
we'll see surprises and joy.
hope and happiness.
i can't wait.
be strong girl.
Labels: innermost thoughts, poems
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7:19 pm
sometimes, i'll allow myself to wallow up in self-pity.
especially in times like this. where i lose a basic necessity that cost other people money that would be really handy right now. and it's not even my fault. at least i don't think it is. Does laundry disappear everyday? Oh gosh you clothes thingy...where are you???
and when i watched the tyra show yesterday and saw the resemblance of her and someone close to me who hurt me so. The freaking resemblance. How can they just pick up best friends so easily? Just like "HEY YOU'rE MY BEST FRIEND NOW!!!". Or am I just the one who cares too much.
Yeah I do. This year is my last one in Cedar. I keep thinking about it everyday. I do have some resolutions, to give all my friends a momento, on their birthday or whenever. I really want to cherish all of them before it's too late and we all look at our worst- crying. I guess I just want to give them a true impression of me when we part. Like they'll look back to their secondary school days and remember Safiah as the "crazy, funny, bossy, lame, caring, friendly, etc." girl. And this impression will last forever.
I still miss Ramesh and Gary and Leroy...I think about them almost everyday and about what they said. Their words keep replaying in my mind. Thankfully, I'll see them again next Monday for the Booster Course.
Today was the IN Crowd Editors' Tea. Saw all these new faces. And I got some ideas now that Serene has asked us to think of some. We'll be going Thailand this June, I hope. I gotta work hard so my grades pass my dad's standards.
And I was thinking that, even though this is random, independent vs. HOLLYWOOD. Doesnt't matter songs or movies. People assume that indie actors/singers/songwriters are more serious in their craft than the HOLLYWOOD ones. The actors themselves think so too. Many actors have converted to being INDIE after examining themselves. Apparently, HOLLYWOOD= FAME, FORTUNE but INDIE=REAL TALENT. Why? Don't you have to be good in Hollywood to tell a story through acting/singing and to convince the world that your product is good enough. Without talent where will you get in that world?
And freakingly true, I see some teens becoming like that too. What's so great if you listen to an indie band that no one has ever heard of? Are you more superior to others who listen to the TOP 40 and the BILLBOARD CHARTS? Like if I love NEYO or JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, im blending with the masses but if you like an emo rock band called Phantom of the Roses, or so, you're supposed to be more cool and culturally AWARE? OH SNAP!
Ohkay...I'm getting all Susmitha here. By that I mean emo and angsty. That image of her will stick to me forever.
Lately, I'm being that on a constant basis=angst. Ugh...sometimes I hate that word cos it's so not me. But I get frustrated with the world. I get frustrated with me. I know what Ramesh would say: "It's all in the brain"...
Anger, Nur, is a fabulous reminder that there are still a few things being misunderstood.
In all cases.
Same for impatience, despair and broken hearts, Nur.
The Universe
Labels: problems
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10:03 pm
hey
Universe,HOW DID YOU KNOW that i love
Cadbury's Fruit and Nut Chocolate. Yes, even though you're only a complete stranger frm another side of this world who sends out random and inspirational messages, the same ones, to all the people in the world, how can it be that you GUESSED correctly? COINCIDENCE?
Ramesh says there's no coincidence. Yes...one time in my past, i asked for someone like you to be sent to me to change my life. Tonight, you just gave me the peace to sleep. So I won't be thinking over and over again how to SET my PLAN into ACTION.
and did you know my people of this universe, that
I FELT my brain reorganise itself today while I was
sleeping in delta mode. I could see it categorising all the bits of that story book I just read before I fell asleep on the top part of Farah's bunk bed. Yeah...Imagine what I can DO NOW! Study and sleep...and I WILL BE A GENIUS!!!!
self love babe :)
Labels: the universe
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10:53 pm
Over the course of this course...heh...i
CRIED and LAUGHED like i've never done before......and my besties were all there, so we did it together. and
I LOVE GARY AND LEROY AND RAMESH! though i dunno how they are happy being someone they aren't, making ppl cry, and scolding us and forcing us and telling us to do mindmap ALL over again, and
FORCING us to
READ FASTER....to
PUSH ourselves
beyond our limits, with
lOUD music BLASTING in my ear. The competition that we faced...
