hoho...
i was really down a moment ago. but i just happened to choose this POKEMON out of my many links...
i chose MEOWTH. ahhah
MAOQIANG!!!!!please read his blog if u are feeling particularly down...u will just become a fool laughing at the computer screen in moments i swear. haha. i just recovered from being one. hee..
ok ive just been waiting for so many ppl to give me pics. im just gna move on yeah. cos they're so SLOW. haha
guilty ppl include:
MUHAINA. haha
and the rest, is just my freak of a comp. Don't know why, cant transfer pictures...
what i need now is just to sing with Fadilah and Sadelena...I LOVE YOU PEEPS. just felt like saying this. I know it's been really long since last saw you two but no one can replace the lame crap spasticness we have ok. No one can join me in singing quite like you both. YOU ROCK a section of my life...like FULL UP! And I know that we just need each other at the moment...NEVERMIND we'll see each other on Friday.
BUT ALSO....HAPPY BDAY FADILAH! WO HEN AI NI MEN!!!!
我很爱你们!!!! i should just upload all my photos on my flickr acct and just link it here. hahaha. lazy lah
ok my life in lists
1. hamlet play
2. faris hezan turned 2!
3. me got in exco...section leader..woots!
4. guitar lunch at seoul garden!
5. guitar handover dinner at bugis! hahahah.....ohho... i shall elaborate later lah.
6. Mardi Gras @ TJC
7. Planning of Bridging Hearts, Saving the Earth Carnival is finally accelerating. Hai...hope everything will be allright...THANKS MUU for hopping on. I REALLY DO NEED YOU. haha
Today, intended to study w Mu but woke up late cos talked to Sean online lah until so late. Then felt sluggish in the morning so got ready so slowly. Went to school met Muu. With her PW grp. Lunched with them at Food Culture. Someone's prank calling Muu. Then Firdaus acted as her bro/bf cant rmb which then threatened to call up all the underground gangs in Singapore to come after that prank caller. Poor prank caller. ahhaha. Then Theodora was bullied. Cos Firdaus wanted to guess who she like...funny lah...And Muu was talking about SHIT! oh myyy. slapped her many times. I WAS EATING DEAR! haha... then Muu dragged me to Cedar Training. Ok Wei Shan called also and sms-ed me to come. HAIZ, poor me have been labelled MUGGER. oh no...the M word! hahah right.
We finally got to Cedar rightly. ahha....no more adventures now MU! Hee..even thought it was on a VINTAGE (say it vin-taa-ge) bus. I wasted my time there lah...just for the camwhoring and company and teasing Charlene...saying she's still short, then complimenting on how pretty she still is and persuading her that she must believe it. HAHA...awww...made her BLUSH!!!
That Mardi Gras on Friday night, thankayoo to Christina for getting me tix! It was all so spontaneous, which is one of my fav things!, and freak took the wrong bus many times already. Haiz...what happened to my streetwise self...gone so haywire. Mardi Gras was ok. But Christina you all stand around waiting for what! hahahha....Hung around with Dian and Khai most of the time. Aww...missed Dian....we should sit down and talk properly but I couldnt feel comfy with Khai around....we havnt done that in a while...I don't know what I should do about this. Saw so many ppl. Was just so happy meeting and seeing them...HEIDI! i miss my french braider. Atiqah tkgs (short hair look chinese) ohho , glad u rmb me even tho i dont rmb u tt much. CHARLENE! KAIQI! ALL MY CEDAR SENIORS! haiz...too many to list down but...it's good to see the past in the present. ahha..and of course, my dear cousin, Azmi....and his dikir barat....Imagine "Please Don't STop The Music" by Rihanna in malay and in dikir rythm. ROCKS LAH ROCKS! hahaha genius ppl. I so wanna be in dikir...haiz.
