N U R S A F I A H

Sunday, March 02, 2008/

Fariz's Bday @ 8:54 pm

I missed the little "family gathering" of the PAE 08S28 family because I had Fariz's birthday to go to. I don't like going to two things at a time EVERYTIME because I feel so rushed and a bit guilty to my family. With the new addition to the house, I feel it is my responsibility as the eldest to take care of the baby brother. It may be frustrating at times but just looking at his cute face makes me realise how innocent and pure he is. I wanted a baby brother so I must help my mum with everything. So I'm really sorry to Jasmine, Jocelyn and Mark for not being able to make it. I really really want to watch Leap Years with you! And I can't make it again next Saturday because of Gema Puisi Artistik which I promised Sadelena since we were in secondary school that we would go every year even after we graduated frm Cedar.

So I went to meet Shila at White Sands and left Ahmad and Adli to go shopping for Fariz's present on their own. Shila and me decided to be so BUDG-JET (say it the Liyana way!) and give him chocolates that we like and we bought a ready-made wrapping paper bag and put all the chocs inside. Honestly, we didn't know what to get for a boy. We met Adli and Ahmad at Level One and saw Jannah, Adelaida and Kikin. HAHA. What a coincidence. Then I asked them where they were going and they replied, "To Fariz's birthday party." I forgot that they knew Fariz too from Young Minds Club ( YMC Mendaki). That was quite a pleasant surprise. The boys bought a pair of shades for him. Quite nice. Jannah wanted to buy SOMETHING REALLY BAD for Fariz and me and Kikin RULED it out for her. So EMBARASSING T.T hehx.

I think our group was the first to reach the chalet. Then, Leon came. Phay Key, Dian, Izwan and Serene from the GPS part, some of Fariz's MI OG mates (I only caught the name of one of them- Grace) and more of the YMC people - Hani (in AJC now), Fads( she only came for a while and just barely said hello to her, Mat ( in NJip) and Zul (ACJC). Jannah's in SAJC and Adel's in ACSib and she really really likes what she's studying there though she says the culture's not that good. Kikin's in Sg International School. Yeah. Adel and Kikin are cousins. Ok then I really enjoyed myself because I talked a lot to both groups cos I know them. Haha... Jannah and Adelaida are my secondary school mates. Quite close to them. I really caught up a lot with Leon and Serene. Serene's in VJ and she was in Dunman High before that. She said that it's been four years and all she saw was Chinese and this is the first time she interacted with Malays after those four years. HAHA. Serene's really very sweet. I don't know why but Shila and Dian didn't really look like they were enjoying themselves. Hee...

Ahmad was a bit fed up at us cos we talked about SCHOOL AND SCHOOL...honestly, there's really nothing much I can talk about because if I let him take the lead, the direction of the conversation will veer off to GIRLS...T.T

Fariz's sister really changed alot huh...When Puberty sets in...his younger brothers all still look the same to me. And I'm glad that his parents still remember me!

The pictures I took were all crap and so I'll just wait for Jannah to come online. I went home with Adelaida, Kikin and Hani. The first to go. Found out that Hani takes H1 maths too! YAY!

___

Things are so freaking different now.

I really appreciate the fact that even though we all lead different lives, my primary school friends and I make an effort to meet up regularly. That can't be said for some people who right now, don't even want to SEE my face/HEAR my voice and I can't figure out WHY WHY WHY. I really do not know WHAT in the world I did wrong. I thought things would be okay...I thought wrong. How can it be that one point of time we were so close and now I just feel HATE. Everytime I try to approach with caution, I'd be pushed away. There's a limit to the bruises my heart can take. There's so many theories my mind came up with to protect what was treasured in the past: you're protecting yourself (from WHAT?), you're trying to make life better by pretending this is some tragic drama (It's NOT. This is LIFE. This is REAL.) and that after a hundred years, someone will come back to you and save you from your misery (you won't live that long). I'm trying so hard not to hate you but can you just realise that it hurts. It hurts a lot....

oh gosh. You just commited an act of humanity. THANKS : )

i'll live.

for now.

X O X O

N U R S A F I A H

will find happiness in the little things

Labels: birthday bash, outburst, primary school gang

a lyfe* like mine-; 8:54 pm