ok i forgot to tell u all peeps that the whole Sec Twos watched "I Am Sam". It is a story of how a mentally handicapped father looks after his intelligent daughter and the social service takes the daughter away from the father because they thought that he was unable to take care of her.
It was a very touching story and it moved me to pieces. I cried a number of times. I think most of the people there cried too...how can you not? It's only human.
Then today I went to Compass Point with Amira intending to buy a pair of shoes for hari raya. I should have learnt my mistake but no i waited till last minute to buy a pair of shoes. And what happens when you buy shoes at the last minute Safiah? There are no more sizes left...Haiz..
Manufacturers, listen up! You should make more of bigger shoes! Only the bigger shoes run up, never the small size ones..so common sense lah! make money! sheesh.
I was in a bad mood because I made a big stupid mistake and I do not know if I'm going to get away with it or if it is ever going to disappear...I wish we could renovate this whole house...If you are thinking of nominating some house for a House Makover, nominate mE!..... ok.So tomorrow will be the LAST day of the class as a 2/o, second best class of the year after 2/N, and they do deserve it. Two years of trying to get along with each other, fitting in, making friends, developing characters as woman with substance, clashing of personalities, going out together, practising for buzz at canteen, enjoying the same punishments from teachers......and gifts........now its all gonna change.......Next year, there will be new facesnew personalitiesand i will have tolearn where I stand in classstudy hardermake even MORE new friendswhile keeping the old ones....I hope I can make it.Haiz...i complained to Miss Chia why she will be leaving..Why oh WHY!!! Then she say nvmlah...got better teachers then me....so modest. She will be coming in tomorrow to give 2/O something and to say goodbye....and to leave her contact.And today 2/O's main event was to go around collecting money for the earthquake victims at Pakistan. At the end of the day, we managed to collect $550! Whee Hee....!!!! Our initial targetted aim was $350 for today and tomorrow. Tomorrow there will be a food sale... So I hope we can reach a thousand mark>.....ALL THE BEST!
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8:44 pm
ok i have an update to make. PLs my dear friends..check this blog site out kay...
Its the
incrowd blog.
yups...
and that's all for today's news update..thankayooo...
oh and dear anooja has gotten and made herself a prefect councillor, with the help of others of course. n adelaida is THE psl! wahoo...n jannah is going oon and on about my skirt.and amira ponned sch...naughty amira.maisarah oso i think cos she scared about the streaming exercise.oh and miss susan leong is not going to be Cedar's principal anymore!! boo-hoo... She is going to be the principal of Anderson JC. Which is like our brother JC too cos so many Cedarians go there.And the current Temasek Secondary principal is going to be our new principal next year...I am going to miss Miss Leong..and Mrs Ng is retiring! She is a super pro Maths teacher...howells...at least my "ET phone home" is here to stay...and a lot of clever cedarians are up here in the comp lab wacthing our life go to waste....haha. i feel so bleaggs btw.
and i havent properly finished up this blog...it is so original rite..? i noe...haha.
and now That's the end...kaka.
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11:44 am
Okay sorry looong time never update.
Right now, my brain has no capabiluities to write long sentences so I shall just give you a short brief of what happened to me.
We just went to Kampung Gelam/Glam with the malay class. N we went in the Taman Warisan museum.
Then yesterday, me, Amira, Adelaida and Husna went to Geylang...and the whole Paya Lebar stretch. We walked and walked and walked. Even though I was wearing my sneakers, my legs were in pain I cannot imagine how Jannah's legs felt like ( she was weraing high heels). I had already bought a super nice baju kurung with my mother earlier. Then Amira met me and then we met Adel and Jannah.
So now I have to meet my CCA teacher and appeal to join media club..i hope i can! And I will accept the Straits Times Media Club Camp which will be on the 22-24 Nov. And before that, the Sarimbun camp on 18- 21. So then I have to meet Malina. She's in charge of it.
Ok i'm not really entertaining you ppl much cos I can't think. I'm surrounded with people talking about boys. Wassup with dat? I really dun think they are important like for right now. What the boys wanna do is their business...ok im crapping. I'm digressing.
I'm sorry Dian for throwing a bad mood bomb at you unexpectedly.
