I've always stayed true to this blog..went through many skin makeovers.. ahha.. my first ever blog.
So I want it to stay just the way it is. Hrm..
I've created a new blog at
http://thisisnursafiah.blogspot.comSo I'll be posting there from now on. (:
THANK YOU!
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11:52 pm
I've always wanted to give a post on why I wear my selendang/tudung/hijab. Since I've put it on in Primary 5, my friends or people who were around me have been asking me why I wear the tudong. It's hard to explain in such a short time and it's hard to put it in words, especially when I have not put my thoughts into words.
When I decided, I didn't think to myself about the reasons. I just knew that it was one of the rules in the Quran, Allah's words...I told my mum of my decision to put it on.
She asked me, "Are you sure about this?"
I said," Yes".
"What if one day, you feel like taking it off and not wearing it anymore?"
"Then that will just be the shaitans."
There have been so many times, so so many times that I felt like not wearing my tudong since when I first started. Sometimes, it's cos of the shaitans. Though, it's quite hard sometimes, especially because I was young and my friends could put on any old t-shirt that they wanted but I had to find long sleeved ones. But over the years, as my thinking matured or should I say progressed? and as my friends wanted to know and I always got involved in activities where there were not many people wearing the tudong which increased the numbers of those types of friends, I had to really sit down and think why I made this decision in the first place.
Sometimes, significant things happen and you don't really notice. Well I noticed that since I did put on the tudong, I notice that the people around me start to put them on too. Me and my cousin, Najihah, who's around the same age as me had this code on what to wear as we neared what age. At some point in growing up, we stopped wearing shorts, then bermudas then 3/4 pants and we only put on long pants. Even without anyone telling us, we preferred not showing so much skin. It was some kind of inborn instinct. I can't remember who put in on first or what. I don't remember if we discussed about it but I think we made the decision at around the same time. And Najihah is one of my close cousins.
I had violin lessons every Saturday too, since K2 and it might be a surprise for them when one Saturday, I turned up wearing the tudong. I can't remember if any of the students wore it too but I believe, I was the first in my class. There were some other seniors though. Then a few months later, I think another student in my class started and some time after that, another. My own teacher didn't wear the tudung but I guess, after some loooong time, something made her wear it too. Maybe some people thought that it was a requirement only after marriage. But she was still single. Even till now.
Am I saying that because of my decision, I influenced people to start wearing the tudong? No. But I guess, it's still nice to think that way. *can't be perassan right ehemm**
Also, after Kak Noi, me and Najihah are the eldest girl cousins in that side of the family. All our aunts wear tudungs. But Kak Noi doesn't wear it. It's a personal thing. It's not culture or tradition. But after Najihah and me, all the girl cousins wear tudungs after they reached maturity. It's easier when you have a family to support you. However, there's no certain age by when you HAVE to decide when you want to put it on...when it's right for you, you'll know. Hence, no one pesters Kak Noi to wear it, because she's her own person.
So yes, anyhways, this all started from me reading this article:
A Japanese Woman's Experience of HijaabAnd I took a break and I can't remember what I actually wanted to say. Hrmm..ahha!
It's also very difficult sometimes when I go to school and I can't wear the tudung and when I'm not going to school, I'm wearing it. So therefore, I don't wear it for school-related activities. I just try not to take advantage of the times when I go to school wearing uniform and unable to wear the tudung.
Sometimes, I also see my friends who stop wearing tudung but I don't judge them because, who am I to judge. It's great though that they are thinking about the reasons that they're wearing the tudong. It's a commitment and no one should be forcing them to do so because if you're forced to do something, you won't follow through it full-heartedly because you don't believe in it. Also, when one is ready.
Well, yup I realise sometimes of how weak I am... all the things I wish Ihadn't done. I hope I find the strength not to commit any more sins...
Humans are just so weak aren't they. But it's easier to follow the rules.
So, to a new Hijrah year and to a new A.D. Year, I'll just have to be strong. Yupp.
Labels: decision, life, reflection
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7:51 pm
wooo
So, it's a new year... bahh... there's so many things and I just can't put it into words...A fresh start and I can FINALLY start using that '09 diary. YABBADABBADOOOOO
WOO HOOO
YESSS!!! I can finally start to write and see my day planned out. I don't know why but I really like to see my day on a piece of paper. Surprises are always welcomed tho. Not everything is and will be planned is it?
The past year... wow, a lot of ups and downs... So many times I was crazily happy and equally as many times I was so down in the dumps. But... I always now that there are a select few that I can always turn to. And my classmates are hilarious as they always are.
Mari Mambo was a success but I think...hrmm..more organised stuff would'nt hurt too. HAHA. But it was really great seeing a plan becoming a reality. It's always great when that happens.
So for the next weeks, I foresee a lot of catching up of homework, reading of Shakespeare's plays, practising of SYF pieces and Borak Buddies date at Jannah's just us....homework + fondue. BAGOSSSS sangat. HEHEHEHE.
OH AND ERMA's SIS's WEDDING!!! GAHH homework everyday SAFIAH. YAHAHAHH!
ALL THE BEST ALL THE BEST!
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12:54 am