>< MAO QIANG IS SO TOTALLY MAKING THIS EARLY MORNING ROCK! Hahhah all the songs damn nice MAO! u rock! My song encyclopedia! hee...
sometimes you just need to be light and heck care and just look on the surface...and ignore those other stuff...to deal with the problem.....until it's gone....but is it really gone....why did Safiah get herself involved in so many things and just have to be forced to pull away at later times....grr saf. grr...
oh oh oh and Cedar Alumni Training at VJ ROCKS!!! sui hui! coach evelyn! coral! hahah and so many more...oh gosh i can never stop saying that CEDARIANS ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS....hahahha......we are so farnie and lame and farnie and lame and farnie and lame. ahhaha...welll most of us...BUT we are also HAWT PPL...ok major ego boost here. BUT if im not a cedarian I would still say Cedarians are HAWT! or maybe just the netballers ;) haha.
Evelyn: Im getting married
All of us: OOh.
Me: When are u getting married
Evelyn: Probably next year (or is it this year? cant rmb) October
Coral: I'm getting married too (serious face, everyone looks at her)
Evelyn: What's the second part of the statement.
Coral: Where got.. I'm getting married in october too.
Evelyn: Serious?
Coral: Yeah but don't know which year lah.
All of us: WAHHAAHHAHAHH ..
omg hahahh. farnie ok..and most of us, NO STAMINA, LESSER SKILL, CLUMSY HAWT PPL ON THE VJ NETBALL COURTS. hahaahaah
and really, once u start being down....ohmaaan u don't know how many funny things are on the web! oh kayy maybe u just have to know where to search huh...so all the best! ahahha....mean while im still here...if u get me high enough, the safe n legal ways, ahhah. I miss losing control and just ROTF laughing...haha...
ok here goes the start of a whirlwind June....GO SAFIAH JIA YOU! or as Sim Yee says, ADD OIL...ahaaa laaame.
current loves:
Together- Neyo
CLICK THISand
THISLIBBA BRAY ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS! she is just soooo funny. HAiz
and JOY! A Great and Terrible Beauty the movie is in productions! YES YES YES! Muacks to the only Trilogy I love.
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1:37 am
i'm sorry.
Sometimes, you spend the whole day so lost and away from the world. Even if you have the world at your fingertips. You just want to see a familiar kind human face. You want to see this face badly but you don't know how to ask for it. You don't know if it's right to ask for it. All you know is you need the comfort and the company. It comes. When it does, you're at a loss for words. You don't know what to say. You just want to run away. You don't want to search for peace in that face you've been wanting to see for ages. You don't know. You just don't. It's a deep fear. It is real deep.
And when the moment's gone. You wished it was different. You wished that you weren't so scared. Because it isn't like you at all. You need to see a picture of calm and collectedness to soothe this frazzled nerves of yours. So why are you turning away?
I wish I knew...
I don't know what it is that I want.
I'm sorry.
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12:05 am
THANKAYOOOOS to the wonderful people in my world. HEE. in comparison today is horrible. GOsh I havent "edited" photos in ages. Guess I'll leave this as a preview. HAHA It looks like the cover of a book anyways so. I'll update more when I come back from sch. Even though I don;t have to go to school but I do have to because. HAIZ. Yeah today's e learning day which is so horrible.
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3:57 pm
what a pretentious title.