\I'm beginning to think of not wanting to go out mith my pri sch peeps.
Am I the only decent person around here? Who's not too uncool....oh puhleez. Stop crappig little miss perfect........
AAAHHH.........
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10:56 am
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
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9:42 am
Despite being such a nervous wreck, I think I pulled through nicely. heh. There were supposed to be 4 volunteers doing the press release but only 3 were there. Only 3 of us finished our exams. Cedar's exams finish fast you noe guys. They have holidays until next year cos their 'N' Levels are over.
So the other two are Mark and Rajesh from Monfort Secondary. Both are Sec 4 and they are like more experienced than me lah... Mark is the President of his school's media club while Rajesh is the assistant or one of the ex-co, I forgot. So I am supposed to work with Mark to come up with the intro of the press release of a charity concert that Straits Times is organising. Peter, Paul and Shahrena are the professional journalist who work there and they are guiding us. Peter and Paul were the ones who interviewed me for admission into IN but Peter wasn't there half of the time.
After the discussion in "the cage" as Shahrena calls it, we went to Room P-something to see the Straits Times brief the Life section and The Business Times. Wow, it was like a debate because one of them wants the concert to have this but one of them don't want. Wow...haha.
Then when we came out, Paul said,"That's what happens in your school only your teachers never let you see." Haha.
Then went home by MRT and got to know Mark and Rajesh better. Oh...I look to 2 years of doing this!!
After that, me and Fadi discussed what cookies to bake so we are meeting tomorrow! Can't wait.
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6:30 am
HA.....i can breathe a sigh of relief. No need to study anymore! The exams were all easy excepting I was not fully prepared and lost some points for Science. Maths is just practise and time. History...aaah i like cos i wrote and wrote without resting until my hand was all numb but still I had to force myself to write. Literature, well its okay. Mr Lam taught everything already. As for Geography, hehe I learnt all the right things. HAHA. okay..watever. now must pray to get good marks.
So the next 4 days will be holidays cos it is the marking days. May be watching Corpse Bride with Atikah and bake cookies with Fadilah for Hari Raya. Oh and I have to cut up those bookmarks for Cikgu Mahani.
Then tomorrow I'll be heading down to Singapore Press Holdings to have a briefing on my FIRST assignment which is to come up with some features for press releases....OM! I am so scared cos this will be my first time working with them and iI have NO experience. But that's what I'm there for right? Anyway for you ppl who do not know, I've been admitted to join the IN crowd. You know inside the Straits Times that we get every Monday and there is a newsletter called IN inside, yup. I am in IN. haha...dotz. ok. but one of the requirements to join is that I have to join Media Club which is no biggie cos I have been wanting to join it since before I joined IN even though Kai Qi says that its boring. Howells. Must suffer to feel pleasure.
Then next Monday TRAINING STARTS!!! YAY...haha. can crap with Wei Shan and Fadilah and Charlene. Can "discuss" with Mumu. Can play with the ball! BOING BOING! Whee.
Oh and big breakthrough: I FINISHED READING HARRY POTTER. It is not that I started a long time ago. My cousin just lent it to me. So while I was supposed to study Geography, I became naughty and read the book. But I had studied Geography oredi not to worry. Half-blood prince is not as satisfying as Order of Phoenix.
I LOVE FADILAH!
Weishan no jealousy kay...haha. but today my love goes to dear Fadi.
ok. time for you to know me better:
You are most like an Amethyst.
Like the healing and symbolic properties of the amethyst
you have a strong and clear mind.
Blessed with an inner calm and peace
you are not one to break and fall mentally.
Being such a clear minded person, assuming you are one ;-),
you may possibly have some strong psychic links.
see Amira! I'm psychic! TOLD YOU SO..haha
peridot
Happy and accepting, peridot-types are more
than adapted for change. They have no problem with
trying the new and have quite a positive outlook on life.
They can change to fit more with the people around them and
can make allowances more easily, making it easy to start
new friendships and then keep them going strong.
emerald
Positive yet caring, sensitive and simply divine,
emerald-types have the qualities of a perfect friend.
They value loyalty and inner contentment,
and have time to stand by and listen when
someone has a hardship to face.