13x3=39 hours of EXPLODING our brains, making more connections,
BEING A BETTER HUMAN BEING.
I wanted Mak and Bapak to come sooo much but they couldn't and I understand why.
I am so proud of Grace, Thilanga, Shahini, Fadilah, Wei Ting, Geraldine, Renuka for going up there and showing ur love and telling everyone that you'll be a better person and all of us should be proud of ourselves.
Fadilah, you were so brave! Even though it was the FIRST time you spoke publicly, you were the FIRST FEW to go up there. I LOVE YOU LIKE SIAO.
Geraldine, I LOVE YOU TOO. I appreciate you 4 being there, truly being there for me. I LOVE YOU LIKE SIAO.
Shahini, even though we forced you to do it, in the end you went up there BY YOURSELF. Many others went there with partners. I realised that's the first time I saw you cry and the first time I hugged you. I LOVE YOU LIKE SIAO TOO.
Grace, you were the first, you were the bravest and you dint even cry.
I never saw Adlin cry before. Nurin made her mum proud and she made us all laugh.
MOMENTS after that, we sang the Celine Dion song and Fadi with all the whoaaaooaos and yeeahhs.
and
GERMAINE, I'm sorry my tears fell on ur skirt. :)
Labels: emotion overload
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9:02 pm
If a bird who could fly, only wished for flight as it sat on a limb, before long it would be unable to fly.
Fly, Nur, fly!
The Universe
P.S. Same goes for anyone wishing anything, Nur, if all they do is wish.
Yes Universe, I learn in the Adam Khoo course "I AM GIFTED,SO ARE YOU!" that achievers and leaders LIVE by GOING for believing and reaching their goal but people who just EXIST only WANT,WISH and HOPE for that goal.
I WANT to be the best. I'll be having all A1s for my Os. I will work for it almost everyday. Because I know that there is no tomorrow. There is only NOW. I'll be doing my visionary board and putting it on my ceiling so it will be the FIRST thing I see when I wake up and the LAST thing I see when I sleep. I'll see it everyday and I'll BELIEVE in it. Then, something WONDERDUL will happen. I will begin to sub-consciously go for it.
Everyday when I wake up, I'll think a happy thought. "Life sucks" will not be part of my vocabulary. I'll think that "I FEEL AWESOME! IT'S WONDERFUL that I'm alive. Today will be the best day of my life" and once I start sending that message to you, Universe, I know you'll send it to me. I'll have the best day of my life EACH and EVERY day. Cos we know that it's THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.
And with the help of Allah, I'll live by EVERY DAY doing what I should do, LIVING and becoming a HUMAN BEING and not a HUMAN DOING. I'll love EVERYONE IMPORTANT in my life and those who deserve my love. I'll appreciate everything they've done for me. I'll send them the message that I love them everyday.
And one day, when I get everything I have, I know it's all because of ME, with the support of my FAMILY and FRIENDS and with the permission of ALLAH. I'll be THE BEST. Because if I BELIEVE in it, I'll GET IT because it will COME to me. I love you UNIVERSE and i know you love me. Because you're like a mirror. Because you're me. And it doesn't matter what people say. What matters is me.
Of course, Nur, you probably could have done something else entirely with your life, something easier or more common, and have been even more successful than you are today. But then, you wouldn't become as successful as you are about to be.
Remember, you wanted it all?
The Universe
P.S Or, Nur, were you just referring to the Cadbury Fruit & Nut Bar we were sharing? Either way, you are so on the right track.
Labels: the universe
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7:56 pm
Throw Away All Your Grudges
As we approach the New Year, it`s a good time to clean out the clutter in our lives. Sure, that means going through and disposing of useless papers and unused stuff, but it also means throwing away old grudges.
It has been said that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. A decision to hold on to a grievance is a decision to suffer. It extends the pain. And in a peculiar way, it gives the wrongdoer a way to hurt us again and again.
