RESULTS
LAPTOP!!!
violin lessons
slippers
shoes LIFE LISTx)
write a HIT book
travel all over the world
buy a yacht
own a company
scuba dive
volunteer with Riding for the Disabled Assoc.
Listening to Haru Haru... somehow, I really like how it sounds, especially when you're feeling kinda low.
I told Muhaina a lot of things. She's the only one who knows everything.
All my ramblings. Even though I didn't really like to talk to her about our religion cos I know who she is. Still, she's the most solid ground I have right now. Cos Shahini is somewhere in Limbo.
And it's weird how... everyone has problems all at the same time. It's weird how everything happens all at the same time. It's weird how some of them find me all at the same time. It's weird.
Right now, a lot of people want me to talk to them but I just want to be alone. But because there is this thing called love, I shall overlook this matter and call the hurt person now. Well maybe after this. Hrmm...
Haiz... I guess that's what true love is huh? I guess that's what true volunteering is about.
When you don't really see any benefit for yourself. When you don't think that it can even bring you happiness. When you can only see that by helping that person, you'll help that person and that will make the person feel better. Even though you really feel low. Because you know, that person really needs your help. Even if by helping that person, it will really not bring any good to you, or any bad. It just... is like that. That's what's been kinda in my head since the Tea Session for Camp Vivant! Which I'm not sure I will go to even if I get accepted in. Because I need to spend time with my family. I need to give them one month of my time from the rest of the 11 that the school took from me, that the ministry took from me.
And then, even more, I've begun to think about what true love is. I never really thought about it, I kinda just accepted it as what it was. They always say that a mother's love is always true. Well for most sane mothers. But I never really understood why. I guess it's cos a mother really really never thinks about herself. Even if it's the last thing she'd rather do for her family, she'll still do it if it's for the benefit of her family. I guess that's what I am beginning to learn. Even though I'd rather hang out with my friends till late, spend the whole day/ night online talking to some people, I would have to entertain my brother, take care of him, make him happy. Even though it does make me smile when I see him smile, it gets tiring when I come home really tired or just want time alone, really just want time alone. Even though I have no mood.
I guess my other brother is beginning to learn that too. I can see the change in him. He used to always think about himself. I used to argue with him to be more selfless, think about other people more. It's not that I'm perfect but just.. it's harder for guys to accept. Furthermore, for him, he was the baby of the house for 14 years and now there's a newcomer. I was the only child for only two years and I don't even remember what that felt like. He was the one who got to be manja for all his life. So he took a longer time to adjust.
See? Everything happens for a reason.
But I'm thankful cos I remember how I asked God everyday, every prayer time for another sibling. I didn't know why I wanted one. I think, even with my brother around, it got lonely. Cos we were growing apart. I'm thankful cos Ilhan brought the whole family together. We learnt how to be stronger. We learnt how to be selfless. I learnt how to sacrifice for Ilhan. It's really wonderful how he came into our life. I still remember the shock when my mum told me the news. How I was so happy I couldn't believe it but I was so thankful. So thankful I wanted to cry. I never till now, I never regret having a baby brother this late in my life. The gap is big, yes. I get mistaken for his mother sometimes, yes. But he is my training course. He prepares me for when I have mine in the future, insya'allah.
**Break to call*** gotta put aside this feeling for a while.
OOOOOHHHH. BIG BANG GOT NEW ALBUM NEW ALBUM!!!
Oh gosh. Man, seriously, the last time I felt so excited when any artiste came up with a new album to was Taufik Batisah. Anyways, acoustic acoustic acoustic version of Haru Haru... this means... CAN PLAY ON GUITAR>>>>>>> aaaahahah.
ok obviously I'm kind of happy now. Nyahah....
Big Bang- Haru Haru (Acoustic Version)
I guess, it's how the songs make me feel. Anyways, I just don't like the rap part, the original sounded better for that right?
Big Bang- Sunset Glow [붉은노을] MV
This is so cute. HAHAHA. And happy happy happy.
ooh and xtina, shuttup. I chased after her, fell, n i think tmr i will have a big bruise on my face and hips so don't think like, tailong beat me up or something. Though tt would be v nice... like exciting huh? "oooh i got into a fight cos I was being gangster girl" HEHEHE...
Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince International Teaser Trailer, Lies by Big Bang @ 10:16 pm
Nyehe... All I'm doing nowadays is just putting up videos eh? I'm too bothered to type what I feel. (:
Anyway, the cinematography looks amazing, as usual. There's an increasingly darker atmosphere. And the last bit is quite funny.