They also seem to have a good memory aswell, as it is
something the gems themselves promote.
"many dream of having glimpsed it"
"running away is not the solution, neither is pretending that the problem is solved"
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5:26 pm
The objective behind fasting is to restrain the soul from (its) desires and to prevent it from those things, which are beloved to it. And its purpose is to control the soul's strength, so that it can be prepared to attain what is found in it (the fast) from success and joy for the soul. Through the fast, one curbs his hunger and thirst and is reminded of the condition of the hungry stomachs of needy people.
Through fasting, one narrows the passages the Devil has inside the servant (of Allaah) by narrowing the passages of food and drink. Also, it prevents the forces of the limbs from getting too accustomed to things that are harmful to it in this world and the hereafter. And each of the soul's body limbs and energies can cease their rebelliousness (to Allaah) and be harnessed by its bridle.
So therefore, the fast is the bridle of those who fear and obey Allaah and the shield of those wage war (against desires). And it is a garden for the righteous and devoted servants of Allaah. And it is for the Lord of the worlds, over all other actions (done to please Allaah). This is since the person who fasts, in fact does nothing. He only abandons his desire and his food for the sake of the One whom he worships.
So fasting is an abandonment of those things that the soul loves and desires, preferring instead Allaah's love and contentment. And it is a secret kept between the servant and his Lord - no one else is aware of it. Fasting has an amazing effect in preserving one's outer limbs and inner capacities as well as protecting the soul from being overtaken by destructive components, which can ruin and destroy it. And it has a remarkable effect in causing all the harmful things that prevent the soul from being healthy to be emptied out. So fasting guards and protects the health of the person's heart and body limbs. And it returns the soul all that the hands of the desires has taken from it. So it is from the greatest ways of improving one's Taqwaa, as Allaah says:
"O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those
before you in order that you attain Taqwaa." [Surah Al-Baqarah (THE COW) :
chapter 2 :verse183]
The Prophet (saws) said: "Fasting is a shield." And he commanded those who had
intense desires for marriage but were not able to marry, to observe fasting,
making it a shield against those desires (of marriage).
When the benefits of fasting are born witness to by sensible minds and upright intuitions, one will come to realize that Allaah prescribed it as a mercy for mankind, goodness to them and a protection and shield for them.
The Prophet's (saws) guidance concerning it was the most perfect of guidance, and the best for reaching the desired objective and the easiest on the soul.
Since restraining the soul from what it loves and desires is from the most difficult and hardest of things, its obligation was delayed until the middle of Islaam, after the Hijrah. This was at the point when the Tawheed and the Prayer had become firmly established in the souls of the Muslims and when they loved the commands of Allaah. So their souls were lead to its obligation in gradual steps. It became obligatory in the second year of Hijrah.
When the Messenger of Allaah (saws) died, he had fasted nine Ramadhans in total. Originally, it was obligated as an option left to the people to choose whether they wanted to fast or to feed needy people for every day. Then that option was transferred into the final obligatory fasting. And the matter of feeding people was left only for the old men and women who did not have the ability to fast.
Fasting had three stages. The first stage was its being obligated with the option of fasting or feeding a needy person. In the second stage, only the fasting was allowed, but if the person fasting slept before breaking his fast, he was forbidden from eating and drinking until the following night. This was abrogated in the third stage. And this is the stage at which the Religion has settled with until the Day of Judgement.
The Prophet, salah allahu 'alayhi wa salam, said:
"A blessed month has arrived. Observing it in fasting is mandated on you (the
believers). During this month, the gates of Paradise will be opened and the
gates of Hellfire will be closed. The evil ones (Shayaatin) will be handcuffed.
In it there is one night, during which worship is better than worship in a
thousand months. Whoever is denied its blessings has been denied the biggest
blessing."
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5:34 pm
By Sultana Yusuf Ali (a 17-year-old high school student)
Published in Toronto Star Young People's Press
An insightful and personal account of why a Western teenage girl would reject the 'wonders' of fashion, and want to cover herself in the hijab (veil).
