N U R S A F I A H

Saturday, December 22, 2007/

The Past Is Good (in small doses) @ 1:04 am

I love my life right now. All the "live your life to the fullest" talk, yeah we've heard about it. I really do enjoy my life. And I want to keep having this feeling till I'm old and grey. I don't wanna do anything that will hook onto my conscience like a piece of metal that'll sink me to the seabed. And because of that, I sometimes wonder if keeping in touch with my past life is an investment for the happy-ness of my future.

Because so far, I kind of feel a sense of discomfort and instability with the life connecting me to my past. Maybe it's because my past life continues to be what it is, my past. The now and the new do not make themselves known to me. For that, I feel that my past has become a stranger to me. Who are they? Do I really know them? I can't start a decent conversation for goodness sakes and why am I the only one trying here? Is it better to be what it is now? Pretending that I am okay when I feel so detached? Should I just let go and forget? Start a new life? There are tens of people who are surprised that I still have a link with my past. For them, it was only a few years and then, the relationships just wasn't strong enough to withstand the tests of distance and distractions.

I find myself surprised to discover that the people who I eventually relate to are the people that I have not really made an effort to keep in contact with over these 4 years. Am I trying too hard? The new year awaits the potential of a fresh start for these abandoned friendships. Or should I even try to start it? The risk of a pattern is there. I'm scared. What if?...there are so many of these.

What's the use of an online social community anyway when you can't keep track of the important stuff in someone's life? Friendster, Hi5, Facebook, i think it's all for show. How can one achieve a lot in life when keeping a strong online presence is a priority? Why did I join Friendster anyway? Oh cos someone persuaded me to do so. What good did I get from that? Why did I start a Hi5 account? Because I was invited by those annoying mass invites. It was the trend. Friendster, Hi5 and now Facebook. Who knows what the "in" website might be in the future? And knowing a personal detail through this machine we call the "internet" is just so convenient. There's no need for the effort to text someone , no need to use that tiny ounce of muscle effort to press the little keys on that little gadget that you take around everywhere with you. On the internet, you post something and days after the BIG NEWS is still there...it may be old news but it'll still be big. Or you can look at the downside and say that if this machine wasn't around, if the websites were not built, then the people would never know. Or they could know and they'd get hurt. Well then, I just hope, in the future, if you tie the knot, the people around you, the important ones better not learn about it through this way.

And maybe because of this "I wanna be happy everyday" feeling, I don't want to tread on the path which will promise me a future financial safety net. Maybe I'm the kind who would do anything, keeping in mind that it's legal, as long as it keeps me wanting to live life everyday and waking up with a WHOOPEE!, giving allowances for several reluctant tosses and turns. My plan for the future includes getting married and having children...and thus having a happy family with all the ups and downs in the package. I don't wanna be no women powerhouse with all the calls and laptops and meetings here and there. I wanna stay at home and juggle business and family. I want to wake them up to a morning of an exciting breakfast everyday. I wanna bring them to exciting places everyday. And I want to enjoy everyday of it. Everything I do now is for the future. The situation now scares me a bit. All I can do now is just prepare. Think up of all the possible scenarios and gather my reserves. Stock up. Then choose the way which most makes this happen.

I can't deny it as much as I would love to. The past really made what I am today. All the embarrassing times, the good ones, the laughter, the tears, all the stuff I wish I hadn't done, all the stuff that I wish I did, all the things I wished I didn't say or did. But the past is over and I got to move on with my life as much as they have moved on with theirs. I really shouldn't dwell upon it but still as I'm typing this, I feel that things could have been so much more better between us. We could have been more involved with each other's life. But we did not pass the test of distance and distractions. IT was too much of a hassle. And I'm never a failure because of this.

Now, I'm about to start a new chapter. Sure people from the past will always be in the future too but they may not be in MY future. I have no control over this, it's fate. But I hope the ones who are good for me, and the ones who I'm good for will always have a piece in my story.