Hermione: *Snaps fingers* HEY! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the chosen one. Harry: But I am the chosen one. Hermione: *knocks Harry's head* Haryy: Okay sorry...um..kidding *blinks blinks*
NYAHAHA. Male ego. Tsk tsk.
Ohkay and this is the third Big Bang song that I'm really into. LIES. (:
But increasingly, Majimak Insa (Last Farewell), Haru Haru (day by Day) and Lies are beginning to sound similar that it's all one big remix in my head. !!
I was kinda going *rolls eyes* when the guy pushed the girl away and smothered the dead guy's blood all over him so that it would make him appear the murderer instead. Corny lah... ahaaha.
Then, there's a remix! Wahahah... I'm spending way too much time watching Big Bang on youtube. Seriously....
Ok Shafienas says the class going to watch HSM 3 tomorrow and then, maybe I'll buy shoes at BHG's sale. If not, I'll wait for the end of year sale. And I think I'm going to get myself a new pencil case ! (:
Just try sticking to it. The first time I watched it, was kind of turned off because of the over use of rap and the proximity of the guys arguing with each other. Haha. But I didn't know the story. You just got to stick for a while to know the whole thing eh? But it's quite saaad. Reminds me of one MV which one SPH intern showed me in the bus on the way to some tourist place in China. But that was sadder I cried at that one. Oh man. I was so embarrased I had to hide myself. Yeeks. Sometimes, the feelings just get too uncontrollable and we can't think. We just let the feelings consume us. And sometimes, I feel better after letting it all out. But sometimes, when there's a need to cry, but I just can't, that's when sad movies/ music videos come in, and the Koreans do it the best. (:
This is the same song, but a different version. Also, I think this translation is better. But the first one has a better storyline.
1. "The Reasons" - The Weakerthans I know, You might roll your eyes at this, But I'm so, Glad that you exist.
2. "Left and Leaving" - The Weakerthans Those stains in the carpet, this drink in my hand, these strangers whose faces I know. We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say "I wanted it this way" and wait for the year to drown. Spring forward, fall back down. I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
3. "Love For Granted" – Phoenix I think about the time we wasted My loneliness has slowly grown I told you not to cross the line And leave me with your love for granted The letters from your broken heart I think I might have lost them somewhere
Don't tell me 'bout your lies Don't tell me 'bout your secrets
4. "Volcano" - Damien Rice What I am to you is not real What I am to you you do not need What I am to you is not what you mean to me You give me miles and miles of mountains And I'll ask for the sea
5. "Smoke" - Ben Folds Five Here's an evening dark with shame Throw it on the fire Here's the time I took the blame Throw it on the fire Here's the time we didn't speak It seemed for years and years Here's a secret No one will ever know the Reasons for the tears They are smoke
6. "Hundred" - The Fray It’s hard I must confess I’m banking on the rest to clear away Cause we have spoken everything Everything short of I love you
You right where you are From right where I am Somewhere between Unsure and a hundred
And who's to say it’s wrong And who's to say that it’s not right Where we should be for now
7. "Run" - Snow Patrol I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done
Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you can not hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, Louder And we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say
A wise girl once said, "You are what you listen to"
I should have asked to buy Ne-Yo's new CD instead of Jason Mraz. Nvm... when I get da money. Hehx.. xP NeYo makes me want to study harder so I can BE the BOSS in the future. HEH. Good job Safiah. You listen to inspiring music ^^v. But why does his song revolve all around the same thing? aahah
Miss Independent... Nyeh. pays all the bills on time. Wahaha... yeah yeah.. Certainly the Year of the Gentleman...(HIM)
and in his MVs it's like his wearing the SAME type of clothes...ooh tis the Gentleman theme.. haha. RIGHTS
I remember at one time I din't like Ne-yo much. I only started liking his songs after this couple danced to his song- Because of You on So You Think You Can Dance. That was really good. I only listen to him cos I really miss Usher... Believe me, I'm eclectic in taste.
Closer (piano cover) by David Sides. I must say, he's nailed it! wow.
CHRISTINA, i suddenly miss you a lot... gosh it's cos of Exam periods, I don't see you around a lot. SEE YOU VERY SOON!!! ayz i still haven't given you your birthday present and it's IN MY ROOM! haha... yeah yeah..