I probably do not fit into the preconceived notion of a "rebel". I have no visible tattoos and minimal piercing. I do not possess a leather jacket. In fact, when most people look at me, their first thought usually is something along the lines of "oppressed female". The brave individuals who have mustered the courage to ask me about the way I dress usually have questions like: "Do your parents make you wear that?" or "Don't you find that really unfair?"
A while back, a couple of girls in Montreal were kicked out of school for dressing like I do. It seems strange that a little piece of cloth would make for such a controversy. Perhaps the fear is that I am harboring an Uzi machine gun underneath it! Of course, the issue at hand is more than a mere piece of cloth. I am a Muslim woman who, like millions of other Muslim women across the globe, chooses to wear a hijab. And the concept of the hijab, contrary to popular opinion, is actually one of the most fundamental aspects of female empowerment. When I cover myself, I make it virtually impossible for people to judge me according to the way I look. I cannot be categorized because of my attractiveness or lack thereof. Compare this to life in today's society: We are constantly sizing one another up on the basis of our clothing, jewelry, hair and makeup. What kind of depth can there be in a world like this?
Yes, I have a body, a physical manifestation upon this Earth. But it is the vessel of an intelligent mind and a strong spirit. It is not for the beholder to leer at or to use in advertisements to sell everything from beer to cars. Because of the superficiality of the world in which we live, external appearances are so stressed that the value of the individual counts for almost nothing. It is a myth that women in today's society are liberated. What kind of freedom can there be when a woman cannot walk down the street without every aspect of her physical self being "checked out"? When I wear the hijab I feel safe from all of this. I can rest assured that no one is looking at me and making assumptions about my character from the length of my skirt. There is a barrier between me and those who would exploit me.
I am first and foremost a human being, one of the saddest truths of our time is the question of the beauty myth and female self-image. Reading popular teenage magazines, you can instantly find out what kind of body image is "in" or "out" . And if you have the "wrong" body type, well, then, you're just going to change it, aren't you? After all, there is no way you can be overweight and still be beautiful. Look at any advertisement. Is a woman being used to sell the product? How old is she? How attractive is she? What is she wearing? More often than not, that woman will be no older than her early 20s, taller, slimmer, and more attractive than average, and dressed in skimpy clothing. Why do we allow ourselves to be manipulated like this? Whether the 90s woman wishes to believe it or not, she is being forced into a mould. She is being coerced into selling herself, into compromising herself. This is why we have 13-year-old girls sticking their fingers down their throats to vomit and overweight adolescents hanging themselves.
When people ask me if I feel oppressed, I can honestly say no. I made this decision of my own free will. I like the fact that I am taking control of the way other people perceive me. I enjoy the fact that I don't give anyone anything to look at and that I have released myself from the bondage of the swinging pendulum of the fashion industry and other institutions that exploit females. My body is my own business. Nobody can tell me how I should look or whether or not I am beautiful. I know that there is more to me than that. I am also able to say no comfortably when people ask me if I feel as if my sexuality is being repressed. I have taken control of my sexuality. I am thankful I will never have to suffer the fate of trying to lose / gain weight or trying to find the exact lipstick shade that will go with my skin color. I have made choices about what my priorities are and these are not among them.
So next time you see me, don't look at me sympathetically. I am not under duress or a male-worshiping female captive from those barbarous Arab deserts. I've been liberated!
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3:19 pm
This Ramadhan, I will establish a close relationship with the Qur'aan. I will give the top priority to knowing and understanding the contents and message of the Qur'aan. I will finish the whole Qur'aan with translation and tafseer by studying it steadily throughout the month from a good, translation and tafseer.
I will not sleep after Fajr, but instead study the Qur'aan until I am ready to go to school or work. Throughout the day, I will find time to revise and re-learn the Surahs and Aayaat I already know. Once that is completed, I will learn at least one Aayah a day from a Surah I do not already know.
This Ramadhan, I will sleep early, soon after Ishaa. I will go to bed with clear and conscious intention of fasting the next day, as well as with the intention of getting up early for Tahajjud. Then, while remembering Allaah, I will fall asleep. I will get up really early, thanking Allaah for giving me life, offer Tahajjud and then make special Duaa for the mercy of Allaah on our Ummah, His help for its success and well being, and His interference to foil the plans of the enemy. I will also make special Duaa that Allaah protects me, my family and my Ummah from the Dajjaal and his Fitnah.
