N U R S A F I A H

Wednesday, March 05, 2008/

it's tiring to be happy all the time; emo day @ 9:36 pm

Am so tired cos of Guitar orientation. Yes. This is how bad my stamina is at the moment. Run around school a bit and POOF my body is so tired. My immunity is sooo BAD.

Ok. I miss Daryl a lot. So Daryl if you're reading this, please don't ask me to stop missing you because it's a feeling and I can't make feelings from going away until it does.

Today I missed Jonathan too because it's the first time going to a guitar meeting with no friendly Jonathan's face. And his piercing. And his pro guitar skills. And yeah I kinda miss his friendly voice.

I miss Najihah also. Cos of the fact that she'll go around asking if everything is okay and me being SUCH a pro at guitar will always make funny faces at her, and tell her about the latest news of me and we'll share some insiders cousin-ny joke. GOSH...

ok ok Safiah stop it. You're starting to tear.

And sometimes, especially at this period of time, I cry myself to sleep because I feel so insecure. I don't know about what. My future? My friendships? My life?

Yes I know I shouldn't feel like this. I might as well have stayed in TPJ if I'm always returning back or missing people. But it's too late and in my BRAIN, MJ is the right choice because I really feel like I can study in MJ. If I was hardworking and self-disciplined and brave enough, I'd have stayed. But I'm not. I'm really not. So yeah. Too bad I just had to sacrifice my heart for my brain and future. Who asked me to be so lazy?

Atikah and me felt so unwelcomed or some feeling like that just now. I had to console her a lot. It's just if some people don't know how to welcome other people, it's not their fault right? Nobody taught them. All their life they only knew that the differentiation of 48x is 48 and so on.

I just expect everything to get better in time....as it is supposed to heal everything else. Because now it hurts a lot.
So this is why, this song is just going loop-de-loop in my w910i.

Better in Time- Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming
thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

________________

on the brighter side of life, the day started with 08A301 reminisicing on old boyband songs and I was singing and singing with Martin. Then we started to reminisce about childhood TV shows. I remember there was this one show on Kids Central where there was a clown on a HUGE sofa. Then, Dexter's Lab, Mummies Alive..haiz..that was good fun.

The Sizzling Western food in our canteen can be eaten by Muslims now. YAY!

However, I really DO NOT LIKE the cleanliness of the canteen. EEE gosh. Everytime I go there I shiver. WHY WHY WHY?

And it's so easy to get stains on the MJ uniform. Like mysteriously, out of nowhere and somehow, they are there! Tsk.

I've been elected Vice Chairperson for temporary Class Commitee.

Q:Where is my life going to go?
A: I don't know but for the next 18 months, STUDYING is your main priority.

WHAT A LIFE.

Oh and Thank You sooo much to Shafiq for supporting me during the "speeches". Farnie! Thanks to Samantha for being my listening ear at the start of my emo day.

Thanks to Jannah for always picking up the phonecalls when I'm always lost and don't know where the class is.

Thanks to Christina for giving me the hug that I needed. Thanks for introducing me to your classmates. I can only remember Salihin and Azrul and Aida and Kamal.

Thanks to Mark for always giving me reasons to smile at the end of the day. And everyone is talking about Mas Selamat. T.T Everywhere I go. Class, hairdresser. I hope everyone will be safe and everything will be over..

XOXO
N U R S A F I A H
feels blah and insecure

Labels: 08A301, music, outburst, video

a lyfe* like mine-; 9:36 pm