i feel that it's a title that should be given to a poem but i am too lazy and i can't think. I just want to let it all out and let the WWW know without any masks or having to make them analyse and guess and make essays about what I really mean behind all the metaphors and imagery. PHEW. I feel like a POS once more....ohmaan...is this gonna be those posts where the blogger rambles and feels bad abt herself and the reader goes "what in the freaking world is she going on about". I wish I could let it all out here. Because I need someone to know. It's not that I don't want to tell you, reader but more of the fact that I'm not sure if I should relieve the burden on you. I can't stand this feeling. I think I do know what it is that I'm feeling but it's because I havn't told anyone about it which keeps me from thinking that it's real and therefore I'm avoiding it and not thinking how I'm going to manage this feeling. SHAHINI I NEED YOU. haiz...I need someone sane to knock me back into my senses. I need someone to always be there as in physically. As in I can touch. Ok eew...as in I can point and poke. HAH! Gosh, I know Shahini and our relationship is such that we don't see each other that often but still we get each other...maybe she knows me better than I know myself. I believe she does. SHAHINI! SHAHINI! SHAHINI!!!! You shouldnt have done this to me larhhh...can't u abondon your cousins for ONCE! Haiz....I tell you, maybe I havn't treasured this friendship enough? Nevermind, I got back at you oredi. HAHA. SERVES YOU RIGHT MAN! haha...u've got to wait till i see you then you'll know...Anyways I don't know I think I feel so freaking alone in school. I mean there are my classmates and all..there are people. And sometimes I sms Sean (thanks (: BIG HELP, really)...ok not sometimes....usually it's always. I do sms him a lot such that I think my bill is going to burst. BUT HOW...he makes the day more....livable/passable/funny. HAHA.... really lah. THANKS. Hope that didn't give the wrong impression to some. But still...ohmygoshhhh...I feel so alone. Muu helps tho. But it's such a momentary glimpse of her..I just got to make this work for, ermm I donno...1.5 more years?...ohmygosh. What a desperate post....Ahmad's still a great friend for laughing at, and laughing with. Christina is so bz too. Atiqah too. HAISS. People are just SO BZ. FULLSTOP.
I wonder how Sadelena feels...hope she's okay...if i feel like this, she must feel worse and her problem, if it is a problem, no her situation, is worse. I think.
I need to talk to Erma too. My phonecall for her is so long overdue. WHY CAN't YOU CALL ME INSTEAD ERMS.
Why is it ME who has to call people? Same goes for Daryl. Gosh. Oh need to ask him to update me too..or should I just wait till we see each other again.
However...will I be closer to the guitar gang? Gosh...haha..we rock tho I think. Oh I've been made Section Leader! So I'm part of the EXCO. Nice Safiah. Haha..
22nd-23rd May: E Learning Days
23rd May: Mardi Gras!
30th May: outing w/Sade, Fadi; Manifestasi @ TPJC
31st May: TPJC Guitar/Band Concert @ VCH
1st June: Netball Carnival (quasi suicide- NO STAMINA AT ALL!)
2nd-4th June:Guitar Camp?
6th June: SHAHINI turns 17!
The rest of June holidays: Study/make notes and coach Erma on E math...
to do list:
Call up those guitar peeps
study Econs for tomorrow's test
do Maths inequalities tutorial
finish reading "A Sweet Far Thing" by Linda Bray
SHAHINI IS A BIG LAZY BUM. NO ARGUMENTS. =Pxoxo
N U R S A F I A H
somebody save her. quick.
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4:31 pm
1. omy i should seriously sleep now but someone made me so low i can't sleep. :( and then i go online and read some people's blog and think i should have chosen other paths in life and then i block this thought by thinking i did make the right choice in the end because it's all for the "greater good"... i seriously wanted to be in a student council thingy. can i still do that in uni?
and sheets my dad's home...*break time*
AND It's Morning now. i spotted Sean online. HAHA. I know he told me to sleep earlier. I DID ok. THen I woke up, felt restless and went online. OK.
2. I should start planning my holidays
3. I should go read my books now
4. Oh guess what I didn't go to school for 5 days. Stomach flu. I believe I have never experienced this.
5. I SHALL UPDATE SO ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
freak. cant upload photos. arghh...okok update later then...toodles.
oh man what a *talk to myself* post.
❤ {use your phone. no dictionary!}
77772333444244 555666888337777 99966688Hmm. Yup!
XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
is very satisfied for now :) and that's all there is to it.
let's live day by day and not think abt the future.
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11:41 pm
Alhamdulillah.....
thank you for letting me find myself. thank you for giving me friends who believe in me and love me and accept me for who i am and what i am. because i've never felt so lost. thank you thank you thank you. may you be rewarded. :) safiah loves you very very much. thank you for giving me time. thank you for giving me this test so I know what I am made of. so I know who I really am. I feel so loved. Thank you.
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1:05 am
sick
tissue
thanks
depressed
thanks
confusion
thanks
soccer game
amira came
thanks
smell nice
cedar love
thanks
best friend knows what to say
THANKS!!!
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11:33 pm