SADELENA, you bought a (RED) iPOD you!!! aahh! Ok ok.... fiine. I'll be rich one day.. nvm
FADILAH, what a hoot when you added Shahini and me and Hafez on the convo. Nyeh... and then, baik ah you just left us like that w/o saying Goodbye. Nyeh. I prefer proper closure anytime...
DIAN, though this is random, I really felt that we grew apart. I miss the times when we were close. I still love you babe. Let's make a joint birthday bash next year? Till then, see you when we have the Primary school, raya outing...
It's kind of a sad song but hopeful. I really like some parts of the song. And I don't intend to watch Prince Caspian. It's just many people said this song is nice, and it is. (:
It started out as a feeling Which then grew into a hope Which then turned into a quiet thought Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder 'Til it was a battle cry I'll come back When you call me No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing Doesn't mean it's never been this way before All you can do is try to know who your friends are As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon And follow the light You'll come back when it's over No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning It's just a feeling and no one knows yet But just because they can't feel it too Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger 'Til they're before your eyes You'll come back When they call you No need to say goodbye
You'll come back When they call you No need to say goodbye
colloseum and SONGFEST! and the week in digital snapshots @ 8:37 pm
1. Monday- Jannah (MJ)'s bday...SEXY SEVENTEEN!
JANNAH SEXY SEVENTEEN!
1. Shafienas bought Jannah a cream roll from the Recharge stall From left; Fazari, Siti, Me and Shafienas. We all stare at Jannah eating the cake longingly...except Shafienas...since she is so happy that she bought Jannah a present..
2. We all TRY to get a bite. Fazari wants to snatch. Jannah says "OI!" Siti wants to hit Jannah with a ....shoebag?! Shafienas says....let's drink this drink instead!
3. At the end of the day, the nice one gets a feeding from the birthday girl while the naughty Fazari sulks at one corner...
Family photo! Missing in picture: Shafiq and Nadirah(photographer).
Fairies in the air... Fazari says "the grass is greener on the ground"
Safiah: FACE OFF AH... Fazari: Nak challenge ke pe...
BOO!
2. Election Day on Wednesday
council nominees; all the best to all deserving nominees
Voting through SMS. Extra lah Musfirah and Wirda! teehee...
But we got bored and our legs and backs so cramped from sitting on the floor...
3. Colloseum on Friday
Before that, I had one period of H1 maths. And am so happy that I got one of the highest in class. 16/25. I know I could have scored better. I mean I took A Math already right? SO...haiz.. ok ok. A lot of careless mistakes. And...now I must maintain this. But everyone should know that this is the FIRST time in history that Safiah scores one of the highest for Maths. I've always been failing Additional Maths during upper sec. Hee hee...Can't help but be happy and telling everyone! haha...
Got ready with Christina. We were so pissed at the fact that we were treated like prisoners. ARGGS. So she asked her dad to send her her stuff. So pissing offing. Haiz..Phobos plus Callisto!
Springing of Christina... ...SUCCESSFUL!
I dinnoe my hair grew THIS long...
YAY! Found a french-braider in school! THANKS RIKA!!! Muackz! Btw...i LOVE th triton cheerleadingdisplay..ROKCS..no wonder they won...and i love your shirts lahh...NICE okay.
Time to try french braiding Christina's hair. CHOPPED: Failure....
Shila is ATLAS' Cheerleader! SO CUTE!
08A301! Plus Musfirah sesat...Phobos and Atlas had to seat at the tentage...haiz.
TOTEM POLE!
Gladiators ball: There was supposed to be heats but it kept postponing due to the rain so J1 and J2 were combined. I was the only J1 in the Gladiator's Ball team cos Shafienas backed out. What a shock I got when I was introduced to the team by Zaki. Arghs. felt so alone being the only J1 but I just tried my best talking to the 3 other J2s. It's something like Captain's ball...and we played on the synthetic football field..I have never had so many people watching me play before, 2 WHOLE HOUSES...a bit...no VERY pressurising. Some more playing with all the basketballers and footballers in my house, they were very competitive...and I had no confidence that the boys would pass to me so I just did my very best defending...and I think it pressured the opponents. But I got tired out easily. Stamina is so low. I was so nervous I'd make a mistake..therefore I did make mistakes when catching the ball. I havn't played for so long so I'm really sorry. But still...I was scared of playing against Callisto cos the girls were all netballers. But we beat them in end. We won all the houses except Triton and I do not know what our end position was. 2nd isit?