Labels: life talk

a lyfe* like mine-; 1:04 am

Wednesday, December 19, 2007/

life: revamp @ 7:22 pm

After a looong time of busy-ness, I had to go to a dental appointment again. WITH SHAHINI! Had a lot of catching up to do. I found out that she stopped working TWO days after she started. What a pity...no more moolah. Hais..at least now she can follow me around and do all the stuff that she promised me that we will do! YAYZ! I don't want to think what will happen when I go to JC and she goes to POLY. We will not be in the same school for the first time. I hope we'll still stay close because we've known each other for half our lives....8 long years. Haha....ok i feel so random,...and SICK....stoopid sinus.

And stoopid gap. Because of it, I can't take off my braces yet...which means I'll start the new year with braces! Haiz...

On the bus, we saw this ex-Gongshanger. And her younger sis was staring at me in a sickly adoring way....staring at me...up and down...up and down...and so blatantly doing it. She was about 4-6 years old. And her eyes was soo big...I felt a bit creeped out.

Anyyway, NEW blog design....yes I KNOW i still haven't updated about Thailand or the Media CLub Camp.

One by one ok....i'm revamping my life.

Agenda:

HAPPY HARI RAYA HAJI!

Party with Cedar Media Club ppl

Party with IN Crowders

New life at TPJC starts in 2 weeks! I want a longer holiday... I am not prepared. I haven't learnt how to cook for goodness sakes!

People who I know who's in TPJC.

1. That girl with the curl wurly hair but I forgot her name.
2. KAREN LO!!!
3. Shahruddin
4. Amira Razali
5. Husna
6. Maisarah
7. my cuz, Najihah
8. Atikah (madrasah masjid kg. siglap)
9. Arif

Btw got this from Liyana.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

a lyfe* like mine-; 7:22 pm

Monday, December 17, 2007/

hady YAY @ 6:56 pm

I have seriously changed my mind about hady now. LOVE LOVE hady! love how he is so quiet and humble and just himself.

but i love taufik > hady. if you don't get that, you don't get MATHS

When questioned, all the judges thought that Mau from Phillipenes would win or Mike from Indonesia. Deep in my heart I really wanted HAdy to win, who wouldn't want their own country to succeed even though Taufik would be more of a help. I thought that we had no chance again their powerhouseful of vocals. When Daniel announced he won, I must have felt as shocked as Hady, that's why he went weak in the knees. I somehow, opened my mouth so wide it got stuck. I gaped like a gulp of a goldfish. N i started to tear. Tearing cos of Hady, just imagine how he was feeling, tearing for Singap0re, how this would really help us.

Let me further elaborate how this would be of a benefit to Singapore.

ONE: *POOF* to steorotype that Singapore has no singing talent.
TWO: Hello! to people starting to be aware of Singapore's talent
THREE: *POOF* that Singaporeans are just "study.study.study" because we can "SING.AND.WIN"

And let me now tell you my theories of HOW in the world (or asia) DID HADY WIN ASIAN IDOL:

1) Taufik's self written song spoke out to all the malay speaking countries of ASIA ie: Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia. And to the countries which didn't understand the languauge, the tune was enough already. It tugged at their heartstrings, it called out to them, it was singing the songs that was always in their heart to which they have not found the tune...ok being drama. I really think Hady's english song was a bad choice.

So in taking into account how Taufik's song REALLY helped Hady A LOT, Taufik is a winner too. So I am really thankful to the peoples who chose Taufik's song to be included for including Taufik, in a way, in Asian Idol. Therefore, it is my belief that Taufik won Asian Idol too (:

2) Hady has a more commercial type of look compared to the others. And in idol, sometimes looks>voice. Anyhoos, Hady has an ok type of voice depending on the song. Not necessarily the IL DIVO type of voice but the FREEDOM type of voice?? Definitely.

3) The third one is a bit sensitive. So you gotto ask me for it. (:

4) They showed that there is a Hady fan club in Indonesia....THERE IS??? imagine the fan clubs for Taufik...so my fourth theory is that TAUFIK and HADY's fan clubs voted for Hady. Fan Clubs from Brunei, Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia. POWER!

The result show was the most spectacular results show Ive ever seen. I love "Made in India". It was one of the songs I had to dance to in k1 with my classmates and I had the costume for it and all the kaboobles. I love Peterpan singing one of their hit songs and Abhijeet singing in Hindi to the tune. I love Jaclyn Victor and Hady Mirza's KABOOM of a duet out of Freedom.