It isn`t easy to root out and release deep-seated resentments arising from hurtful words or deeds. Although sometimes we don`t remember the source of the resentment, other times we recall the incident so vividly that it still evokes a fresh torrent of negative emotion. But no matter how justified or self-righteous we feel about our grudges, we`ll be healthier and happier if we get rid of them.
Confucius said, "To be wronged is nothing unless we continue to remember it." A grudge dwells in dark memories, often deliberately revived as if reliving the hurt will somehow punish the person who caused it. In fact, we hurt ourselves far more.
Ideally, we should forgive and forget, but if we`re not ready to forgive, we can forget, or at least repress the temptation to dwell on whatever it was that made us so angry. When we let go of our resentments, we pave the way for forgiveness -- a final act of virtue and mental health.
We also free ourselves from the past so we can live better in the future.
From Michael Josephson reminding me that character counts.
The Six C`s of Character As you consider your goals for the New Year, I hope you`ll think about working on your character. After all, the best road to a better life is to be a better person, and all of us can be better.
One of the best ways to do this is to focus on the Six C`s of Character: conscience, courage, consideration, compassion, confidence, and control.
First, be a person of conscience. Listen to the inner voice that helps you know right from wrong and urges you to do what is good and noble.
Second, be courageous. Confront the challenges and choices of your life forthrightly. Make the tough decisions that need to be made and, above all, maintain your integrity by doing what you know to be right even when it costs more than you want to pay.
Third, be considerate. Be more deliberative, thoughtful, and attentive as to how your words and actions will affect others, and reflect on your character. Think ahead so you can avoid undesirable and undesired consequences.
Fourth, be compassionate. Demonstrate a genuine concern for the well-being of others. Be kinder and more charitable. Strive to understand more and judge less.
Fifth, be confident in your capacity to overcome whatever difficulties come your way with integrity and dignity. Don`t underestimate your resiliency. Resolve to persist until you prevail.
Sixth, be in control of your emotions, appetites, and urges that tempt you to compromise your principles or sacrifice long-term goals for short-term indulgences.
Remember, your character is your destiny.
From Michael Josephson reminding me that character counts.
Looking Backward and Forward
As we throw out last year`s calendar and break out a new one, it makes sense to look backward at where we`ve been, inside to assess where we are, and forward to where we`re going.
Henry David Thoreau urged us to set priorities, warning that "Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify."
John Greenleaf Whittier reminded us that our future is often the harvest of our actions: "The tissue of the life to be, we weave with colors all our own. And in the field of destiny we reap as we have sown."
Lincoln added another dimension: "In the end, it`s not the years in your life that count. It`s the life in your years." He also said, "A person is generally as happy as they are willing to be."
Ralph Waldo Emerson urged us to find the spark within: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
According to Robert Byrne, "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." And the Prophet Mohammad instructed that: "A man`s true wealth is the good he does in this world."
I`ll conclude with the observation of Rabbi Harold Kushner: "Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Those rewards create almost as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so our lives matter, so the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it."
From Michael Josephson wishing me a Happy New Year filled with meaning and purpose and reminding me that character counts.
Labels: character
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7:46 pm
Whatever dreams you're dreaming,
May each one of them come true.
Whatever plans you're making,
May they all work out for you.
And may you have more happiness
Than any words can tell.
Not only on this day,
But all the year as well.
Author Unknown But Greatly Appreciated!
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8:25 pm
I love it that everything I do, some people would love to be in my position. Like IN Crowd for opportunities and experiences, like Netball for the bonds with friends that are so strong and will hopefully never break, like being in Editor for Editorial and BEING in Editorial with people who are open to ideas and want to make our part a better one, like having friends come to you even when you don't ask them to, having friends that MISS me when they're sick or missed school(I miss them too!). It's good to be in my life. I'm being hopelessly EGOISTIC about my life today. I am so grateful to Allah.
This is mine. I don't know what it's name is. Haha. But Geraldine had no trouble at all. That Geisha obsessed girl since that movie.
From left: mine, JING TING's and Rachel Tan's. I added that clip for her on its hair. Hahah. I still think mine's the best JING TING!!!