I left at the prize-giving ceremony with permission from Zaki and Shafiqah to go to Songfest. Hoon, Christina and me plus Germaine cabbed there so we'd make it on time with good seats. We were trying to pass by that Mister. And we were so scared that we'll get caught or what because the whole school was still at the track for prize-giving. Christina a;ready asked her friend to save us seats. Husna and Haziq came later. Sakinah and Hani, Pamela, and Syazwan were waiting for me at the Audi benches for me to pass them their tickets. When I came, the first three were together and I realised they were classmates and they realised that they were all waiting for the same girl to give her tickets. SO FUNNY! And Syazwan, very baik, go and tell me that his friend had extra ticket so he didn't need my ticket. So I had one extra ticket in the end. Which was sad because I knew 2 peeps who wanted to go but had no tix.
3. Songfest at TPJC '08
I saw Jonathan at the bus stop in the morning and he asked me if I was going...OF COURSE LAH! haha...I totally forgot that he would, of course, be competing...in the FINALS.
Man Khai, u don't know what u missed. HAHA... It so totally rocked and the SC who organised it managed everything very well. THANK YOU SEAN for all the tickets...12 in total. HAHAH.
I still like 'The One I Love' more than the song that Daryl sang that night. But it was cool. Hahah..I think I lost 1/4 of my voice from screaming.
I was supporting: Daryl, Visa, Tara, Aliya, Jonathan
Sean's video was nice! The songfest posters were nice! Good job lah to all the peeps! Everyone dressed really fantabulously!
Daryl got First Runner UP!!!! And a lot of vouchers! Shopping mall vouchers and HMV vouchers...HRMPH...
Ding Jie, me and Christina gave Daryl a bunch of flowers...that does not qualify for a bouquet. Hahah! Met Mr Adrian Tan again!!! HE ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS! hahha...
and Atiqah Lokman, Sarah, Ali, Banu, Nadiah, Amirah, Siti Safiyah, Hisyam...the whole PAE class of 08S27...and also...Shermaine, Cheryl (PE CLASS), HAMAIZAH!!! again... aka Hammy. I still feel so happy when I see her. Haiz...Amira Razali, JOCELYN!, Kailin (so sorry I brushed you aside, I was looking for my handphone)
Me; Christina; Pei Rong!
Me; Christina; Jasmine! Jonathan and me! HAHAH Jonathan Bao Bao! Our guitar Shifu.
Syahidah; Jackson; Boo; ME!; Christina.
Daryl; Pei Rong ( am i allowed to upload this photo? hee...)
Then, Daryl,Pei Rong, Boo, Jackson, Ding Jie, me and Christina went to CC Macs to fill our rumbling tummies. We met Syahidah outside and she wanted to join us. I think half of the people at the extension room at Macs were people from TPJC and some I know by face, some I know personally...haha...this is the 2nd time I lepak there. HEE HEE...so nice lah..
I took many many more photos but they're all with Syahidah, Hamaizah, Ding Jie (ok he just gave me his share), Christina..and one is with Atiqah. HAHA... LOVE THE DAY and NIGHT...
so VIDEOS now lah okk...even though it takes a looong time to upload
DARYL ( 1st runner up- SOLO) :
haha..the microphone kept hitting him. AND guess who were the ones saying " I LOVE YOU!"- Jasmine and Jocelyn! hahaha...cute twins la they. I really like the strumming!
READY. SET. ZAP ( 1st runner up- GROUP)
HAHA...when the curtain opened i was already impressed. Because it was different..and there were fairy lights strung..HAHA NICE. hahah...then I saw it was Jonathan singing...EVEN MORE impressed. haha aiyahh... Jonathan...everything you can do...guitar.drums. SING...
The co-ordination was fantastic and the feeling was natural...haha
ok I am no judge...so just ENJOY...
I'll upload the rest later because JON JON is waiting to see himself. HAHAHA....
XOXO N U R S A F I A H wants to hold on to this moment
haha...i don't know if this is the real translation, i just happened to see it after seeing the video. It's a really nice and simple song. Now I always sing it with Samantha or Xavier. And when I sang the first part of the chorus, which is the only part I know, Martin asked me if I'm really NOT Chinese. HAHAHA. Which reminds me that Sean just asked me if I'm half Chinese. HEHX.
constant playback known presence stops when i pick up my violin
The meaning is really pretty...