If you must know, I voted twice,

SIN INDIA

SIN MAL

hahahaha

that's all I could afford. I'd like to think I played a part.I hope, with Singapore and Hady winning the Asian Idol crown, Singaporeans would have more faith in our local music industry. Please, push away the steorotypes that Singapore has no singing talent, or that the ones that we have are KENTAL. Nope, as Asia has voted. Clearly, if they don't think so, we should't too.

"Give our singers a chance. Give our Singas a chance."

To those who are sooo naughty as to have missed the spectacular and emotional show, can catch a repeat telecast of the Asian Idol Performance Show on Thursday 20 December at 4.30pm and the Results Show at 6.30pm.

Labels: idol

a lyfe* like mine-; 6:56 pm

Friday, December 14, 2007/

the holiday chalets @ 4:49 pm

It's been a long time since I blogged. Sorry about that. It's not that I don't wanna but because

a) No time
b) too tired
c) Internet lagging
d) Not at home
e) Brother using computer

Now that I have many people asking to UPDATE SAFIAH UPDATE!, i am induced to update about my life. Hee...

Primary School Reunion Chalet
somewhen in November

This reunion wasn't just a class reunion, the WHOLE batch was invited.ok...umm...met Nana at the interchange. Then we went to Ahmad's bus stop. And we took taxi from there. Ahmad blanja! And it started drizzling....and the day was wet....so it was really frustrating and a little bit cold.

then we met Shila, Rachel, Christopher and Kamal in front of Macs.'

then we met Izwan and Adli in the Chalet room. We played detective and murderer, what a pri sch game, thanks to MY suggestion. Hee...and Heart Attack. Then Leon came and we played Taiti. I talked to Leon a lot.

Then Kamal and Christopher started the bbq...and FOOD came. By this time, the 60 pieces of soggy tempura chicken nuggets that I brought was now in the stomachs of my friends. Hardy haha.

And then someone started talking about Zi Zheng. Was he coming? Why did anyone not invite him. And did anyone have his number? I bet it was Leon. They were close last time in p6. So I was the only one who had his number and I had to call him. My persuasion skills must be no.! He kept saying "sian ah". Then i was frustrated with his "Sianzing" that I told him if he wanted to come , just go to the address of our chalet. 10 mins after, he sms-ed saying he was on bus no. 21. THAT WAS FAST! The first thing I thought when I saw him walk through the door was "Wow , he looks good now." and I told him just that. Ha-ha. I couldn't believe the transformation...it wasn't soo obvious but I could see that he wasn't so shabby anymore. Haha.

Then FOOD! And Firathul Fariz came. He is soo bulky now with his muscles. All that gym work paid off. I think it fits him. It may not fit on any other person. Anyway food was bbq-ed chicken marinated by Ahmad and Adli. And Macaroni cooked by Shila's sis. And some fishyball. Xin Ning and Phay Key came too.

Then Dian came and she didn't really mix around with people much when she arrived. She suddenly came to us and said "Wait, I need to talk to someone first." She tugged on my arm. "Can I talk to you?" So I led her to the front of the chalet. We were at the bbq pit originally. And we talked...and this is private. (:

Then we as one big group played a lot of Taiti. And we walked to the beach and sat under a pavillion and talked and talked. I learnt that the boys were soo horny and this was unbelievable! haha...but they are boys right? Let's wait for 10 years when we're 26 to see if they've become men. Well all was except Leon and Zi Zheng. I think Zi Zheng didn't understand most of what they're talking. haha.

I wasn't sleeping over so I asked around who was going home. Fariz wasn't sleeping over and so was Zi Zheng. I asked Zi Zheng if I could go home with him cos we live quite near each other. And he said ok. I asked Fariz if the 3 of us could go home together too and he said "see first". Then Riazul, Fairuz and Izman came. Fairuz lost a LOT of his baby fat...but we didn't talk much. I think Izman changed the most. Appearance and behaviour. The 3 of them kinds looked like triplets. Same white shirt, same dyed hair, same styling of hair, same colour of shirt:white.