Just for this month, I will not watch TV at all. I would rather spend the month on my personal improvement, personal spirituality and building a close, personal relationship with Allaah, rather than on such an activity which will not benefit me at all.
While fasting, I will make a special effort to speak only to add value and to say only what is true, factual, positive, meaningful and useful. When I do not have anything good and useful to talk about, instead of saying anything else, I will remember Allaah through the beautiful words taught by our Prophet, while paying attention to their meanings and feeling the impact of the words on my heart, my mind, my thoughts and my attitude. Or, if I do not know them, I will learn those words of remembrance or prayer. Or, I will spend those moments to recite the portions of the Qur'aan that I know or learning those I do not.
I will not lend my ears to anything that is useless, indecent, negative, spiteful or inappropriate. In my car, I will listen to the Qur'aan or some good speech of a reputed scholar. My car CD player has a feature that allows it to repeat the same piece over and over again. It can help me learn new verses or Surah.
Similarly, while riding the transit or subway, I will use my pocket-sized Qur'aan or book of Prophet's Duaas to recite, practise or revise those I know or learn those I do not know.
This Ramadhan, I will particularly watch my gaze. While glancing on a member of opposite sex, I will move my gaze away before I start evaluating or assessing the attractive features of looks, appearance or personality or before I start paying attention to or begin enjoying those attractions. I will not participate or listen to the comments of sexual nature that my colleagues, peers or friends make.
While remembering Allaah in many other ways, I will more frequently ask for Allaah's mercy in the first 10 days of Ramadhan, invoke Allaah's forgiveness in the second 10 days, and seek salvation from the Fire in the last 10 days. During the last ten nights, I will frequent the Duaas.
This Ramadhan, I will be exceptionally charitable. The tears that fill my eyes when I see the scenes of devastation, disease, starvation, agony, displacement, killings, blown up bodies and severed limbs of poor, helpless people of Afghanistan, Palestine, Chechnya and Kashmir and elsewhere will ameliorate my heart and open my purse. I will send all my Zakaah to them right at the beginning of Ramadhan through trustworthy Islamic charities.
In addition to my Zakaah, I will pay whatever I can spare from my family's necessities for helping those in dire need. I will avoid spending money on my home decoration etc, so that those who are in more need then me and my family can be helped.
Also this Ramadhan, I will be generous and forgiving to my family, friends and the Muslim community at large. I will clear my heart from anger complaints, suspicion, jealousy, grudges or dislike against any of them.
I will be extra kind, accommodating, courteous, supportive and helpful to my non-Muslims neighbours and colleagues. I will find ways to have them participate in the blessings of Ramadhan and happiness of Eid by sharing my food specialties with them or giving gifts and chocolates to them.
I will kick at least one of my bad habits such as arriving late for appointments or breaking promises. I will show up or do what I indicate I will do and I will show up or do so on time. If I am a smoker, this Ramadhan, I will not smoke even after Iftaar, before Suhoor or at night. I will keep my mouth odour free for prayers and Allaah's remembrance and my lungs, blood and heart from disease.
If I am a university student whose final exams are falling in Ramadhan, my act of worship is to do my utmost best to study hard and get the best possible results, given that any moment that is not spent on studying is not spent in any other pursuit except in the remembrance of Allaah or study of the Qur'aan.
While travelling to/from or within campus or while taking a break from studies, I will automatically shift to remembrance of Allaah or recitation of the Qur'aan. For my studies, I will keep timings that are consistent with the spirit of Ramadhan, i.e. sleep early and get up very early.
Instead of staying up late at the risk of missing Suhoor or Fajr, I will adjust my body clock to Islamic lifestyle instead of the western lifestyle. When I get up to study at 2 or 3 AM, I will start with two Raka'at of Tahajjud and then continue with my studies. After Fajr, I will still spend 15-20 minutes on the study of Tafseer even on exam days.
If I succeed this Ramadhan in living as planned above, I will be able to look back and rejoice on the day of Eid and will work more hard towards hasanat through out the year inshaAllah.
May Allaah help us with our pious plans, Ameen.
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3:11 pm