Qian Li Zhi Wai by Jay Chou
Awake from the dream, who stands near the window and opened (our/the) ending chapter? The future that is thinner than the wings of a cicada, cannot handle the opening from anyone.
The roof feels like the edge of the cliff, The wind bell sounds like the endless ocean, I waited for the swallow to come back. Time is being arranged (by fate) to perform a coincidence, and you are leaving quietly.
The story is located outside of the city, the mist isn't cleared, (I am) unable to see (your) reply. You did not hear, wind does not exist, it was my sigh.
I walked with you until you left, outside of thousands of miles, you have no replies. In this silent dynasty, maybe I should not fall in love from a distance. I walked with you until you left, outside of the end of the sky, are you still there? Where is the sound of the instrument from? How can I predict whether you are alive? I will use my lifetime, to wait.
With a full set of white clothing, transparenting(??) my sadness about your spotless love. You came from rain, poetically converting my sadness, I stayed in that rain (till) now. Flowers can still be picked from the lake, the shadow of the boat still remains, but you will not come back. (These things are) being dusted with time, the blossom you mentioned, became an empty promise.
how poignant and...
XOXO N U R S A F I A H loves her violin again
P.S. I met Najihah yesterday, somehow she made me realise that it'll all be allright soon. Thanks Naj. And YES we found our poem book! YAY!!!
P.P.S Econs notes and Geog notes and havn't finish Sylvia Plath YET! GRRR...i hate myself now.
haha. ok here goes some random shizzamagizz that i just did. I just typed "i miss you lyrics" on the search box (google's the best) and out pops 930,000 results. yes random. i just needed a break from these Sylvia Plath poems I'm annotating. It can get depressing sometimes...her poems. Only one is uplifting and I'm just not the depression type of person. I hope I never fall into depression. So...just to make me smile..all the I MISS YOU songs...are so...what's the word...I can't find the word for it. Like...suitable for anyone? haha ok. I am so not good with words right this moment...due to the fact that all the cheem words I'm finding the meaning of are stuck in my head. Which IS good.
OK stop missing people because that's what they are. MISSING! haha. Gosh that was funny. OOh..enlightenment..
I miss FARNIE. Hee... I miss Sean-Serene and Wee Shiun. I miss the Good News Cafe Aunty. I miss the Sedap! makciks and pakcik and the PCK sign! HAH HAH! I miss the extension and the cafe and the underground hall.
I miss Cedar and Mrs Choo and Ms Lizah. I miss the mentoring sessions with Mrs Choo. I havn't thanked her properly have I? I miss the history sessions with Ms Lizah. I miss Aunty Lily! I miss Indian Fare makcik! I miss Netball trainings.
I miss my secret admirer. I miss lover. I really miss lover. Heh.
I miss my cute friend.
I miss the KI ppl.
I miss the KI teachers and the KI sessions.
I miss green tea brewed with jasmine. HAHA.
I miss 940.
I MISS SHAHINI AND AM SEEING HER TOMORROW! You'll always be my best friend because you know too much about me! Hee hee...
OK hahah. I am seriously bored. This is therapy. At least I can now say these stuff without wanting to cry. OK. Major progression *pats self on the back*
I even miss Christina...where are you!? Ah ok...I'm definitely so unstable now. Sometimes sooo high. Sometimes sooo low..There's a LOW song by T-PAin right. Maybe I should go and check if there are HIGH songs. hahaha... Say the internet ROCKS.
hannah montana, boys II men, ermm...WHAT LAH...u go do yourself. Quite FUN! hahaha.
I Miss You- Hannah Montana
I miss you I miss your smile And I still shed a tear every once in any while And even though it's different now You're still here somehow My heart won't let you go And I need you to know I miss you Sha-la-la-la-la I miss you
You used to call me your dreamer And now I'm livin' out my dream Oh, how I wish you could see Everything that's happenin' for me I'm thinkin' back on the past It's true the time is flyin' by too fast
I know you're in a better place, yeah But I wish that I could see your face, oh I know you're where you need to be Even though it's not here with me
I Miss You- Blink 182
Hello there The angel from my nightmare The shadow in the background of the mourge The unsuspecting victim Of darkness in the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want Where you can always find me And we'll have Halloween on Christmas And in the night we'll wish this never ends We'll wish this never ends
Where are you And Im so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot drink tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on So haunting every time And as I stared I counted The webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecision to call you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me Your'e already the voice inside my head [I miss you I miss you]
I Miss You- Aaliyah
It's been too long and I'm lost without you What am I gonna do? Said I been needin' you, wantin' you Wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you Is your heart still mine? I wanna cry sometimes I miss you
I'm just wonderin' if you still care I don't wanna let you know That it's killin' me I know you got another life you gotta concentrate baby
OK there is just tooo many. WOO HOO. and i am so high now. AHA... cos some of them are so corny without the music on and i just wanna LMAO! Hahhahaha
XOXO N U R S A F I A H 's emotional graph is spiky!