After taking pictures, I wanted to go home. I asked FAriz if he wanted to go off but he said he'll go home at 1 am...crazy. It was 11pm already. Midnight was my deadline. I was being Cinderella. And Zi Zheng kindly said, ok i go home with you now. Now who's the only gentleman there? Zi Zheng... what a dissapointment for the rest. Zi Zheng was my table partner in p5 and p6 so he knows me pretty well too. Just as we were about to leave, I heard someone call my name so we had to turn back. Turns out Phay Key's dad could give us a lift! SO WOOHHOO!! i'd be on time and safe! and no need to pay! hahaha Phay Key, Xin Ning , me and Zi Zheng rode the cab.

And I was happily ever after, contented.

PICTURES HERE( not any that a good photographer will be proud off):

from left: the backs of ahmad, adli and izwan

what are xin ning and phay key pointing at?

Nana, Xin Ning and Phay Key. Fariz's hand in the way sheesh!

Christopher dilligently keeping the fire going.

Someone forced, I think it was Leon, these two Girl Guides to start the fire cos they are supposedly pro at it. Haha! And they are!

Fariz and his coloured contacts!

Leon (left) my ex next- row-mateand Chua Zi Zheng, my ex-table partner.

Our nice night walk. Shila, left, and Nana, right. And the rest at the back

Group shot #1. Spot me!

Top row: me, Dian, Kamal and Fariz. 2nd row: Shila, Ahmad, Nana, Eddie, Izwan and Mrs Low ( 6.1's ex-form teacher, not mine, I was in 6.6) In front: Rachel. Lying down:Adli

me n ahmad

In the middle of it all, it rained and the charcoal and all was drenched. Luckily, we saved the food.

Netball Farewell Chalet
somewhen after the above event

I rode the bus which had no aircon. The bus driver stopped in the middle of Bedok and asked everyone to go off. I wasn't even feeligng hot lah pls. But I was late! So I told GC to wait me at pasir ris interchange. I took a bus back to Bedok interchange instead of waiting for the bus to downtown EAst. Then I met GC at the Pasir Ris interchange, full of complaints. We made our way to the Aloha chalet. Met Wei Shan and Syaza on the way.

Reached there. I think they rented the same chalet, the exact one, as the one we rented two years ago. That was cool. Haha...that chalet can be known as "The Cedar Farewell Chalet" hahax.
We went up to the second floor and the first thing that happened was I was surrounded by paparazzi! hahahaha. Pictures TIME!

We were locked up at the second floor room like some Rapunzels, not allowed to go down to the second floor. Even the window that allowed us to look down to the first floor was sealed with a black garbage bag. This reminds me of one exercise that we had to do in school last time. When we were allowed to go down, it was all black. But 3 points of lights could be seen on the floor...ooh! CANDLES! Despite the darkness, we saw black U-shaped pillows with our initials on them....so nice! it was sewn by them so it was nice to see uneven stiches and all that. haha. Irdayu then presented us our cake. It tasted like brownies. But was delish! THen we went out and they played us the Graduation Day song by Vitamin C. And each junior gave each graduating senior a candle and a notebook designed by Debbie. If only I had the picture now. I'll go grab it from someone. Then we played the most funny Simon Says I have ever played. They really had us. The most PRO Simon Says player: Irdayu

Then we went in to watch a movie of us growing up...since Sec1. Haha...then at the last part all the Ghosts came out to haunt us...Anooja put that in right! hui Yin cried and I was shouting away.....it was the Jap ghosts at the grave, crawling on the floor...some laughed but I was screaming...AIYOOO man...

When it ended Irdayu stood up and said "I found this by the sink. I don't know who put or who write" It was a piece of toilet roll. She read it out and they were instructions for a night walk. The starting was the bicycle rental shop. Must be in pairs. Must mix around with levels. Cannot be at one spot for more than ten minutes. ...aand RIGHT after the stoopid ghost images....I think that was the best Farewell ever. But I had to leave because of curfew, it was 9.30 pm already, and also because I was scared. Also, Yin Ning's parents came to pick her up and I could get a free ride to the MRT plus company. Haha....so I wouldn't be alone at any point of time....OK OK I'm a freaked out coward. hahahhahaa. nyeh nyeh. SO what! Malita and Ranjani came too. I snatched a piece of chicken wing, bbq-ed, and left the building....someone fill me up on what happened later ok.

I'll compile pictures later.

Labels: vacation

a lyfe* like mine-; 4:49 pm