P.S. my bill is sooo constant $60 plus! i think it will dip cos I will not use my hp much anymore. BTW, i have unlimited SMS to SINGTEL so if u are NOT using SINGTEL please TELL ME! especially if i chat constantly with you.
P.P.S. THERE IS A SONG CALLED HIGH! hahahah whee man i love the lyrics. i've not bothered to listen to the song.
High- James Blunt
Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me. There is nothing else in the world, I'd rather wake up and see (with you). Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again. Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night. But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.
Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again. Do you remember the day when my journey began? Will you remember the end (of time)? Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again. Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine. High; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.
Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older? Promise me tomorrow starts with you, Getting high; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me
and sometimes, songs keep reminding me... @ 12:12 am
especially now. the songs.....oh gosh. Everytime I hear lyrics that synchronise to what I'm feeling in my heart, it'll be number one on my charts.
but I'm so saaad that Kevin left the group! :( WHY!!! Kevin is the one who i like most in the BSB and the one who can sing the best! Gosh...okok. Read the lyrics first then listen to the song. I have never stopped liking BSB ok even though the name sounds funny now. They should be Backstreet Men. HAHAH!
Trouble Is- Backstreet Boys
How come you never know What you got until it's gone Too bad Because I never felt so good with anyone How fooled was I into thinking I was gonna be alright Okay Fine
So every day I try a little harder To forget her Lie here convince myself Tomorrow will be better
The trouble is I can't get her out of my mind When I close my eyes at night Who's gonna save me Now she's gone The trouble is there's a part of me That still can't let go of her memory And now I know what it is Love is what the trouble is
Love is what the trouble is
How come she said You never wear your heart Where I can see Too bad Cause now I'm the one Who's sorry How stupid was I into thinking I was gonna be alright Okay Fine
So everyday I find a little something To remind me No matter how I try I can't put the past behind me
Love has let me go I'm alright, I'm okay I'll be fine, give it time
it's tiring to be happy all the time; emo day @ 9:36 pm
Am so tired cos of Guitar orientation. Yes. This is how bad my stamina is at the moment. Run around school a bit and POOF my body is so tired. My immunity is sooo BAD.
Ok. I miss Daryl a lot. So Daryl if you're reading this, please don't ask me to stop missing you because it's a feeling and I can't make feelings from going away until it does.
Today I missed Jonathan too because it's the first time going to a guitar meeting with no friendly Jonathan's face. And his piercing. And his pro guitar skills. And yeah I kinda miss his friendly voice.
I miss Najihah also. Cos of the fact that she'll go around asking if everything is okay and me being SUCH a pro at guitar will always make funny faces at her, and tell her about the latest news of me and we'll share some insiders cousin-ny joke. GOSH...
ok ok Safiah stop it. You're starting to tear.
And sometimes, especially at this period of time, I cry myself to sleep because I feel so insecure. I don't know about what. My future? My friendships? My life?
Yes I know I shouldn't feel like this. I might as well have stayed in TPJ if I'm always returning back or missing people. But it's too late and in my BRAIN, MJ is the right choice because I really feel like I can study in MJ. If I was hardworking and self-disciplined and brave enough, I'd have stayed. But I'm not. I'm really not. So yeah. Too bad I just had to sacrifice my heart for my brain and future. Who asked me to be so lazy?
Atikah and me felt so unwelcomed or some feeling like that just now. I had to console her a lot. It's just if some people don't know how to welcome other people, it's not their fault right? Nobody taught them. All their life they only knew that the differentiation of 48x is 48 and so on.
I just expect everything to get better in time....as it is supposed to heal everything else. Because now it hurts a lot. So this is why, this song is just going loop-de-loop in my w910i.
Better in Time- Leona Lewis
It's been the longest winter without you I didn't know where to turn to See somehow I can't forget you After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock Who's there no one Thinking that I deserve it Now I realise that I really didn't know If you didn't notice you mean everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok
Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV Without something there to remind me Was it all that easy To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh Hurt my feelings but that's the path I believe in And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok
Since there's no more you and me It's time I let you go So I can be free And live my life how it should be No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you Yes I will
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on the brighter side of life, the day started with 08A301 reminisicing on old boyband songs and I was singing and singing with Martin. Then we started to reminisce about childhood TV shows. I remember there was this one show on Kids Central where there was a clown on a HUGE sofa. Then, Dexter's Lab, Mummies Alive..haiz..that was good fun.
The Sizzling Western food in our canteen can be eaten by Muslims now. YAY!
However, I really DO NOT LIKE the cleanliness of the canteen. EEE gosh. Everytime I go there I shiver. WHY WHY WHY?
And it's so easy to get stains on the MJ uniform. Like mysteriously, out of nowhere and somehow, they are there! Tsk.
I've been elected Vice Chairperson for temporary Class Commitee.
Q:Where is my life going to go? A: I don't know but for the next 18 months, STUDYING is your main priority.
WHAT A LIFE.
Oh and Thank You sooo much to Shafiq for supporting me during the "speeches". Farnie! Thanks to Samantha for being my listening ear at the start of my emo day.
Thanks to Jannah for always picking up the phonecalls when I'm always lost and don't know where the class is.
Thanks to Christina for giving me the hug that I needed. Thanks for introducing me to your classmates. I can only remember Salihin and Azrul and Aida and Kamal.
Thanks to Mark for always giving me reasons to smile at the end of the day. And everyone is talking about Mas Selamat. T.T Everywhere I go. Class, hairdresser. I hope everyone will be safe and everything will be over..
If I should die before I wake Because you took my breath away Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh
I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete Is there an other way I can make you understand?
But oh Do you expect me, to live alone with just me? ‘Cause my world revolves around you It’s so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? Can’t live, can’t breath with no air That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep Tell me how you gon’ be here without me? If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe There’s no air, no air
I walked, I ran, I jumped,I flew Right off the ground to float to you There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real
But somehow I’m still alive inside You took my breath but I survived I don’t know how but I don’t even care
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Najihah, remember the time we had that small book we're supposed to pass to each other everytime we meet? That book of poems we really liked. Where is it now? :)
The video above is not the real official music video. They won't let me copy the codes :( The real video is really very nice. Click here to see.
JANNAH SEXY SEVENTEEN!
1. Shafienas bought Jannah a cream roll from the Recharge stall From left; Fazari, Siti, Me and Shafienas. We all stare at Jannah eating the cake longingly...except Shafienas...since she is so happy that she bought Jannah a present..
2. We all TRY to get a bite. Fazari wants to snatch. Jannah says "OI!" Siti wants to hit Jannah with a ....shoebag?! Shafienas says....let's drink this drink instead!
3. At the end of the day, the nice one gets a feeding from the birthday girl while the naughty Fazari sulks at one corner...
Family photo! Missing in picture: Shafiq and Nadirah(photographer).
Fairies in the air...
Safiah: FACE OFF AH...
BOO!
council nominees; all the best to all deserving nominees
Voting through SMS. Extra lah Musfirah and Wirda! teehee...
But we got bored and our legs and backs so cramped from sitting on the floor...
Got ready with Christina. We were so pissed at the fact that we were treated like prisoners. ARGGS. So she asked her dad to send her her stuff. So pissing offing. Haiz..Phobos plus Callisto!
I dinnoe my hair grew THIS long...
YAY! Found a french-braider in school! THANKS RIKA!!! Muackz! Btw...i LOVE th triton cheerleadingdisplay..ROKCS..no wonder they won...and i love your shirts lahh...NICE okay.
Time to try french braiding Christina's hair. CHOPPED: Failure....
Shila is ATLAS' Cheerleader! SO CUTE!
08A301! Plus Musfirah sesat...Phobos and Atlas had to seat at the tentage...haiz.
Daryl got First Runner UP!!!! And a lot of vouchers! Shopping mall vouchers and HMV vouchers...HRMPH...
Me; Christina; Pei Rong!
Me; Christina; Jasmine!
Jonathan and me! HAHAH Jonathan Bao Bao! Our guitar Shifu.
Syahidah; Jackson; Boo; ME!; Christina.
Daryl; Pei Rong ( am i allowed to upload this photo? hee...)